Waiting
by A Spot of Bother
Summary: AU. They promised to meet in the next life but they have to find each other first. AkuRoku. Complete.
1. Prelude

(A/N): Ok, so it's not the most original concept in the world, but hey - I never claimed to be the bearer of all things fresh and original. Updates will probably be sporadic, for which I apologize in advance. And for once, I have no concept ahead of time how long this thing will actually be, so please bear with me. Reviews are always welcomed (with manic grins).

Disclaimer: Oh, please. As if I really owned these characters.

Prelude

"Let's meet again in the next life." _– Axel, Twilight Town_

Roxas scowled down at the trash littered across the pavement, wishing for the tenth time that he had taken up smoking. Or drinking. Anything that would've given him something more to do than lean against the soot-smeared wall as he waited for Namine – something that would've occupied his hands, which he was shoving irritably into the deep pockets of his dark jacket for the fifth time.

He hated waiting.

Because when he was still, when he didn't have anything with which to occupy himself, he couldn't ignore the hollow ache that would creep up on him, or the remnants of half-remembered dreams that plagued him nightly.

"Roxas!"

His head whipped up, eyes seeking the pale head of hair that belonged to his best friend. There – the petite girl was winding her way through the dispersing students, notebooks and sketchpad held aloft to prevent them from being jostled out of her small hands.

Roxas's scowl melted into an almost-smile, the corner of his lips quirking just slightly as Namine came to stand before him, books clutched to her chest.

Everything about the girl seemed washed-out – her platinum blonde hair was so pale it was almost white, her skin looked as if she had never spent a day outdoors in her life, and her clothing was non-descript and monotone. Her eyes were the only colorful things about her – a deep, piercing blue that seemed to look right through you and not only understand, but forgive.

"Sorry," Namine said quietly, reaching up to tuck a pale strand of hair back behind her ear. "I had to stop by the office and pick up Hayner's homework."

Roxas made a small noise of acknowledgement in the back of his throat. Their brash friend had been out sick with the flu for the past two days – he should've known Namine would take it upon herself to deliver his missed assignments to him.

"Roxas? You ok?"

With a slight mental shake, Roxas managed to pull his gaze back from the spot above Namine's left shoulder. He gave her a small, tight smile as he pushed himself away from the wall, settling his backpack more firmly over his right shoulder.

"Yeah," he said, trying to sound reassuring. He turned and fell in step beside her. "Bad day."

Namine didn't reply, but she slipped one thin arm through his, giving him a soft squeeze. Roxas managed to give her a genuine smile as they left the school behind.

He knew Namine wouldn't question him, wouldn't push him to talk. Because Namine understood. She felt that same hollow ache in her own chest sometimes, that sense that she wasn't quite complete.

She poured those feelings out in oil, watercolor, charcoal – any and every medium, she used them all. She was an amazing artist, but her works always tugged at Roxas's heart and made him want to cry.

No matter how bright the colors, how uplifting the image, there was something about her works that was full of melancholy longing. He'd told her that once. She'd smiled sadly and given him a soft kiss on the cheek, murmuring something about him knowing her too well. They'd never spoken about it again.

He hadn't had the courage to ask if she ever dreamed.

Roxas couldn't pinpoint the exact date the troubling dreams had begun, but it had been sometime during the year he'd turned ten. Seven years. Seven years of waking to muffled sobs and plaintive cries that he only recognized as his own after the first few seconds of consciousness.

He could never remember, once he was awake, what exactly the dream had been about. He would lie on his back, tracing patterns through the shadows on his ceiling, trying to recall even a single detail. But the images always fled faster than he could follow them, leaving only that all-too-familiar ache pressing down on his chest.

"Oh!"

The soft cry drew Roxas out of his musings. Looking up, he quickly saw the cause of Namine's excitement. They were in the middle of Hollow Bastion's shopping district – they were currently standing in front of a children's toy store, where a large stuffed…thing?

Roxas blinked at the stuffed apparition in the storefront's window. He wasn't sure what it was supposed to be. It was about a foot tall, black, with a round body and oversized feet. Antenna protruded from a round head and yellow glassy eyes stared sightlessly out at the milling crowds. Small poseable arms hung limply at its sides.

Roxas blinked again, trying to repress the smirk that was tugging at his lips. Whatever it was, it was weird, even for Namine. She was clearly enamored of it – she'd slipped her arm out of his and was pressing one pale hand to the glass, a small, silly smile on her lips.

Roxas grabbed her elbow, steering her away from the window and toward the store's door. Namine gasped, twisting in his grip as she realized where he was headed.

"Roxas, no –!"

He ignored her protests, knowing she really did want a closer look at the thing – he could see it in the way she bit at her lip, clearly torn between wrenching her arm away from him and letting him continue to pull her along.

Roxas guided her through the door, keeping his grip on her elbow as he steered her through the other customers and back to the huge display of the stuffed monstrosities. Namine sighed happily as she stepped forward, his hand falling away from her arm.

Roxas let her stand and swoon, or whatever it was she was doing. He wandered down one of the long aisles, confident she'd find him when she was ready to leave. There was a small, yapping dog doing flips on one of the display shelves. Roxas pulled it down with a grimace, searching for the 'off' switch – that yapping was really annoying.

His mind wandered as he turned the toy over in his hands – the damn thing didn't seem to _have_ an 'off' switch. He'd seen a few others, over the years, that he suspected felt the same sense of incompleteness.

There had been a willowy blonde on the subway. She'd pulled a switchblade on some idiot dumb enough to try and cop a feel. The unlucky perv had gotten off at the next stop, pale and shaking. She'd fixed Roxas with a cruel smirk when she saw him watching her, but it hadn't been enough to distract him from the emptiness in her eyes.

There was the blue-eyed guitarist, more often than not set up on the street corner Roxas passed every day on his way to school. The musician had a face meant to smile, but his goofy grins and infectious laughter couldn't disguise the occasional lost gaze he would fix on the people walking past him, as if searching among them for what he was missing.

Roxas always dropped some money into the guy's open case, and they were on nodding terms with one another, but he doubted it would ever progress any further than that. They recognized the same hollow ache in each other, and they both knew the other wasn't what they needed to fill it.

"What are you doing to that dog?"

Roxas started and glanced over at Namine guiltily. He'd been _thinking_ of dismembering the stuffed toy and smashing the sound box that was producing that high-pitched yipping.

Namine was holding one of the black bugs under her arm, wedged on top of her notebooks. Roxas raised an eyebrow.

"You actually bought one of those things?" he asked incredulously, placing the unharmed toy back on the display shelf. Namine's face split into a gentle grin as she hugged the black thing closer to her.

"Isn't it cute?" she sighed happily. Roxas's eyebrow traveled a little higher. "Cute" was not the first word that sprang to his mind, but he gave a small nod, shifting the strap of his backpack a little higher on his shoulder.

"Sure," he said noncommittally. Namine made a face at him, wrinkling her nose at his lack of enthusiasm.

"It _is_ cute," she insisted, grabbing it by the neck and holding it out for him to inspect. Roxas gently batted it back at her, moving past her and up the aisle.

"I'll take your word for it," he grinned. Namine tucked the bug back under her arm and caught up with him, linking her free arm with his. There was a gentle smile on her lips.

"Thanks for dragging me in here, Roxas," she said quietly. Roxas shrugged, bumping her shoulder with his.

They threaded their way through the other customers and left the store in silence.

"Hey, Roxas! Namine!"

Their heads swiveled in the direction from which the shout had come. Pence and Olette were making their way through the jostling crowds toward them. Olette was waving cheerfully. Pence couldn't wave – he was weighed down under at least four boxes and three bags. Olette had somehow convinced him to take her shopping again.

Roxas stepped forward, disentangling his arm from Namine's, and took the top two boxes from the pile his friend was currently trying to keep his grip on. Pence flashed him a smile of embarrassed thanks.

Olette descended on Namine, drawing her pale friend into a gentle hug. She stepped back, grasping Namine's free hand, green eyes widening at the sight of the black monstrosity tucked under her arm.

Roxas turned back to Pence and rolled his eyes in apology – Olette would probably now insist on entering the toy store. The two girls were quickly involved in a heated discussion of just how cute the black bug apparently was – Roxas nudged Pence and the two of them moved a little farther away.

"How'd she get you this time?" Roxas asked, grinning. Pence flushed and looked at his feet. Well, he tried to look at his feet – Olette's boxes and bags interrupted his view.

"She said she only needed one thing," he muttered good-naturedly. Roxas smirked.

"When does Olette _ever_ need just one thing?" he chuckled. Pence ducked his head, then shrugged.

"Never," he admitted, grinning.

"Guys!"

Olette was gesturing at them, clearly wanting Roxas and Pence to rejoin them. Carefully balancing packages, they moved back toward the two girls. Roxas shifted his grip on the boxes cautiously, his eyes wandering down the crowded street –

Roxas froze, Olette's packages falling from his suddenly senseless fingers. He didn't hear Olette's cry of distress or the complaints of the people around him. His eyes were fixed on a head of flaming hair on the other side of the street, two blocks down from where he was standing.

His mouth was suddenly dry and his heart was hammering in his chest. Without understanding why, Roxas took a hesitant step forward, then another. Before he knew it, he was sprinting, deaf to the confused cries of his friends.

He shoved his way through the crowds desperately, not understanding the urgency with which he was running, driven forward by the primal voice screaming in his head to _move_, to catch the redhead before – before…

Before what?

A small part of Roxas's brain wondered detachedly what the hell was wrong with him. So the guy had red hair. So what? He'd seen red hair before, for crying out loud. But that voice was pounding through him insistently, and he was powerless to resist it.

The owner of the red hair was walking at a brisk pace, head bobbing gently to an unheard rhythm. He was too far away for Roxas to make out more than that he was wearing a dark leather trench coat and had a book bag slung over his right shoulder.

Roxas put on a burst of speed and closed the distance between them to half a block. He was so close, the guy was just across the street – he pulled up short at the warning honk that sounded a second before a car flew past him, so close the side-view mirror clipped him.

Roxas staggered back, clutching his arm. He knew he'd have an ugly bruise by the morning, but the pain didn't seem to register properly – all that was important were those fiery spikes disappearing as the guy descended to the subway.

Roxas waited impatiently for the light to change, clutching his throbbing arm to his side. He flew across the street and almost tripped in his haste to get down the subway stairs. The small, sane corner of his brain let him know he was going to kill himself before he caught up with the redhead, but reason could not override Roxas's bizarre state of panic.

He waited impatiently at the turnstile, frowning so fiercely that a few people shied away from him. He shoved his way through the crowd, eyes seeking those red spikes desperately.

_There_.

The guy was on the opposite platform, his face turned away from Roxas, speaking to someone behind him. Roxas fought the debilitating urge to jump down onto the tracks.

With something like desperation, he studied the redhead. All he could see was the sweep of one ear – studded with silver, sporting the ear bud of an iPod – and the curve of one pale cheek. He couldn't see the guy's face at all.

Roxas felt slightly foolish as his adrenaline began to ebb. He'd torn after a complete stranger for almost five blocks. That primal scream was still tearing through him, but as he felt the platform vibrate in anticipation of the appearance of the approaching train, its cries seemed less important.

The train pulled up to the redhead's platform, brakes protesting shrilly. Roxas could only watch dully as the surge of people exiting the cars clashed with those trying to board. He couldn't even see where the stranger was sitting.

Roxas watched the train pull away silently, wondering why he felt so cheated.


	2. Struggle

(A/N): Ugh, this chapter gave me so much trouble - there was a moment of blind panic when I thought it had been completely deleted, there were issues with it saving properly... I'm pretty sure my brain exploded at least once before it was all over. I hope you enjoy it, and reviews help me believe it was worth all the drama.

Disclaimer: Yeah, still don't own the characters. Not for lack of trying on my part, of course.

Struggle

That night Roxas dreamed of dancing flames and eyes such an intense shade of green it almost hurt to look into them. He felt flashes of a friendship that had formed and flourished where all logic said such a thing was impossible – Nobodies couldn't care enough to form such attachments.

Then there were words, harsh and unyielding, a battle that had left both of them reeling, Keyblades (_what?_) and a Keybearer (_who?_) that filled him with fear and loathing – and then, for a long time, there was nothing; he was drifting somewhere dark and quiet, detached from the rest of the world(s).

And suddenly that familiar smirk, that _person_ was there again, but there was pain and sorrow and Roxas was _screaming_ but no one could hear him pouring out his grief and denial as those vivid green eyes closed for the last time –

Roxas bolted upright, throat straining to release the cries building within him. He bit back the screams with effort, running an angry hand over the tears spilling from his eyes.

"Roxas?"

Roxas squinted against the light that flooded the room as his door was flung open. His older half-brother was silhouetted against the hall light, blond spikes crushed and distorted by the tossings and turnings of an uneasy sleep.

"You were screaming," Cloud said softly. Roxas winced and looked away from his brother, scowling. He could feel Cloud looking at him, waiting for an answer.

"Bad dream," he muttered. Cloud hesitated, and Roxas thought he might be getting ready to say something, but the blond shrugged and began to pull the door closed.

"All right," he said tiredly. "Try to keep it down – I've got work tomorrow." He paused, squinting at the watch around his wrist. "Today," he groaned. Roxas flushed guiltily.

"Sorry," he mumbled. Cloud grunted as he pulled Roxas's door closed, and Roxas could hear him stumble back down the hall to his own room.

Roxas fell back onto his pillow, breath escaping in one harsh sigh. He closed his eyes, but opened them again almost immediately. He knew he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep any time soon. He dragged himself back to a sitting position, cradling his head in his hands.

For the first time, images from his dream had followed him into the waking world, and Roxas couldn't make any sense of them. Keyblades? Keybearer? And that word, swirling through each image, tainting every remembered impression: _Nobody_. That word caused a cold sense of dread to curl in Roxas's stomach, but he had no idea _why_.

Roxas scowled as he dragged his fingers through his hair. The thing he couldn't make any sense out of was that he thought he remembered _Sora_ being in there somewhere – associated with one of those strange words, Keybearer. And he had _hated_ him.

Which didn't make _any_ sense.

Roxas liked his cousin, in more than a "we're-relatives-so-we-have-to-get-along-at-reunions" type of way. Sora was one of those rare people you couldn't _help_ but like, and he was one of Roxas's favorite relatives. He couldn't fathom hating him.

Growling in frustration, Roxas pushed himself off the bed and began rummaging for his cell phone. Sora lived in Destiny Islands; the time difference meant Roxas would only be calling him at – Roxas swept an eye over the glowing numerals of his clock – one in the morning. Roxas winced.

But he had to talk to Sora.

Finally extracting the phone from the depths of his book bag, Roxas keyed in Sora's cell phone number rapidly, not having to scroll through his phone's memory. Sora's phone began to ring on the other end of the line.

Moving back to the bed, managing to only stub his toe once in the dark, Roxas slid beneath the covers and leaned back against his headboard, waiting for Sora to pick up.

"H'llo?"

The brunette's voice was barely coherent as he mumbled sleepily into the receiver, and Roxas felt a sharp stab of guilt for waking his cousin.

"Hey Sora, it's Roxas," he said quietly, not wanting Cloud to hear him.

"Roxas? What time is it?"

The drowsiness in Sora's voice was gradually wearing off, but while he didn't sound angry, there was a hint of petulance in the younger boy's voice that made Roxas wince guiltily.

"It's, uh, a little after three here," he said sheepishly. "I guess that makes it about one over there." Sora groaned and Roxas heard him shift positions.

"What are you doing calling this late?" he asked sleepily. "I've got class in the morning. _You've_ got class in the morning." He yawned loudly, but Roxas heard his breath hitch halfway through. When he spoke again, his voice was laced with concern. "Is something wrong? Are you ok?"

Roxas winced again, feeling his guilt growing. Great, now Sora thought he was in trouble…

"No, no, everything's fine," he whispered hastily. "Nothing, you know, bad's happened. I just…" He trailed off, knowing how foolish he would sound if he blurted out that he had had a bad dream.

"Did we ever fight?" he asked at last.

"What?" Sora's voice held nothing but confusion, but Roxas ignored him and plowed on.

"When we were little," he continued, staring at his sheets. "Did we ever fight or anything? I mean, I can't remember us ever not getting along – can you?"

"What are you talking about?" Sora mumbled, and Roxas could hear the sheets being pushed away as his cousin sat up in bed.

"I just…" Roxas trailed off again, not sure how to get at the heart of what he wanted to know.

"Do you ever dream?" he blurted out. He wanted to snatch the question back the moment it left his mouth, but it was too late, so he held his breath, waiting for Sora's reply.

The brunette grew still and silent on the other end of the line, and Roxas knew his answer before he gave it.

"Yeah," Sora said softly. "All the time. People I don't know, but I _do_, you know? Things I don't understand – I see Riku and Kairi a lot…" His voice trailed off uncertainly and he gave a small laugh. "It's weird, huh?" he asked, and Roxas could almost see the soft smile on his face.

"Yeah," he said, his mouth dry. "It's weird."

"You sure you're ok?" Sora asked, trying to stifle a yawn. Roxas couldn't help grinning into the receiver.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "Sorry I called so late." Sora hummed a response at him – Roxas could tell the brunette was fighting to stay awake, so he said good-bye and hung up without further conversation.

Flipping the phone closed, Roxas slid further underneath the covers, wincing as he put too much weight on his bruised arm. Riku and Kairi – he'd met them a few times when he'd flown out to visit Sora and his family. Sora was always happy, but when he was around those two he positively _glowed_.

So, if Sora dreamed about Riku and Kairi, who was he dreaming about? The question danced around the edges of his mind until he slipped back into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Rox, I won't tell you again – get _up_. **_Now_**."

Roxas groaned and buried his face in the pillow, trying to ignore Cloud's exasperated voice. The older Strife sibling marched into the room, took hold of Roxas's sheets, and dragged them off the boy, piling them at the bottom of the bed.

"Hey!"

Roxas's yelp was part indignation, part involuntary squeal as the cold air invaded the warm cocoon he'd built around himself. He pulled himself upright with a groan, curling his legs to his chest as he tried to preserve his body heat, which was rapidly siphoning off into the air.

"Now!" Cloud snapped, tapping his wristwatch. "If you're tardy one more time you'll get detention." He turned on his heel and stalked back to the door. "If you're not in the kitchen in five minutes, I'm eating your breakfast," he called over his shoulder.

Roxas muttered a few incomprehensible words under his breath as he pushed his hair out of his face, groping blindly for the sweatshirt hanging from his desk chair. He managed to snag it without pulling the chair over, and he stifled a yawn as he dragged the heavy fabric over his head. Wiping the sleep out of his eyes, he stumbled down the short hall and into the kitchen.

Cloud was banging the dishes onto the small table with more force than was strictly necessary – he stopped when he saw that Roxas had actually managed to pull himself out of bed. He shoved a bowl and a box of cereal at Roxas with a scowl before leaning against the counter and pouring a bowl of cereal for himself.

Roxas settled at the table, yawning widely as he reached for the cornflakes.

"So are you going to tell me about it?" Cloud asked evenly. Roxas only hesitated for a second before he began to pour his cereal.

"No," he said flatly. He saw his half-brother's scowl deepen as Cloud brought a spoonful of cornflakes to his mouth with a calm, deliberate motion that Roxas was overly familiar with – Cloud was annoyed with him, but unwilling to push Roxas to discuss private matters.

Hunching his shoulders irritably, Roxas concentrated on his cereal bowl. He looked up when he heard Cloud set his empty bowl in the sink. Cloud turned back to face him.

"I'm going to be working late," he said, his tone carefully neutral. "Leave a note if you go out before I get home, or call if you're going to be later than six." He cast an eye over the dishes that were rapidly taking over the sink. "Do the dishes whenever you get home," he added.

Roxas bit back the automatic protest that rose to his lips, shoving a spoonful of cereal into his mouth to silence himself. He nodded once, then gave a small wave as Cloud left the kitchen. When he was sure his half-brother had left the apartment, he rose and poured the rest of his cereal down the garbage disposal. Cloud would've complained about the waste, but Roxas's appetite had deserted him.

Casting a glance at the clock hanging on the wall, Roxas groaned when he realized he only had twenty minutes in which to get to school.

After a frantic shower, scramble for clothes, and full-out sprint for the school, Roxas threw himself into his seat, running his fingers through his hair, trying to make it lie in some semblance of order. He jumped when someone placed a hand gently around his bruised arm.

"Roxas?"

Roxas took a deep breath, trying not to wince as the small fingers pressed into his inflamed flesh. Turning in his seat, he smiled thinly at Namine. She was studying him intently, expression grave.

"Are you all right?"

Roxas tried to force his expression into something halfway reassuring. He'd called Namine and apologized when he'd returned home, but he hadn't felt up to trying to explain the bizarre panic that had overcome him when he'd laid eyes on a complete stranger.

"Yeah," he murmured, taking her hand from his arm and giving it a squeeze. "I'm fine. It was just – it was bizarre." Namine drew her hand back, returning to the sketch she had been working on when Roxas entered the classroom.

"Tell me about it later?" she asked quietly, her eyes trained on her sketchbook. Roxas sighed heavily, running his fingers through his hair in one last futile effort to make it lie flat.

"I'll try," he muttered. He knew Namine would never doubt what he told her, but the whole thing was still too fresh in his mind – it was starting to mingle with the images from his dream, and he was beginning to wonder if the whole thing hadn't been some sort of temporary delirium brought on by stress.

"Roxas! What _happened_ yesterday?" Olette dropped her books on her desk and hurried to Roxas's side, eyes wide with concern. She laid one hand against Roxas's forehead, laying the other over her own for comparison. "You had us worried sick – we didn't know where you went or –"

"The bell rang five minutes ago. Please take your seats." Miss Gainsborough's voice, though quiet, cut through the students' din easily, and Olette reluctantly returned to her seat. Roxas remained silent while Miss Gainsborough took attendance, idly shuffling through his calculus notes, not really seeing them. He jumped out of his seat in surprise when the bell rang – feeling awkward and self-conscious, he gathered up his books and swept out of the classroom with a hasty promise to speak to Olette at lunch.

He took precautions, as best he was able, against people ramming into his injured arm, but by the time he reached his next class he was in need of some very large, fast-acting painkillers. Dropping his books onto his desk with a scowl, Roxas considered asking to be excused to visit the nurse.

All thoughts of his discomfort fled when Hayner entered the classroom – his friend was still visibly pale, with dark, bluish-black rings under his eyes and a gray tinge to his lips. Even his hair seemed despondent, refusing to hold its usual spiky style. Roxas wasn't alone in staring as Hayner shuffled across the classroom and collapsed into his seat.

Leaning over, Roxas peered into the other boy's face with concern. "What the hell are you doing here?" he whispered fiercely. "You look like you got hit by a truck. _Twice_. Why didn't you stay home?" Hayner only blinked at him for a minute, swaying slightly in his seat.

"Seifer challenged me to a Struggle match," he finally muttered, resting his head in his hands. "We're supposed to fight after school today."

"_What_?!"

The entire class turned and stared at his outburst. The teacher cleared his throat irritably.

"Mr. Strife, is there anything you would like to share with the rest of the class?" he asked in a cross tone. Roxas felt the warmth spreading across his face, but he managed to answer in a choked voice.

"No, sir."

The teacher glared at him for another second, then turned his attention back to the board, completing the formula scrawled across it. Roxas waited until the rest of the class had gone back to ignoring them before he leaned over Hayner again.

"You came in just for that? You _idiot_, what the hell were you thinking?" Hayner winced, massaging his temples.

"Don't give me that," he hissed. "There's no way I'm going to not show up and let that bastard go on about how I chickened out."

"But – "

The teacher whirled around, twin spots of hectic color blazing on his cheeks. "_Mr._ Strife, if I hear one more word out of you for the rest of my class, I will march you to the principal's office myself. Now _be quiet_."

Roxas clenched his teeth together in an unsuccessful imitation of a grin. "Yes, sir," he grated, doing his best to ignore the snickers from his fellow classmates. Slouching low in his seat, he shot Hayner a poisonous glare, but his friend was ignoring him, laying across his desk, head pillowed in the crook of his elbow.

The rest of the morning passed quickly – he spent the classes he shared with Hayner trying to convince his friend to give up on the Struggle match and go home, and Hayner spent his time dozing through the same classes and ignoring Roxas's arguments. Hayner's presence dominated the conversation at lunch; Olette fussed over his appearance and tried to get him to drink three cups of water, her concern over Roxas's disappearance the day before temporarily forgotten. Pence and Namine added their voices to the protest over the Struggle match, but Hayner wouldn't be persuaded against his set course of action.

"Well, at _least_ let us come with you!" Olette finally cried, crushing the paper cup in exasperation. Hayner glanced at her briefly before he put his head back in his hands.

"You have your interview today," he muttered. "Remember?" Olette paused, her face paling slightly.

"That-it-I – " She took a deep, steadying breath. "I – I'll skip it," she whispered at last.

"No," Hayner snapped immediately. "You've been waiting months for this. If you skip your admissions interview, you're screwed." His voice gentled when Olette's face fell. "Look, just – just take Pence with you like you planned, ok? Roxas'll come with me, all right?"

Olette looked at Roxas hopefully. Roxas scowled, but he gave a curt nod. "Yeah, I'll go with him," he grumbled. Olette's face broke into a relieved smile; she impulsively hugged Hayner, then jumped up and threw her arms around Roxas's shoulders.

Namine reached out and placed a hand against Hayner's clammy cheek. "I'll go too," she said quietly. Hayner flashed her a weak smile.

"Thanks," he murmured, brushing her hand away as his head sank to the table. Pence and Olette glanced at each other, then at Namine and Roxas.

"You'll call us and let us know what happens, right?" Pence asked, concern evident in his voice. Namine nodded.

"Of course."

* * *

Roxas settled his backpack on the ground and studied Hayner worriedly. His breathing was labored and his fever seemed to be spiking – he was covered in sweat, which Roxas had little doubt felt like ice in the chilly air. Namine slipped her arm through Roxas's as Seifer and his gang rounded the corner.

Hayner pushed himself away from the wall, swaying slightly. Seifer's brows lowered as he took in Hayner's state.

"What happened to you?" he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

"He's _sick_," Roxas spit out, glaring at Seifer and his three lackeys. Vivi fidgeted uncomfortably, pulling his cap down even lower over his face. Fuu simply stared impassively, but Rai leaned forward to get a better look at Hayner's wan face.

"He really doesn't look too good, Seifer, y'know?" he said quietly, glancing at Seifer quickly.

"No challenge," Fuu said shortly.

Seifer glanced between Fuu and Rai, then pulled a struggle bat out of the bag slung over his shoulder. Without a word, he tossed it at Hayner. Hayner tried to catch it, but he only managed to fumble it before it slipped through his fingers and hit the ground. Namine slipped her arm out of Roxas's and moved to Hayner's side, bracing a hand against his shoulder to keep him upright. Seifer's face screwed into an expression of contempt.

"Oh, this is just _pathetic_," he groaned. "How the hell are we supposed to have a decent match with the shape you're in?" Roxas pushed himself away from the wall, his hands clenching into fists.

"Well if you hadn't _challenged_ him while he was still _sick_, maybe you wouldn't _have_ this problem," he snarled. Seifer glanced over at him, expression unreadable.

"I challenged him a _week_ ago," he spit back. Rai and Fuu drew closer to him, and Roxas realized too late that Seifer resented the implication that he would try to take advantage of Hayner's illness.

"Stop it, you guys." Namine's voice drew their attention back to Hayner, who was leaning heavily on the blonde girl. Namine glanced over at Roxas. "He needs to go home. Now."

With one last glare at Seifer, Roxas bent to retrieve his backpack from the ground. One look at Hayner and he grabbed his backpack too, then he slipped to Hayner's other side and slid his friend's arm around his shoulders.

Seifer stepped forward and retrieved the forgotten struggle bat. He rested it against his shoulder as he surveyed the three friends, his expression mocking. "Make sure he gets plenty of rest," he instructed. "I want him completely healthy when I kick his ass." With one last smirk, he turned and walked away, Vivi and Rai falling into step behind him. Fuu held back for a moment, regarding them coolly.

"Two weeks," she said, then turned to follow her friends.

Roxas turned and looked at Namine, raising an eyebrow. Namine shook her head and tightened her grip on Hayner, who had begun to shiver. Without a word, they hailed a taxi and climbed in beside their friend.

Namine gave the driver Hayner's address, then sat back and pulled out her cell phone. Roxas could hear her talking quietly to Pence, pausing occasionally to make wordless, soothing sounds whenever Hayner groaned. Roxas stared out the window, watching the streets flash by.

He felt tired and drained – his arm was beginning to throb and there was a gentle pounding at his temples that threatened to grow into a full-blown headache. He closed his eyes with a sigh and settled his head against the window, enjoying the feel of the cool glass against his skin.

The next thing he was aware of was Namine shaking him awake.

"Roxas – Roxas, we're here." She sat back when she saw that he was awake, turning her attention to Hayner, who had begun to cough – a dry, hacking sound that made Roxas cringe. He helped Namine maneuver their friend out of the taxi. After grabbing their backpacks and asking the driver to wait, they helped Hayner up his front steps.

Namine stepped forward when Hayner's mother answered the bell, answering her questions as she and Roxas settled Hayner on the couch. They declined the offer to stay and visit, slipping back out the front door when Hayner began to cough again and his mom bent over him in concern.

Roxas walked back to the taxi and held the door for Namine. She looked up at him when he didn't join her.

"Aren't you coming?" she asked. Roxas shook his head, a small frown tugging at his lips.

"I think I'll walk," he said, swinging his backpack up onto his shoulder. "It's not that far, and I need to clear my head." Namine regarded him silently for a moment.

"Are you sure you'll be warm enough?" she asked. He grinned.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he assured her. "Really." She gave him a small nod, sitting back and buckling her belt as he closed the door. Roxas stood and watched the taxi pull away, lifting one hand in a wave as it rounded the corner and disappeared.

With a sigh, he turned and began the trek back to his own apartment, hands buried in his jacket pockets. The day was chilly but not uncomfortably so – it would be a shame to miss a chance to enjoy the milder weather before winter truly set in.

Roxas let his mind settle into a comfortable haze as he walked, eyes fixed straight ahead, not really seeing the people around him. His arm was still throbbing dully, but the headache that had threatened to form earlier had dissipated, allowing Roxas to concentrate on nothing more complex than the rhythm of his feet against the pavement.

He was almost to his apartment when he was startled out of his reverie by the sound of a bright, cheerful laugh. Looking up, Roxas saw the café he always passed on his way to school. The blond guitarist was set up outside, instrument hanging from his shoulder as he talked animatedly to someone blocked from Roxas's view. Roxas checked his watch – the guy was usually nowhere to be seen when Roxas was walking home from school, but he was passing the café about an hour later than was usual. Roxas was just beginning to consider dropping some more money into the guy's case when the crowd shifted, allowing Roxas to see whom the musician was speaking to.

For a moment, Roxas forgot how to breathe.

The redhead he had chased so desperately just yesterday was standing there, _right there_, talking with the musician, drawing easy laughter from the other man. He had his back to Roxas, and Roxas could only stand stock-still in the middle of the sidewalk, deaf to the complaints of those who had to step around him, staring at the stranger's back.

The images and sensations from his dream assaulted him, tearing him in so many different directions that he couldn't bring himself to move, convinced that if he did, the spell would break and the stranger would disappear.

The redhead held a cigarette loosely in his fingers, the smoke curling up and away into the cool air. He dropped it to the pavement and ground it under foot as he reached out and clasped the musician's hand. Roxas couldn't hear what they were saying, but the guitarist was smiling widely.

And then the redhead was moving away, further up the street, the musician swinging his guitar back up for his next song, and Roxas was suddenly conscious of the people pressing against him, the irritated mutterings, but the thing that grew and filled his vision, the only thing that _mattered_, was that black-cloaked back disappearing into the crowd.

With a panicked cry, Roxas threw himself into action, once again shoving himself through the crowd, oblivious to the angry cries that followed him, not even feeling the flare of pain when someone clamped down on his bruised arm – he merely tore himself away from the stranger's grip and kept running.

"Wait!" He'd meant to shout, but panic had tightened his throat and his voice came out as a watery croak. The guy was less than half a block away, red spikes once again jerking to unheard music, unaware of the uproar behind him. "Wait!"

With an almost inhuman burst of speed, Roxas closed the distance between them. Without pausing to think, he reached out and grabbed the stranger's arm, trying to spin him around to face him. The redhead tensed at his touch, then tried to pull away, still not looking back at him, but Roxas dug his fingers into the guy's arm and refused to be shaken off.

Roxas stopped walking, forcing the redhead to stop as well. The small, sane corner of his brain was dieing of embarrassment, letting him know he was making a complete and total fool of himself, but Roxas didn't care, he had him, he _finally_ had him and –

Roxas's thoughts derailed as the stranger slowly turned his head. Roxas was too overwhelmed to take in more than that the guy looked extremely pissed – his eyes were narrowed to slits and his lips were twisted into an angry sneer.

Roxas turned his face away for a moment, closing his eyes against the confusing sensations that inundated him. When he looked back up, the expression of anger had completely vanished from the stranger's face – he was looking into Roxas's face intently, unconsciously wrapping a hand around Roxas's arm.

"Do – do I know you?"


	3. Warmth

(A/N): Whee! A (relatively) quick update, and an apology for what will probably be a bit of a wait before another update. My sister and my birthdays occur pretty much one right after the other, and things tend to get a little crazy until they've passed, so my next update may take a while. Reviews are fun!

Disclaimer: Still don't own 'em.

Warmth

Roxas stared at the man, his question echoing in his mind. The reasonable part of his brain was insisting that of course he didn't know him – he'd never laid eyes on him until yesterday. But – but those _eyes_; something deep inside of him was responding, screaming in primal triumph.

The redhead leaned down, bringing his face closer to Roxas's, his eyes drilling into Roxas's own. He brought up his other hand and gripped Roxas's shoulders tightly, almost desperately. Roxas could only stare back silently, his head spinning.

God, those eyes – he'd never realized eyes could be such an intense shade of green. He couldn't help but flinch as his gaze skimmed over the tattoos inked on the man's cheeks – Roxas had debated for weeks about getting any piercings, and this guy had injected _ink_ straight into his _face_.

The redhead blinked at his expression, then smirked and pulled away from Roxas, releasing his shoulders. Roxas regretted the abrupt loss of contact – he was suddenly freezing despite the relatively mild weather and his warm jacket.

"I – I'm sorry," Roxas stammered, feeling himself flush. He suddenly felt like an idiot, and wanted nothing more than to sink into the ground and disappear. "I thought you were someone else." He tried to push around the man, but the redhead's arm snaked out and he caught him in a tight grip. Roxas turned and glared up at the stranger, but the guy was just regarding him with an expression caught somewhere between amusement and exasperation.

"Bullshit," he said easily. Roxas scowled and tried to tug his arm out of the stranger's grasp, but his fingers were like a steel trap. The redhead frowned, tightening his grip marginally. "Knock it off," he snapped. "_You_ crashed into _me_, so the least you could do is not lie to me." Roxas couldn't help the way his lips skinned back from his teeth.

"It's the truth," he snarled. "I don't know you. I'm sorry I grabbed you like that, ok?"

"Hey kid, are you all right?"

They both looked up at the intruding voice – a plump man had paused on the sidewalk next to them, and though he flinched away from the taller man's glare, he stood his ground. "Is this guy bothering you? Do you want me to call anyone?"

"Why don't you mind your damn business?" the redhead snapped, glowering at the man.

"It's fine," Roxas interjected quickly, trying not to wince as the fingers around his arm tightened even further. The redhead glanced down at him, seemingly surprised, then drew his hand back. Roxas fought the urge to massage his arm while the man was still watching them. "It was my fault – I crashed into him and didn't apologize."

The man was still looking at him piercingly, but he fidgeted uncomfortably under the taller man's glare. "You sure?" he asked, flinching slightly when the redhead snorted in annoyance. Roxas flashed what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, really, it's fine," he said. The redhead crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the intruder, and Roxas could see the man wilting under the hostile gaze.

The plump man stared at them for another minute before he shrugged and hurried away, casting a glance back over his shoulder before he rounded the corner and disappeared.

Roxas and the redhead glanced at each other.

"Sorry," Roxas muttered, massaging his arm. "I really don't know why I slammed into you like that, ok?"

"Axel," the stranger said. Roxas felt his breath catch in his throat.

"What?"

"My name," the redhead clarified. "Axel. Sorry 'bout that," he added, gesturing toward Roxas's arm. Roxas shook his head.

"It was my fault," he muttered, shifting the strap of his backpack to rest more comfortably on his shoulder. He looked up to find Axel staring at him expectantly. "What? I said I was sorry, all right?" Axel smirked.

"I introduced myself," he said dryly. "It's your turn." Roxas flushed again.

"Roxas," he said irritably. "My name's Roxas. I really am sorry." He turned and began to walk away, but Axel turned and kept pace with him.

"So, Roxas, do you make a habit out of running people over and then taking off?" he asked sardonically. Roxas stopped again, balling his fists in frustration.

"I _said_ I was _sorry_," he hissed, fighting the urge to punch the taller man.

"You did," Axel acknowledged with a smirk. He reached out and captured Roxas's arm again and began dragging the boy behind him.

"What the hell? Let go!"

Axel ignored him, continuing to pull him along the crowded streets. Roxas ground his teeth in frustration. Everything was happening too fast – he didn't _know _this guy, no matter how violently that voice had ripped through him, but Axel was moving too quickly for him to plant his feet and break his grip.

"If you don't let go, I'm gonna start yelling," he spit out, yanking against Axel's hand for emphasis. Axel glanced back over his shoulder at him, eyebrow raised.

"Relax, kid," he sighed. Roxas bristled, but before he could give voice to his objections, they paused in front of a vendor's stall. Axel released Roxas's wrist, which the blond snatched back, glaring up at the redhead suspiciously. Axel turned toward the stall, gesturing at the menu hanging behind the merchant's head. "Make it up to me. Buy me an early dinner."

Roxas blinked at him. "What? Why the _hell_ should I – " Axel crossed his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes.

"_Look_, kid," he growled, "You keep saying you're sorry, right? Buy me a damn hot dog and we'll call it even." Roxas dragged a hand through his hair, clenching his teeth in frustration. He shot a glance at the girl behind the counter – her expression was politely disinterested, her gaze fixed somewhere above Roxas's head.

"Fine," he grated. "If I buy you food will you leave me alone?" A small part of his brain cried that he didn't _want_ Axel to leave him alone, but he squashed it ruthlessly. Axel just smirked at him.

Turning his back on the infuriating man, Roxas began digging through his pockets with a low oath. Behind him, Axel ordered two – wait, _two_?

Roxas whipped back around to face the redhead. "I said I'd buy you _one_ hot dog," he growled, money fisted in his hand. Axel raised an eyebrow at him as the girl behind the counter paused, finger poised over the register.

"You don't want one?" he asked, sounding slightly surprised. Roxas had already opened his mouth to snap back at him, but the expression on Axel's face made him pause. There was something in his eyes that was unnerving, something Roxas had seen when the redhead had first peered into his face so intently – something that was terrifying in its familiarity.

Roxas closed his eyes, mostly to block out Axel's face. All he wanted was for the man to let him apologize and go home, but in spite of himself, he felt his shoulders relaxing, his scowl easing into a neutral expression.

"Whatever," he groaned, running his free hand over his face. He opened his eyes to find Axel smiling at him as he completed the order. Roxas tried to ignore the way his stomach clenched, elbowing the redhead to the side so he could pay.

Axel moved away from the stall, hot dog in one hand, drink in the other. He glanced over his shoulder at Roxas, who hadn't moved. "You coming?"

Roxas just glared at him for a moment, shoving his change into his pocket irritably. Everything about the situation was wrong – he didn't want to get any more involved than he already was, but he couldn't forget the blinding panic with which he had chased Axel, or the desperate way Axel had clung to him for those few moments.

With a scowl, he grabbed up his own food and drink and followed Axel to a sheltered alcove between two storefronts. Axel swung his book bag to the ground, carefully avoiding spilling his soda, before he settled himself on the low ledge. He looked up at Roxas, rolling his eyes at the glare the younger boy was fixing him with.

"I'm not gonna bite you," he muttered, frowning. Roxas didn't respond, but he dumped his own backpack to the ground and sat down beside the redhead, being sure to leave plenty of space between them.

Axel lifted an eyebrow at him, but mercifully decided to keep his mouth shut. Silence reigned as the two ate. Roxas tried to keep his eyes on the people flowing past, but he couldn't help glancing over at Axel out of the corner of his eye every so often. Axel seemed oblivious to his scrutiny, downing his food with obvious relish.

With a scowl, Roxas turned his eyes back to the pavement, taking a savage bite out of his own hot dog. Beside him, Axel crumbled his napkin in his hand, taking a sip from his soda as he let his eyes fall closed in a contented sigh. Roxas was just beginning to wonder if it would permissible to sneak away when the redhead spoke.

"So, Roxas, why'd you really grab onto me?" Roxas glared down at the sidewalk, refusing to meet the older man's gaze.

"I already told you I don't know," he said tightly, doing his best not to squeeze what was left of his food into paste.

"Is that right?" Axel asked lazily, extracting a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. With a snort, he tapped out a fresh one, one hand dipping back into his pocket for his lighter. Roxas couldn't help glancing up, insides roiling. "You are so full of shit," Axel smirked, eyes reflecting the brief flare as the end of the cigarette caught and he took his first deep drag.

Roxas threw his hot dog to the ground with a strangled cry. He jumped up, rounding on the redhead with something like desperation. "What do you want me to say?" he practically screamed, oblivious to the people who paused at his outburst. "I bought you your damn hot dog – why can't you just leave me alone?!"

Axel just stared back, tilting his head to the side in a contemplative manner. He exhaled a thin plume of smoke and seemed about to say something when he was interrupted by a loud beeping. Cursing softly, he extracted his cell phone from his jeans pocket and silenced the alarm. Bending, he grabbed up his backpack and stood, forcing Roxas to take a step back. Drawing a pen from the outer pocket of his book bag, Axel reached out and captured Roxas's hand before the blond could retreat any further. Roxas began to pull away, but Axel clamped down, his fingers digging into Roxas's wrist with enough force to bruise.

"I've got class," Axel mumbled around the cigarette pinched between his lips. He twisted Roxas's arm carefully and began to write on the back of the blond's hand. "Let me know when you get your shit straight."

He released Roxas's wrist; stepping back, his eyes caught and held Roxas's own and they stared at each other for a timeless second. Then Axel turned away, hoisting his backpack onto his shoulder, disappearing into the crowd without a backward glance. Roxas stared after him for a long time, finally glancing down at the hand Axel had grabbed. A phone number was scrawled across the back of his hand, and Axel's finger marks stood out lividly against his skin.

* * *

Roxas glanced at the dishes piled in the sink, then continued down the hall and into his room. Settling his backpack next to him, he collapsed onto his bed with a sigh. Pushing a stray piece of hair out of his eyes, he began rummaging for his history homework, intent on wiping the episode with Axel out of his mind.

Instead, he found himself staring blankly at the papers spread before him, replaying Axel's words in his head.

"_Let me know when you get your shit straight."_

Roxas lay back with a groan, throwing an arm over his eyes. What the hell was that supposed to mean? He was still puzzling over the redhead's words when he fell asleep.

* * *

_Roxas turned another page, gloved fingers brushing across the paper thoughtfully. The black-clad figure sitting across from him sighed noisily, but Roxas kept his eyes on his book._

"_You're really going?" a familiar voice asked abruptly. Roxas shrugged, tracing the passage he was reading with his fingertip. "Will you tell me before you leave?"_

"_No," Roxas said quietly, turning another page._

"_Why not?"_

"_Would you try to stop me?" Roxas asked, knowing the answer. His friend snorted, and Roxas could hear the exasperation in his voice._

"_Of course I would," he groused. "It's suicide."_

"_That's why I won't tell you." Silence settled around them, but Roxas could feel the redhead looking at him._

"_I'll come after you, you know," his friend said at last. The ghost of a smile flitted across Roxas's face._

"_I know you will," he said softly, turning another page. "But we both know you can't defeat me." He didn't have to look up to know the redhead threw his head back when he laughed._

"_Oh, I don't know," he smirked. "I've never fought for something I really wanted before. I might surprise you."_

"_You'd fight me?" Roxas asked, curious despite himself. "Knowing you couldn't win?"_

"_Are you going to tell me I can't fight for what I want?" The tone was mocking, but Roxas knew the redhead was entirely serious._

"_No," Roxas said. "But I won't come back, even if you defeat me." He paused as something occurred to him. "You realize they'll order you to kill me," he said quietly. There was a pause as the redhead took a deep breath._

"_Yeah," he said softly._

"_Would you do it, if they ordered you to?"_

_His friend moved too quickly for Roxas to react. A black-gloved hand snatched his book away and firm fingers forced his chin up until he was staring into glass-green eyes._

"_I **will** find you," Axel said with a crooked smile. "I know you too well for you to hide from me forever."_

"_You didn't answer my question," Roxas said, raising an eyebrow. Axel bent and captured Roxas's lips in a rough kiss. His fingers tightened around Roxas's jaw as he pulled back._

"_I'd kill you myself before I'd let anyone else do it," he said brusquely. Roxas nodded, a small smile on his lips._

"_I'd prefer that," he sighed. Axel leaned down again, his face pausing mere inches from Roxas's._

"_I will find you again," he said intently. "If I have to wait until the next life to do it."_

"_The Superior says we won't have a next life," Roxas pointed out, reaching up to brush Axel's fingers away._

"_The Superior's full of shit," Axel said dismissively, straightening and drawing his hand back. "You'd trust him over me?" The redhead's familiar smirk flashed across his face. Roxas ran a gloved hand through his hair._

_"Give me back my book," he grouched, frowning. Axel laughed softly as he handed the blond's book back to him. As Roxas tried to find his place, the redhead turned and left the room._

* * *

"Roxas!"

At first Roxas thought the voice at the door had followed him out of his dream – he was convinced that if he opened it he would find Axel standing out in his hall, eyebrow quirked as he asked, "So you got your shit straight yet?"

"Roxas, I told you to do the dishes!"

Recognizing Cloud's voice, Roxas let out a gasp of harsh relief. Scrambling out of his bed, he threw the door open and threw his arms around his half-brother.

"Roxas, what –?" Cloud's voice trailed off in confusion, his arms circling Roxas's shoulders in an awkward hug as the younger boy trembled. Roxas couldn't find the voice to answer as he buried his face in his brother's chest.

Cloud didn't ask any more questions, but Roxas could feel him watching him during dinner. Escaping into his room, Roxas lost himself in homework, and when his eyes finally slid closed, he did not dream.

When he woke the next morning, Axel's phone number was barely legible. Roxas stared at the back of his hand for a long time before he keyed the number into his cell phone. Just in case.

* * *

Hayner wasn't in school again – Pence said the feisty blond had been diagnosed with walking pneumonia and would be out for at least the next week. Roxas nodded distractedly, then jumped when Namine placed a hand on his arm, asking if he felt all right.

When Namine asked him to come over after school, he didn't object. So when he found himself pinned under the unblinking stare of the black _thing_ Namine had bought two days ago, he told himself he didn't have anyone to blame but himself. Still, it was incredibly tempting to turn the thing's face to the wall.

"I can't believe you actually bought that thing," he sighed, leaning back against her shoulder as she ran gentle fingers through his hair. He felt her laugh softly.

"I can't believe you don't like it," she said with mock severity.

"It's weird," Roxas insisted drowsily. Namine just sighed at him, kneading her fingers against his scalp. Closing his eyes, Roxas let his head fall back against Namine's shoulder – the petite blonde wrapped her arms around him and cradled his head silently.

"Roxas?"

"Hm?"

"What's wrong?" Roxas felt himself tense at Namine's quiet question – he sat up abruptly, her arms falling away from him as he turned to look at her. Namine was studying him intently, forehead creased in concern. "You haven't let me do that in years," she said softly. Roxas flushed guiltily.

He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, then shook his head, throat clenching. "It's – I don't even know," he said quietly. Namine opened her arms again, and Roxas leaned back into her, wondering why, when she was so warm, he still felt so cold.

Namine trailed her fingers through his hair again, waiting until she felt him relax against her to speak again. "Does it have anything to do with what happened the other day?" she asked softly, her arms tightening around Roxas's chest when he stiffened.

Roxas considered pulling away again, then sagged against her. "Yeah," he admitted tiredly. "I saw this guy – never saw him before in my life, but I…" He groped for the words to convey what had happened when he'd first laid eyes on Axel. "It was like there this voice _screaming_ in my head, and I just had to catch him," he sighed.

"Did you?" Namine asked, smoothing his hair back from his forehead.

"No," Roxas whispered. "But I saw him again yesterday and – and I've been dreaming about him. I _know_ him, Namine, I'd swear it, but I've never seen him before in my life." Namine tightened her arms around him as he began to shake.

"Cloud knows something's wrong," Roxas managed at last. "But he won't ask."

"He doesn't want to push you," Namine said gently.

"Sometimes I wish he would," Roxas muttered. Namine didn't answer, hugging him to her and planting a gentle kiss on his cheek.

They let the subject die, the conversation turning to neutral topics until Roxas gathered his things and headed back to his own apartment. He slowed as he passed the café, but neither the musician nor Axel were anywhere to be seen. Feeling vaguely let down, Roxas continued on his way.

The next few days were a blur to him – the hours at school melted into one another, and he headed straight home at the end of each day to barricade himself in his room and distract himself with homework. He didn't see Axel. He began taking a different route to school so that he no longer passed the café. He wondered if the blond musician noticed his absence.

His thoughts turned with increasing frequency to Axel's number, which he had copied into his phone's memory. Finally, he plucked up the courage to call it. When he heard Axel's voice on the other end of the line, Roxas felt warm for the first time in days.


	4. Fries, Not Onion Rings

(A/N): Y'know, I'm just gonna quit trying to warn you guys when I think a chapter might take a while, because I always wind up proving myself wrong. Geez. Anyway, in the spirit of knowing we'll soon have waaay too many birthday leftovers, reviewers shall get cake!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I am only playing with them until I decide to give them back to Squeenix and Disney. Whenever that may be.

Fries, Not Onion Rings

Roxas watched with something approaching awe as Axel polished off his second burger and immediately reached for the third. He'd scoffed internally when Axel had placed the order, but it seemed the redhead was going to have no trouble finishing his meal. Roxas took a bite of his own burger, feeling somehow foolish for only having eaten half of it.

Axel glanced up at him, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I skipped breakfast." He took another hungry bite, then gestured toward Roxas's untouched fries. "Are you gonna eat those?"

Roxas shoved the fries at Axel, who grunted in thanks. Roxas just watched him silently. He didn't know what he'd expected when he'd agreed to meet the redhead, but it certainly hadn't been this.

Axel hadn't said a word about what had happened between them. Instead, he'd dragged Roxas into the nearest fast food restaurant as soon as Roxas had walked up to him, claiming he was starving. Which, apparently, had been true.

Axel finished his burger and sat back, stretching. He noticed Roxas watching him and flashed a crooked smile. "What?"

Roxas shook his head. "Nothing," he muttered. Axel ran a hand through his hair, sighing.

"Don't start that shit again," he grumbled crossly. Roxas narrowed his eyes at him, but Axel leaned forward and jabbed a finger under his nose. "If you even _try_ I will get up and leave right now," he snapped.

Roxas bit back the retort that sprang to his lips, swallowing harshly. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "This – this whole thing…" He waved a hand in a vague circle, eyes resting somewhere beyond Axel's right shoulder. "It's – it's just weird, ok?"

Axel stared at him intently for a second, then sat back, crossing his arms over his chest. "Ok," he smirked. "I can agree with that. But," he added, quirking an eyebrow at the blond, "_you_ called _me_, so don't sit there and sulk."

Roxas flushed and reached for his burger to cover his discomfort. _Yes_, he'd called Axel and set up a place and time to meet, and _yes_, he had felt more at peace than he had for days after talking to the redhead, but – but damn it, Axel was far too comfortable about the entire situation. Roxas glanced up and was mildly disconcerted to find Axel staring at him.

"What are you doing?" he asked uncomfortably. Axel shrugged.

"Watching you," he said, grinning. Roxas began to choke as he swallowed a chunk of hamburger whole. Eyes widening in alarm, Axel began to push himself out of his seat, but before he could stand, a hand slapped Roxas on the back violently. The force of the blow rocked Roxas forward, and the offending piece of meat flew out of his throat and back onto the table.

Wheezing, wiping the tears out of his eyes, Roxas concentrated on trying to draw a deep breath until firm fingers wrapped around his jaw and forced his chin up. For a second he froze, then he tried to pull away, but the fingers around his jaw tightened, so he squeezed his eyes shut, panicked thoughts running in circles around his mind.

"Jesus, Axel, what'd you do to him?"

Roxas's eyes flew open at the unfamiliar voice, and he was both immeasurably relieved and disappointed when he found the eyes he was staring up at were blue, not green. His eyes widened a second later as recognition sank in and he jerked his chin out of the blonde's grip, wondering uneasily if she had any knives tucked away on her today.

"Hey!" the girl from the subway snapped. "Is that any way to thank me for saving your miserable life?"

"Relax, Larxene," Axel grumbled. "You probably knocked the wind out of him." The redhead leaned across the table, long fingers closing around Roxas's wrist. "You ok? Roxas?"

Tearing his eyes away from the intimidating woman standing over him and scowling, Roxas nodded shakily. "Yeah, I'm fine," he muttered, his voice rasping slightly.

"Aw, well isn't this just too sweet?" Larxene snickered, pressing a finger to her lips and tilting her head to the side. Axel scowled and dropped Roxas's wrist.

"Stuff it, Larxene," he muttered darkly. Roxas took a sip of his soda, eyes darting between Axel and Larxene. Noticing the direction of his gaze, Axel waved a hand in Larxene's direction. "Roxas, this is Larxene. Larxene, Roxas."

Larxene smiled widely, but Roxas didn't miss the hard glint in her eyes as she extended her hand. Roxas shook it tentatively.

"I, uh, don't suppose you remember me," he said uneasily. Larxene's brows creased as she leaned down to get a better look at his face.

"You don't look familiar," she murmured, almost to herself. "Have I threatened you before?" Axel snorted. Roxas glanced at him quickly and was mildly annoyed to find him nibbling on his fries, watching them with unconcealed amusement.

"No, no – nothing like that," Roxas hastily assured her. "I was, uh, on the subway with you once. The day you had to, um, _discourage_ that guy." Larxene examined him closely for another minute before she straightened, grinning.

"That was you?" she chuckled. She tilted her head to the side, studying him carefully. "Yeah, I guess it was," she continued. "You've grown or something, kid. Sorry I didn't recognize you."

"What's this about some guy?" Axel cut in, eyebrows raised. "Why didn't I hear anything about this?" Larxene smoothed her hair out of her face, smirking.

"I handled it," she said dismissively. Axel's eyebrows rose a little higher.

"I bet," he scoffed, finishing off his fries. "So what are you doing out here, Larxene?"

The blonde shrugged. "Came in for some food," she replied. "Saw that head of hair" – it was Roxas's turn to snort as Larxene pointed at Axel's spikes – "and figured I'd come over and say hello."

"Order number 387 – 387, your food is ready." A harried-looking worker was leaning over the counter and glancing around wildly with a tray in his hands, visor slipping and coming to rest over his eyes.

"That's me," Larxene commented cheerfully. "You boys mind if I join you?" Axel shrugged, glancing over at Roxas.

"We're about done," he said, pointing at the empty wrappers littered across the table. Larxene shrugged, turning and heading back toward the counter.

"Maybe next time," she said over her shoulder. "See you around, kid."

Axel began gathering the garbage onto the tray, pausing when he glanced up and caught Roxas watching him. "What?"

"Who's she?" Roxas asked, trying not to sound as confused as he felt. Axel shrugged.

"Larxene," he said, as if that explained everything. "We've got a couple classes together." His brows settled over his eyes in concern. "How's your throat, by the way?"

Roxas scowled as he remembered why he'd begun choking in the first place. "What the hell did you mean, you were watching me?" he grumbled crossly. Axel grinned.

"What? It's what I was doing. Can't very well tell you to cut the bullshit and then turn around and lie to you, can I?" he said flippantly, gathering the last of the garbage onto the tray.

"What the hell is this shit?" an outraged voice snapped from the direction of the counter. Axel and Roxas glanced over to find Larxene waving her food under an employee's nose, the unfortunate burger-flipper looking like he was considering fleeing out the back door. "I said _no onions_, damn it. And I wanted fries! Fries, **_not onion rings_**!"

Axel chuckled as he pushed himself up from his chair, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "Sadistic bitch." Roxas rose and followed him out of the restaurant, depositing their trash in the receptacle by the door on the way. Once they were outside, Axel dug his cigarettes out of his pocket.

"So, Roxas," he said calmly. "I never asked what you wanted on the phone." Roxas could see him watching him out of the corner of his eye as he inclined his head and lit a cigarette.

The "I don't know," was already on his lips when Roxas remembered the way Axel had snapped at him. Swallowing the words, he glanced down at his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets. Above him, Axel sighed.

"All right," he said tiredly. "I guess I'll see you around, then." Roxas shot a hand out and grabbed his arm roughly.

"Just wait a damn minute," he snapped furiously, glaring up at the redhead. "You told me not to lie, so I'm trying to figure out the truth." Axel blinked down at him, then his face split into a wide grin.

"And finally, some honesty!" he cried, throwing his free arm in the air melodramatically. Roxas scowled up at him, drawing his hand back.

"Could you _try_ not to be an ass?" he asked sourly. Axel smirked at him, flicking the ash off the end of his cigarette. Roxas sighed. Apparently that answered _that_ question. Roxas pulled his fingers through his hair and tried to order his thoughts. "I guess I just want to get to know you a little better," he said slowly.

Axel grinned. "Well then you should've just asked," he chided, turning and beginning to walk down the sidewalk. He glanced back over his shoulder at Roxas. "You coming?" Roxas rolled his eyes, then hurried to catch up.

* * *

"I got in!" Olette sang happily, throwing her arms around Pence's neck and smiling jubilantly. "Thank you _so_ much for taking me, Pence!"

Pence blushed furiously, but he wrapped his arms around Olette and hugged her back. "Congratulations!" he cheered. Namine clapped her hands and laughed while Roxas grinned from ear to ear.

"It's almost impossible to get into RGU," he managed before Olette threw herself at him, wrapping him and Namine into a hug.

"I know!" Olette cried happily, tightening her arm around Roxas's neck until he squawked in protest. Releasing him, she wrapped both arms around Namine. "I can't believe I got in! The best part is it's only an hour by train!" She finally sat back and surveyed the table with a wide grin. "We have to celebrate! Why don't you guys come over after school and I'll make you my famous peanut brittle? We'll eat junk food and watch movies until we can't see straight!"

Pence and Namine agreed quickly, but Roxas bit the inside of his cheek. "I, uh – I can't, Olette. Not today. I'm sorry," he mumbled uncomfortably. "I'm meeting someone after school." Olette looked hurt for a second, but then her eyes lit up with a mischievous smile.

"You have a date?" she asked slyly. Pence turned and looked at him, a small smile curling the edges of his lips, but Namine was regarding him silently, biting her lower lip. Roxas snorted.

"No," he said flatly. "Definitely not a date." Olette just smiled at him before she turned and began whispering to Pence. Pence grinned widely, glancing at Roxas. Roxas scowled at him until Namine leaned over and placed a hand on his wrist.

"Are you seeing Axel again?" she asked softly. Roxas nodded.

"Yeah," he whispered. He'd seen the redhead three times since the restaurant. In the course of his habitually rambling conversation, he'd learned that Axel was twenty years old and enrolled part time at the local community college, and that he held a part-time job and rented an apartment with a roommate – "that bastard" – that had skipped out on him early last month.

Namine looked like she wanted to say something, but the bell rang and she drew her hand back with a small smile. "Tell me about it later?" she asked softly. Roxas grinned at her.

"Yeah," he said.

The rest of the day passed quickly. When the final bell rang, Roxas shoved the requisite books and papers into his backpack and slammed his locker – turning, he found Namine standing behind him, sketchbook clutched to her chest, brow creased.

"What's wrong?" Roxas asked, startled. "I thought you were going with Pence and Olette." Namine nodded, nibbling at her bottom lip.

"I am," she said quietly. "I told them I'd catch up. Can I walk with you?"

Roxas frowned down at her in confusion. "Of course," he said gently. "Are you ok, Namine?" Namine smiled up at him, tucking a strand of hair back behind her ear.

"Yeah," she said quietly. Roxas waited, but when she didn't say anything else, he turned and began heading for the door, Namine trailing behind him. She didn't say anything else until they were a block from the school. "Roxas?"

"Yeah?"

"What does Axel look like?" Roxas glanced back over his shoulder at her in surprise. She was looking straight at him, sketchbook still clutched tightly to her chest.

"Well, uh, he looks like –" He broke off as he caught a familiar flash of red out of the corner of his eye. "He looks like that," he finished, gesturing toward the tall figure walking down the street a block and a half away. Namine's eyes widened and she tightened her grip on her sketchbook nervously. Roxas bent down, peering into her face worriedly.

"Namine? Are you really ok? Do you want me to take you home?" Namine shook her head violently, a shaky smile forming on her face.

"Really, I'm fine, Roxas. I'm going to go to Olette's, ok? Have fun," she said quickly, leaning forward and pecking him on the cheek. Roxas watched, puzzled, as she turned and walked rapidly away, shoulders hunched. Axel came up behind him, putting out his cigarette as he moved to stand beside him.

"Who was that?" the redhead asked, voice tight. Roxas glanced at him, but Axel's expression was blank, eyes fixed on Namine's retreating back.

"Namine," he answered, shifting his backpack and beginning to walk in the general direction of his apartment. He hadn't passed the café for over a week, and he'd planned to sit there with Axel until the musician showed up – he figured he owed the guy a nice pile of cash. Axel turned and kept pace with him.

"Who's Namine?" he asked, voice still tight with something Roxas couldn't identify. Roxas glanced at him again and noticed the tension in Axel's shoulders, the hard glint in his eyes. He shrugged, turning his eyes back to the sidewalk in front of him.

"She's a friend," he said quietly. "We grew up together. I think you scared her," he grinned, trying to shake the redhead out of his strange mood. Axel scowled.

"She kissed you," he grumbled. Roxas stopped and stared up at him, wide-eyed. Axel turned and glared down at him, eyes bright with resentment.

"Axel, what the hell?" Roxas snapped, wondering why it should bother Axel if Namine kissed him – and why he felt he needed to defend the fact that it hadn't meant anything. "She's a _friend_, ok?"

"You –"

"I mean, we've known each other forever. All she did was kiss me on the cheek."

"I –"

"What do you care, anyway?" Roxas was practically shouting, hands fisted at his sides.

"God _damn_ it!" Axel snarled, lashing out and punching the wall above Roxas. Roxas took an involuntary step back, his backpack sliding from his shoulder as he ran into the wall. The redhead leaned down until his eyes were level with Roxas's, bracing his hands against the wall over Roxas's shoulders.

"I _care_," he hissed savagely, "because I can't get you out of my head. I _care _because I've known you for a week and I somehow know things about you you've never told me. I know you hate being still and having to wait. I know you have weird taste in ice cream." Roxas paled and opened his mouth to argue, but Axel cut him off. "I _care_ because I have no idea what's happening, but I know it's happening because of you." He lowered his voice and brought his lips to Roxas's ear. "I _care_ because I've never touched you, but I can _remember_ at least a _dozen_ ways to make you moan my name."

Roxas twitched and shoved him away, feeling the warmth creeping up his neck and staining his cheeks. Axel glared at him, hands dropping to grip Roxas's shoulders tightly. "What am I to you?" he demanded harshly.

Roxas stared back, head spinning. Axel was too close – he could smell the cigarettes on his breath and see the pulse pounding in his throat. He sagged as his mind was flooded with images he'd never experienced – fighting alongside the redhead, arguing with him, feeling those lanky arms wrapped around him –

Roxas surged up and pressed his lips against Axel's, throwing his arms around his neck. He felt Axel stiffen and stumble in surprise, but then the redhead grunted and wrapped his arms around the blond, crushing him against his chest as he returned the kiss fiercely.

Roxas's mind reeled. The logical part of his brain knew he'd never kissed the redhead before, but they moved against each other as if it had happened a hundred times before; Roxas knew when to press forward and when to pull back, wasn't surprised when Axel bit at his lower lip, parting his lips so Axel could slip his tongue inside.

Axel jerked when Roxas's fingers began to slip beneath his shirt, tracing the line of his collarbone. With a low oath, he broke the kiss and shoved Roxas away from him, holding the blond at arms' length. They stared at each other silently, flushed and panting, until Axel bent his head and tightened his grip on Roxas's shoulders.

"What the fuck are you doing to me?" he whispered desperately. He shoved away from Roxas, turning and disappearing into the crowd without a backward glance.

Roxas slumped against the wall, beating one hand back against it until it began to bleed. With a strangled cry he grabbed up his backpack and ran all the way back to his apartment, slamming through it and locking himself in his room. He threw his backpack under his desk and crawled into his bed, burying his head under the pillow, trying to cool his burning face against the sheets.

He'd just kissed a guy – a guy who was still, for all intents and purposes, a stranger to him. He groaned, drawing his shoulders up as he tried to drive the memory out of his mind. He'd _kissed_ him, and it had felt like the most natural thing in the world. It had felt more than natural – it had felt _right_, and he would've kept going if Axel hadn't stopped him.

Growling in frustration, Roxas tore the pillow off his head and threw it savagely at the wall. Curling in on himself, he concentrated fiercely on thinking about nothing at all until he fell asleep.

* * *

_"What the hell took you so long?" Axel growled as he shoved Roxas against the wall, gloved hands working at the zipper of Roxas's dark coat. Scowling in irritation, Roxas smacked Axel's hands away._

"_Can't you wait?" he snapped, straightening his coat. Axel smirked, trailing a finger down Roxas's cheek. Roxas shivered at the touch – **damn** the man and his ability to know just where to put his hands – but he shoved the redhead away from him. "I have to speak to the Superior," he growled, calling up a dark portal._

_Axel leaned forward and brushed his lips lightly over Roxas's eye, smirking when the blond shivered again. Drawing back, he turned and walked away. "You know where to find me," he called over his shoulder._

_Roxas stepped through the portal with a sigh, reappearing outside the Superior's door. He gave his report as succinctly as possible, anxious to be out of Xemnas's presence – the Superior always made him feel as if he were an extremely interesting specimen in an experiment he had no knowledge of._

_When he was finally dismissed, he made his way back to his room on foot, looking forward to a book and a well-deserved rest. When he opened his door, he found Axel sprawled across his couch, flipping through one of his books indifferently. The Flurry of Dancing Flames looked up with a grin._

"_Axel, what are you doing in my room?" Roxas groaned, running one hand tiredly over his face. Axel's grin widened as he stood, the book dangling from his fingers until he dropped it back to the couch._

"_I got bored," he smirked, coming to stand before Roxas and running a hand through Roxas's hair. Roxas sighed as his priorities rearranged themselves. Reaching up and threading his fingers through Axel's hair, he pulled the redhead down for a forceful kiss._

_Axel grunted in approval and reached around Roxas to close the door. Roxas drew away, staring up at the redhead with a wry smile. "Bored, huh?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. Axel just shook his head in exasperation and dragged him over to the bed, pushing him down and leaning in for another kiss._

"_I **am** tired, Axel," Roxas managed to gasp out. Axel smirked, peeling his gloves off before reaching for the zipper of Roxas's coat._

"_Guess I'll have to help you relax," he grinned, pushing the dark leather out of the way and sliding his hands under Roxas's shirt. Roxas arched and moaned as Axel's calloused hands glided over his chest in practiced rhythm, followed swiftly by the redhead's teeth and tongue._

_Roxas closed his mind against the endearments Axel murmured, knowing he didn't mean them, couldn't mean them – they said them anyway, because they remembered that they should, and because in another life, they might've meant something._

_Then a warm hand was slipping into his pants, stroking and wrapping around him, and Roxas ceased thinking altogether._

* * *

Roxas woke with a start, sitting up violently and glancing around the room wildly, drawing his knees to his chest. He was bathed in cold sweat, and he began to tremble violently.

"I've never touched him," he muttered desperately to himself. "I've never touched him, and he's never touched me." Still shuddering, he pulled himself out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. Turning the water on as hot as he could stand, he stripped and stepped into the shower, turning his face into the scalding spray.

He didn't move until all the warmth had leached from the water, then he quickly washed and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel from the rack and wrapping it around his waist. Shaking the water out of his hair, he hurried back to his room, shivering in the cool air.

He dressed rapidly, then began digging through his backpack, searching desperately for his cell phone. He finally pulled it from the bottom of his backpack, jumping when it rang in his hand. He sighed in relief when he saw that it was Namine who was calling him.

"Roxas? I just got back from –"

"Namine, can I come over?" Roxas interrupted, his voice sharper than he'd intended. Namine paused, and Roxas could almost see her eyebrows drawing together in concern.

"Sure," she said softly. "Roxas, is everything ok?"

"No," Roxas muttered harshly. "No, it's not."

* * *

Namine let him in without a word, drawing him into a gentle hug before she turned and led him to her room. She didn't object when he wrapped his arms around her and clung to her in quiet desperation, smoothing her hands along his back and through his hair until he stepped back. She took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her.

"What happened?" she asked quietly. Roxas sighed deeply, reaching up and removing her hands from his face, tangling his fingers with hers. He led her over to the bed, kicking off his shoes so he could sit cross-legged on her sheets. She curled up beside him, disentangling one hand to push his hair out of his face. "Tell me," she said gently. Roxas did.

He poured out everything – from the first time he'd spoken with Axel, to the incident in the fast food restaurant, to their last disastrous encounter; he let the words spill from his lips, appreciating more than ever before Namine's instinctive gift for knowing when he needed the reassurance of a gentle touch and when he needed her to draw away. She sat silently throughout the entire story, reaching up and planting a kiss on his temple when his voice finally died away.

"Stay here for a minute, ok?" she said quietly, giving his fingers a squeeze before she stood and left the room. Roxas stared at his hands, thoughts mercifully silent for the first time since he'd woken. He roused himself when Namine re-entered the room, sketchbook in hand. "Look at these," she said, placing the book in his hands, already open.

Roxas's eyes widened. There, spread across two pages, were sketches of Axel – perfect likenesses, down to the tattoos under his eyes. Roxas's eyes narrowed at the dark coat Axel wore in each picture.

"I drew these before I ever saw him," Namine said softly. She kneeled next to the bed, propping her chin in her hands and staring up at Roxas. "I've dreamed about him – and you."

Roxas twitched and jerked his gaze away from the sketches, staring at the floor. Namine reached out and grabbed one of his hands, slipping the sketchbook away from him. "Roxas, I've never seen you happier than when you're talking about him," she said quietly. She gestured at the drawings of Axel. "I don't know what all this means, but…don't be afraid of that. Don't lose it." She glanced back down at the sketchbook. "Don't throw it away."

Roxas bent and gathered her into a tight hug, not having the heart to tell her he suspected he'd already ruined his chances.


	5. Turn Off Your Damn Cell Phone

(A/N): ...Wow. The responses to last chapter blew me away. I'm assuming it was the promise of cake. But seriously, _thank you_ to everyone who reviewed, it made my day. As we are still struggling with an over-abundance of birthday-related junk food, reviewers for this chapter will get ice cream.

Disclaimer: La, la, la, I can't heeeaaarrr you...

Turn Off Your Damn Cell Phone

Cloud was waiting when Roxas got back to his apartment. His half-brother accosted him as soon as he walked in the door.

"Where were you?" Cloud snapped, scowling. Roxas took one look at his expression and realized Cloud was dangerously close to being angry with him – his brother rarely got mad, and Roxas knew he should tread carefully. He made an effort to keep his tone level.

"I went over to Namine's," he said quietly, pushing his hair out of his face. Cloud's scowl deepened as he crossed his arms irritably.

"I've _asked_ you to leave me a message when you're not going to be here," he sighed tiredly. Roxas ducked his head and flushed as he realized Cloud must've been waiting and worrying for at least an hour.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I forgot." Cloud stepped forward and grabbed his arm, expression troubled.

"Roxas, what's going on?" he asked quietly. Roxas hunched his shoulders, staring at the floor.

"I don't wanna talk about it," he muttered. For a second Cloud's grip tightened. When Roxas glanced up, he caught the fleeting expression of frustration on his brother's face before Cloud released him and stepped back, features rearranging themselves into a carefully neutral expression.

"Fine," Cloud breathed. He turned on his heel and marched back to his room. "Can you make dinner yourself tonight, or do you want me to leave you some money?" Roxas raised an eyebrow as he moved away from the door, hanging his jacket in the closet.

"Where are you going?" he asked curiously. Cloud poked his head out of his room briefly, a small grin on his face.

"I've got a date," he mumbled, looking both pleased and vaguely embarrassed. He rolled his eyes at Roxas's expression, disappearing back into his room. "What, you think I can't get a date?"

Roxas shook his head and grinned. "I'll just heat some leftovers," he chuckled. Cloud grunted at him from behind his half-closed door. Roxas collapsed on the couch and reached for the remote, intending to lose himself for an hour or two in mindless entertainment.

"Oh." Cloud poked his head back out of his door, buttoning up his suit jacket. Roxas raised an eyebrow at him. Apparently this was some date. "Sora called earlier. He's thinking of flying over for winter break. He wants you to call him back before he talks to his parents about it." Roxas's face split into a wide grin as Cloud crossed the living room and grabbed his jacket from the closet. "I'll be back late – you'd better be in bed when I get home, understand?" Roxas nodded, but he couldn't help smirking.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he snickered. Cloud scowled at him before he pulled the door closed behind him. Roxas couldn't fight a twinge of resentment and jealousy. At least one of them had their life in order.

* * *

School the next day melded into one monotonous blur. Hayner showed up halfway through the day, but Roxas couldn't muster the energy to feel more than the shallowest relief at his friend's recovery. Namine watched him at lunch, concern written all over her features, but she didn't try to get him to speak.

Roxas dragged himself home in a daze – he immediately lost himself in homework, only emerging from his room to eat. He dug his cell phone out of his backpack and placed it on his nightstand in case Sora tried to call – the brunette was still waiting on permission from his parents to fly over – and buried himself beneath the covers.

The shrill ringing of his cell dragged him out of dreams of an all-consuming fire, and he almost fumbled the phone to the floor before he managed to wrap his fingers around it and bring it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Roxas?"

Roxas's heart stopped for a second, then jumped into his throat and began beating at a frenzied pace. Axel cleared his throat uncomfortably, and Roxas could almost see him drag a hand through his mane of hair. "You there?"

Roxas blinked slowly, waiting for his mind to begin running at the proper speed. "Axel…? What time is it?" he mumbled, wiping the sleep from his eyes. Axel gave a low, uneasy chuckle.

"Uh, twelve-thirty. Somewhere around there, anyway. Shit, you've got school, don't you?" he asked with a sigh. Before Roxas could answer there were sounds of a scuffle on the other end of the line. He thought he heard Axel cry, "Damn it, Larxene, get _off_," before another familiar voice sounded in his ear.

"Roxas?" Judging by the way she slurred his name, Larxene was probably under the influence of a hefty amount of alcohol. "Hey, kid, what the hell happened between you two?" she cackled. Roxas could hear music punctuated by a heavy bass beat and voices chattering in the background; he thought he could faintly hear what sounded like a furious Axel pursuing the blonde, but he wasn't sure. "Axel's hardly said a word since yesterday and – and when he does, he bites yer head off. _Whoops_," she sang before Roxas heard another disturbance interspersed with low oaths and high-pitched laughter.

"Go get another drink, Larxene," Axel snarled. "Sorry about that," he muttered to Roxas. "She's drunk." Roxas laughed shakily.

"I noticed," he muttered thickly, turning onto his side and pulling the comforter back over him. There was silence on the line until Axel sighed deeply.

"Look, I said some stuff –"

"It wasn't your fault," Roxas interrupted, feeling his face heat up as he blushed. "I – I was the one who… who kissed you," he finished in a mortified whisper.

"Yeah," Axel sighed. "About that. It – I shouldn't have said that stuff to you, even if it was true. I just…" He trailed off uncomfortably. "I've been going crazy these last few days," he finished roughly. Roxas heard him take a deep breath.

"I know I freaked you out," he said brusquely. "And I'm sorry. But everything I told you is the truth. I _do_ remember things about you, about **_us_**, that've never happened. And it's wrong because they keep getting mixed up in my head, and I couldn't help it after I – I saw her kiss you."

"It wasn't just you," Roxas insisted. "I – I kissed you. You didn't force me to do that. And it's confusing every time I see you, but I think – I _do_ want to see you again," he said quietly.

Axel didn't speak right away, and when he did Roxas could hear the nervous smirk in his voice. "You've gotta promise not to jump me like that again, Roxas. I don't seem to have much, ah, self-control when it comes to you."

Roxas groaned in embarrassment, sure his face would burst into flame at any moment. "Sorry," he choked out, squeezing his eyes shut as he buried his head under the comforter. "I just – I remember things, too, I guess. It just – I was – sorry," he finished lamely. Axel's breath hitched for a moment, and he heard the redhead swallow thickly.

"Ok," Axel breathed. "So we can agree there's some strange shit happening here." Roxas nodded his head vigorously, then realized Axel couldn't see the motion.

"Yeah," he muttered hoarsely.

"The point is, I want to see you again," Axel bit out. Roxas couldn't help smiling into the receiver. "And – and I can keep my hands to myself, if it means getting another chance." Roxas laughed softly.

"Axel, _I'm_ the one who jumped _you_, remember?" he chuckled. Axel was silent for a moment before he burst into raucous laughter.

"Yeah, yeah you were," he grinned, relief evident in his voice. "I've got class tomorrow night, but –"

"What about Saturday?" Roxas interrupted, trying to keep the eagerness out of his voice. He could practically _see_ Axel raising his eyebrows and smirking into the phone.

"All right," the redhead chuckled. They settled upon a time and place to meet, then Roxas hung up and returned his phone to the nightstand. His smile didn't fade until long after he'd fallen back asleep.

* * *

Roxas choked back a moan as Axel slid warm fingers under his shirt, trailing his hands up his sides slowly as his mouth worked feverishly at Roxas's throat.

"I – I thought we agreed to keep our hands to ourselves," Roxas gasped out, raising an eyebrow at the redhead. He felt Axel smirk against his skin before he raised his head and brushed his lips against Roxas's.

"I made every effort," Axel intoned mockingly. Roxas managed a shaky laugh.

"That was a damned short-lived effort," he remarked, reaching out and twining his fingers through Axel's hair. Axel smirked.

"Do you ever shut up?" he asked, eyes narrowing in exasperation. Roxas's answer dissolved into a hiss when Axel's hands dropped and began working at the button of Roxas's jeans. The redhead leaned in and pressed his lips to Roxas's, prying the blond's lips open with gentle pressure and sweeping his tongue inside.

Roxas didn't understand why, after sitting through the entire movie without so much as brushing against each other, Axel couldn't manage the short walk back to the subway. Not that he was complaining, he amended hazily.

They'd met in front of the theater, Axel's relaxed attitude and customary smirk allowing Roxas to let the tension drain from his body. They'd watched the movie in relative silence, solemnly agreeing once the credits began to roll that it had been a monumental waste of money, still decrying the loss of cash that might have been better spent as they left the darkened theater behind.

And then Axel had grabbed him and pinned him to the wall in the alley behind the movie theater, hope and fear warring in his eyes. For once, there had been no voice screaming in Roxas's head, only a quiet certainty; he'd reached up and traced one of the tattoos beneath Axel's eyes, grinning, and Axel had smirked before leaning down and capturing the blond's lips in a possessive kiss.

Roxas moaned loudly as one of Axel's hands slipped beneath the hem of his boxers, fisting his hands in the redhead's hair and arching into his touch. They both froze when the obnoxiously cheerful ring tone of Roxas's cell phone cut through the humid air.

"You've gotta be fuckin' _kidding_ me," Axel groaned harshly, resting his forehead against Roxas's shoulder. "Ignore it," he whispered roughly, stroking his hand slowly down Roxas's length. Roxas shuddered, but he shook his head, panting heavily.

"Let go, Axel. Please," he whispered, running his hands through Axel's hair. Axel groaned again, biting Roxas's neck punishingly before he pulled away, turning and walking back toward the mouth of the alley.

"I'll be right back," he muttered. "Answer your damn phone." Roxas flushed and buttoned his jeans before he grabbed his phone from his pocket. Shrugging back into his jacket and trying to wrestle his hormones back under control, he leaned against the wall and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Roxas! My parents said I can come visit over winter break!"

Roxas didn't know whether he wanted to grin or groan as the exuberant brunette's voice spilled from the phone's speaker. He settled for a strangled laugh.

"That's great, Sora," he managed, his pulse still pounding loudly in his ears. "Did you tell Cloud yet?"

"No, I wanted to tell you first," Sora grinned, and Roxas could just picture his cousin bouncing in place. "Riku and Kairi might be able to come, too. Oh, but I don't know where they'd stay – d'you think there'd be room for all of us at your apartment? Or maybe we should rent a room at a hotel…" Sora's voice trailed off into silence. "Roxas? Are you ok? You sound really out of breath." Roxas fought the urge to weep hysterically.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was…out jogging," he said lamely, his breath finally beginning to even out.

"Oh," Sora said shortly, and Roxas could tell the brunette didn't know what to make of his answer. "Ok…"

"When are you flying out?" Roxas asked, straightening and pushing his hair out of his face.

"Well, I've gotta talk to Cloud about that," Sora answered cheerfully. "And I don't know if Riku or Kairi are coming yet – Kairi's really excited 'cause she's never seen snow."

"Well, it doesn't always snow," Roxas warned. He saw Axel enter the mouth of the alley out of the corner of his eye, looking decidedly more relaxed as he took a deep drag of his cigarette. Roxas flushed and turned away from him. "Listen Sora, I've gotta go, ok? Why don't you call Cloud and let him know you're coming? Then we can figure out everything else."

"All right," Sora agreed. "I'll talk to you later, Roxas."

"Yeah, bye," Roxas muttered, flipping the phone closed and sliding it back into his pocket. He turned back to Axel, fighting the heat in his cheeks as he stared with rapt fascination at the tops of his shoes. "Sorry about that," he mumbled. Axel sighed heavily.

"You're killing me, kid," he said tiredly, taking another deep drag on his cigarette. Roxas twitched and felt the heat build from the base of his neck to his hairline. Axel reached out and wrapped him in a rough hug, resting his chin on top of Roxas's head. "It was my fault, too," he muttered. "Shouldn't have jumped you like that." Roxas smirked.

"Well, I guess now we're even," he sighed, burrowing his cheek into Axel's chest. The redhead chuckled, running his free hand through Roxas's hair.

"Guess so," he murmured, giving Roxas a quick squeeze before he pulled away. "C'mon, I'll take you home." Roxas frowned at the note of finality in Axel's voice.

"Can I see you again tomorrow?" Roxas asked. Axel turned and looked at him, expression unreadable. Roxas stared back, striving to keep his expression just as impassive.

Axel dropped his cigarette to the pavement and ground it beneath his shoe. "You sure that's a good idea?" he asked softly, running a hand through his hair. "Things are getting a little out of hand here, Roxas. I was ready to fuck you in a back alley. You would've _let me_ fuck you in an alley."

"Please," Roxas said quietly, surprised by his own boldness. "One more time, and then if you never wanna see me again, I won't bother you. I just don't want things to end like this." He ducked his head. "If you get uncomfortable, I'll leave. Just dinner, conversation, and I'll leave, I promise."

Axel tilted his head to the side, studying Roxas narrowly. "You're lying," he growled. Roxas didn't answer him, staring back impassively. Axel walked back up to him, gripping his shoulders tightly. "You're fucking lying, Roxas," he grated out harshly.

Roxas reached up and brushed a stray piece of hair back behind Axel's ear. The redhead shuddered and groaned, and for a moment Roxas thought he would kiss him again, but Axel shoved Roxas away from him and retrieved a pen and scrap of paper from his pocket. He scribbled something furiously, then flung the paper at Roxas. Turning on his heel, he marched back to the mouth of the alley, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Roxas waited until Axel had disappeared around the corner to bend and retrieve the scrap of paper. Axel's address was scribbled across it in an uneven hand. Beneath it was a terse note: _Turn your damn cell phone off before you come over_. Roxas smiled softly as he tucked the paper into his pocket.

* * *

Roxas stared up at the plain apartment complex and double-checked the address Axel had scribbled. Confirming he was in the right place, he stepped up to the stairs and pressed the buzzer for apartment 3C. The intercom crackled and Axel's voice filtered through the static.

"Hello?"

"It's me," Roxas said quietly. Axel was silent for a moment before the intercom crackled again.

"You should go home, Roxas," he said tersely. Roxas scowled at the speaker.

"I won't," he said flatly. The intercom remained silent, but the buzzer sounded and Roxas pushed through the door and headed for the stairs. As he drew closer to the third floor he coughed, wondering vaguely why he smelled smoke.

The answer presented itself when Axel answered the door – the redhead's face was covered with streaks of what looked like soot, and he was gripping a fire extinguisher in one hand. Roxas winced as what sounded like a small explosion erupted from the direction of what he assumed to be the kitchen.

"Roxas," Axel said blandly. "How do you feel about pizza?"

* * *

After helping Axel clean the worst of the mess in the kitchen and dumping the blackened carcass of _something_ in the outdoor trash, Roxas headed to the bathroom to wash up while Axel called out for the pizza. Rinsing the mess from his hands and arms, Roxas caught and held his gaze in the mirror. Wiping a hand distractedly across his cheek, Roxas started when Axel banged on the door.

"C'mon Roxas, I need in there. I smell like a dead animal," he groaned. Roxas grinned at his reflection before quickly drying his hands on a towel and opening the door. Axel pushed past him, muttering, "It's about time." Roxas's grin just widened as he rambled back into the living room and took a seat on Axel's couch.

Axel wandered back in a few minutes later, running his hands through his hair in a distracted manner. "I don't know what you like on your pizza, so I got cheese," he muttered, throwing himself into the armchair adjacent to the couch. Roxas smiled.

"Cheese is fine," he said. Axel grunted and stretched his legs out in front of him, reaching for the remote and flipping through the channels blindly. Roxas fidgeted uncomfortably, but Axel didn't speak again until the buzzer rang.

After he'd paid the delivery guy and brought the pizza to the coffee table, he smiled for the first time since Roxas had arrived. Grabbing two slices for himself, Axel gestured at the pie. "Dig in," he said with a grin.

Roxas took a slice, but instead of eating, he surreptitiously watched Axel. He cringed when he noticed the tightness in Axel's shoulders, the way his throat clenched when he swallowed his food. The redhead tore through his two slices in no time, only noticing when he reached for a third that Roxas had barely touched his food.

"What's wrong?" he asked, brows drawing down over his eyes. "Don't you like it?" Roxas shook his head miserably.

"It's fine," he said. "I just – I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry, Axel. You were right. I'm – I'm gonna go, ok?" He stood abruptly, placing his half-eaten slice back in the box before he began to brush past Axel. The redhead snared his arm as he tried to walk past.

"What's wrong?" Axel asked stiffly. "You said you wanted this." Roxas closed his eyes, clenching his hands into fists.

"I know," he whispered. "I know. I'm sorry, I just – you were right. This thing is just – just too weird, and I'm sorry, but I can't sit here and pretend that I – I –"

"You what?" Axel demanded softly, his fingers tightening around Roxas's arm. Roxas swallowed thickly, uselessly tugging his arm against Axel's grip. He knew he'd pushed Axel into letting him come over, and it was killing him that Axel was so uncomfortable – and damn it, he knew things were happening too fast between them, but he didn't _care_, because –

"Don't lie to me, Roxas."

Roxas ran his free hand through his hair savagely before he turned on the redhead.

"That I don't want to do _this_!" he cried desperately before pressing his lips to Axel's in a bruising kiss. Axel gasped, his lips parting slightly, and Roxas shoved his tongue into the redhead's mouth. For a timeless second, Axel didn't react, staring up at Roxas with wide eyes; then he groaned in the back of his throat, grip tightening around Roxas's arm before he dragged the younger boy down on top of him.

Roxas grunted in surprise as he collided with Axel's chest, but he scrambled up to capture the redhead's lips again, sitting up and straddling his lap. Axel moaned as Roxas began to grind against him, biting at the blond's lips as he wrapped his arms around him. Axel reached up, fisting his hands in Roxas's hair as he slipped his tongue past his lips. Roxas moaned desperately as Axel slid down in his seat, wrapping an arm around Roxas's waist and pulling his hips forward, keeping the other hand fisted in his hair as the redhead's tongue wrapped around his own. Axel bucked upward sharply and Roxas dug his nails into his shoulders with a groan.

Roxas pushed downward, moving against Axel in abrupt, deliberate motions as their tongues continued to slide over and against one another, silently begging the redhead to understand – he wanted, he _needed_ –

Axel sat up, grabbing the back of Roxas's thighs and wrapping the blond's legs around his waist as he stood. Roxas cinched his arms around Axel's neck as the redhead stumbled toward his bedroom. Roxas groaned in protest when Axel broke the kiss to fumble with the door, biting at the redhead's neck impatiently as Axel swore softly above him.

Axel finally got the door open and stumbled over to the bed, Roxas unclenching his legs from his waist as he was pushed down against the sheets. Axel gazed down at him, face flushed. "Are you ok?" he asked. "We can stop." Roxas shook his head desperately, trying to drag Axel's face back down for another kiss, but the redhead's intense gaze didn't waver. "Roxas, have you ever done this before?" he asked, panting softly.

Roxas flushed and looked away, scowling. Above him, Axel froze, then let loose a harsh bark of laughter before he sat back and turned away from him, tangling his fingers in his hair. "God, Roxas, what the hell are we doing?" he whispered desperately.

Roxas drew himself up and wrapped his arms around Axel's shoulders. "We're doing what's right," he muttered, smoothing a few stray strands of hair back from Axel's cheek. He closed his eyes as fragments of his dreams washed over him. "I _have_ done this before – with you." Axel groaned and wiped one hand tiredly over his face.

"We're insane," he muttered shakily. "You know that, don't you? We're both fucking insane." Roxas didn't answer, only tightened his hold on the redhead's shoulders. Axel laughed harshly, the sound perilously close to a sob, before he turned and pushed Roxas back down onto the bed.

Climbing on top of him, Axel pulled Roxas's shirt up over his head before discarding his own, leaning down to capture Roxas's lips in a long kiss. Roxas arched and moaned as Axel's hands moved across his chest, long fingers splaying over his ribs and stroking along his sides. He rubbed a thumb teasingly across one hardened nipple, smirking against Roxas's lips when he gasped into his mouth.

Roxas let his hands roam freely across Axel's chest and stomach, memorizing the feel of the redhead's skin beneath his hands, the bunching and shifting of muscle as Axel began to rock against him in a slow, deliberate rhythm.

"A – Axel…" Roxas threw his head back as Axel continued to grind against him, squirming when the redhead grazed his teeth along his throat. "Please…"

Axel pressed a warm kiss against his neck before he sat back. Roxas scrambled to discard his jeans and boxers as Axel slipped out of his own, coloring slightly when Axel pressed a hand against his chest and gently pushed him back to the mattress. Axel pressed a kiss to Roxas's lips before he reached for a jar of lotion on the bedside table. He crouched between Roxas's legs, gently shifting them out of the way. He glanced up at Roxas.

"You sure you're ready?" he asked softly. Roxas nodded, swallowing thickly. Axel kissed the inside of his thigh before he carefully pressed a lube-covered finger into him.

Roxas closed his eyes and groaned, trying to decide whether he liked the new sensation or not. Axel watched him closely, waiting until some of the tension had drained from his expression before slipping in a second finger.

"I'm ok," Roxas gasped. "I'm ok, Axel, _please_." Axel leaned forward, carefully draping Roxas's legs over his shoulders.

"This is gonna hurt," he murmured, biting at Roxas's neck gently. "It's gonna hurt, but the pain doesn't last, ok? Just try to concentrate on something else."

Roxas clenched his teeth as Axel pressed into him, a thin hiss of pain escaping before he could stop it. He closed his eyes as Axel kissed his shoulder in silent apology, digging his fingers into Axel's arms.

Roxas gave an involuntary start when Axel bit down on his earlobe. Axel groaned harshly at the movement and rocked against him, but stilled himself at Roxas's cry of pain. "Fuck," he whispered raggedly. Roxas could feel him trembling. Axel took a deep breath, lifting his eyes to meet Roxas's. "You've gotta try to relax, Roxas," he murmured hoarsely. "It won't hurt for long, I promise." He lowered his head and pressed warm kisses against Roxas's taught throat. "I won't move until you're ready, ok? Just relax."

Roxas reached up and buried his hands in Axel's hair as Axel continued to press soft kisses along his throat and jaw, occasionally biting or sucking at the sensitive skin below Roxas's ear. As the pain faded to a dull ache, Roxas pushed Axel's head away and traced the tattoos on his cheeks with trembling fingers. "Ok," he breathed.

Axel pressed a fierce kiss against his lips before he began to move inside him, drawing back and locking his eyes with Roxas's, watching his expression intently. Roxas threw his head back and began to moan as they found a good rhythm, lifting his hips to meet Axel's thrusts. Axel shifted his position and hit _something_ inside of Roxas that caused him to jerk and scream, his nails biting into Axel's shoulders as the same spot was assaulted again and again.

Roxas couldn't help the broken cry that tore its way out of his throat as his world went white. He shuddered, falling away from himself, barely feeling when Axel sank his teeth into his shoulder as he came.

When Roxas could form coherent thought again, Axel was carefully lowering his legs from his shoulders and rolling off of him. The redhead grabbed his discarded shirt and gently cleaned the mess from Roxas's stomach and chest before pulling the blond into a tight hug. "You ok?" he asked softly.

Roxas reached up and ran a hand along Axel's cheek, planting a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth. He sighed, wrapping his arms around Axel's waist as he laid his cheek against Axel's warm chest. For the first time since he'd seen the redhead, he was completely at peace.

"Yeah," he whispered, smiling softly as Axel ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, I'm ok." He drifted to sleep with the reassuring beat of Axel's heart beneath his ear.


	6. Confusion

(A/N): My brain has died. I'm pretty sure, anyway. For some reason this chapter just _refused_ to be written. Gah. As always, _thank you_ to everyone who reviewed, they really cheered me up when I was beating my head against the desk trying to work past my writer's block. I'm all out of birthday goodies, so all I can offer is my undying thanks and affection.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters (but I can dream.)

Confusion

Roxas dreamed of warm hands and fire dancing through his nerves, dry lips crushing against his own in a bruising kiss and the feel of sharp teeth against his skin. There were stifled moans and desperate, wrenching cries as two bodies moved in one rhythm.

There were flashes of remembered emotions – flashes as brief as they were intense that had confused and frightened them both, because everything they knew and were said they shouldn't feel at all. There were drowsy conversations and nights spent with lanky arms wrapped around him as they acted out their charade, desperate to believe it was true – that they would've meant something to each other if they could.

It was all so horribly foreign and heartbreakingly familiar that when Roxas woke with a small start and reached groggily for the body lying next to him, he was only marginally surprised to find that he was alone.

Cracking an eye open, Roxas winced at the pale morning light filtering through the blinds. His head felt light and his limbs felt heavy, and he ached _everywhere_. He buried his head in the pillow with a groan, trying to ignore the way Axel's scent clung to the sheets around him.

He couldn't blame the redhead for taking off – Axel had tried to keep last night from happening at all; if Roxas hadn't pushed him, he probably would've succeeded. Roxas remembered waking at some point in the night with Axel's arms wrapped so tightly around him it had hurt, groaning in his sleep as he crushed Roxas against him. Roxas could guess at what his dreams had contained.

Pushing himself up wearily, Roxas wiped the sleep from his eyes and glanced down at himself, scowling as he realized he'd have to take a shower before he left the apartment. He froze when the apartment door banged open and a familiar voice snapped irritably from the living room, "Axel, get your ass outta bed – you were supposed to be there at eight!"

Roxas barely had time to grab the sheets and drag them back around his hips before Larxene burst into the bedroom. The blonde froze in the doorway, her aggravated expression suddenly wiped clean and her eyes widening in shock. Roxas wanted to say something, but from the expression on Larxene's face, the twisted sheets and his own disheveled state seemed to say it all. Roxas stared at her silently as her mouth dropped open and her throat spasmed. Without a word, she backed out of the bedroom, turned on her heel, and walked out of the apartment.

Roxas groaned, burying his face in his hands. It was _not_ shaping up to be a good morning.

Wincing, he dragged himself out of the bed and carefully gathered his clothes from the floor. Pushing his hair out of his eyes, he staggered to the bathroom and took a warm shower, wondering how long it would take for the guilt and regret eating at his gut to disappear. He dressed quickly, took one last look at the apartment, smiling softly at the remains of Axel's disastrous attempt at cooking, and left, locking the door behind him.

A commotion at the end of the block drew Roxas's attention as he exited the building. Someone was screaming, the flow of people on the sidewalk knotting and tangling before they could angle themselves around the disturbance. Roxas began to turn away, but he caught the flash of red hair and turned back, heart lurching.

As he approached, he could recognize Larxene's voice, occasionally rising in near-hysterics. He could guess what she was screaming about. He paused a few feet from them, pressing himself against a wall to keep from being noticed. Larxene was jabbing a finger in Axel's face, and Roxas caught the phrase "fucking pedophile." He winced. Axel was simply standing and letting Larxene scream at him, occasionally answering her accusations in low tones Roxas couldn't hear.

Larxene broke off, panting heavily as she glared at the redhead. Abruptly she drew back and punched him across the face – Axel made no move to block her, his head snapping to the side so violently Roxas winced, afraid his neck would break. Larxene growled something Roxas couldn't hear and shoved past Axel, rubbing her bruised knuckles savagely.

Roxas cringed at her expression when her gaze fell on him – her eyes were empty and bleak, her demeanor one of complete and utter defeat. Larxene's lips twisted in a silent snarl when she recognized him. Roxas watched with detached resignation as she stalked toward him, hands fisted at her sides. She raised a hand to slap him, but long fingers caught her wrist and twisted lightly at her arm in warning.

"Don't you fucking _touch_ him, Larxene," Axel said rigidly, voice deceptively soft. "None of this is his fault."

Roxas saw something in Larxene's empty eyes crack a little more before the blonde tore herself out of Axel's grip, spinning away and sprinting down the street. They watched her go silently, Axel taking a deep drag on his cigarette before he crushed it against the wall and dropped it to the sidewalk.

"Will – will she be all right?" Roxas murmured, feeling the guilt start in on his gut again. Axel sighed, exhaling a thin plume of smoke as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Eventually," he muttered. Roxas swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat.

"Were…were you two…?" Axel snorted.

"No," he said flatly. "We were only using each other. I knew it, so did she. She just…always thought she'd find what she was looking for first." He glanced at Roxas out of the corner of his eye. Roxas fidgeted uncomfortably.

"She had a key to your apartment," he muttered, flushing as he realized that what Axel did in his free time was none of his business. Axel sighed heavily, reaching out and wrapping an arm around Roxas's shoulders.

"C'mon," he said tiredly. Roxas allowed himself to be led back to the entryway of Axel's apartment building, trying to ignore the stinging at the back of his eyes. Axel unlocked the door and shoved through it, turning to face him.

"Larxene and me," he said slowly, "we were never serious about each other. We were just…passing the time. We both knew we were waiting for something else. She's not pissed about us, or even _you_ – she just wasn't ready for things to change." There was a short pause as Axel took a deep breath.

"Look, last night… it shouldn't have happened – not the way it did," he muttered, dragging a hand through his hair. Roxas clenched his fists, snapping his head up to glare at Axel.

"You fucking asshole," he hissed savagely. Axel's eyes glittered as he reached out and grabbed Roxas's biceps, curling his fingers into the blond's arms tightly.

"Don't gimme that shit," he snapped. "You don't _know_ me, Roxas. Would you have slept with me last night without all those voices and memories crowding your head? I told you things were moving too fast, were getting out of control." His grip tightened as Roxas's eyes strayed from his face. "**_Look at me_**, damn it," he snarled.

Roxas cut his eyes back to Axel's face, expecting his features to be contorted with rage – there was anger, yes, but the part that made his chest ache was the expression of tired resignation in the redhead's eyes. "Honesty, right?" he breathed. Axel blinked, his brow smoothing as he nodded, swallowing thickly. Roxas stared up at him, cocking his head to the side as he studied his face. "No," he said quietly.

There was a long silence as Axel searched his eyes before the redhead gave a harsh sigh, pulling Roxas to him in a rough hug. "All right," he said, laughing a little. "All right." Roxas wrapped his arms around his shoulders as he rested his cheek against Axel's chest, grinning.

"So we're ok?" he asked quietly. Axel laughed again, tightening his arms around Roxas's shoulders.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "We're insane and _seriously_ fucked up, but we're ok." Roxas relaxed into the embrace, pressing his ear to Axel's chest, smiling at the clear, steady rhythm he heard. Axel ran a hand through his hair before he stepped back with a sigh.

"I had these made the other day," he muttered, pressing something into Roxas's hand. Roxas peered down at the keys in his palm, then glanced up at Axel with a puzzled expression. Axel smirked, shoving his hands in his pockets. "What can I say – I'm an optimist," he grinned.

Roxas smiled as he turned the keys over in his hands, studying the key chain attached to them. It was burnished silver and red, with sharp spikes resembling the teeth of a key. It felt warm in his hands. "You like that?" Axel asked, grinning. Roxas nodded, clutching it tightly in his hands.

"Yeah," he whispered. "I do."

Axel's grin gentled into a pleased smile. "Good," he sighed. He pulled a hand through his hair, expression sobering. "Listen, last night –"

"I know," Roxas interrupted.

"Ok." Axel wrapped an arm around his shoulders as he steered Roxas toward the door. "I've got a new roommate moving in soon," he said, ruffling Roxas's hair. "So call first, but if you ever need a place to crash, just let yourself in, ok?" Roxas nodded, shoving the keys into his pocket. Axel kept his arm around him as they descended the steps, and Roxas appreciated the familiar weight of it against his shoulders.

"I've gotta go," he murmured, slipping out from underneath Axel's arm as they reached the sidewalk. Axel nodded, digging through his pockets for his cigarettes. "Can I – can I call you later?"

Axel grinned as he settled a cigarette between his lips. "I'd like that," he muttered.

* * *

Cloud was waiting when Roxas got home. Roxas froze in the doorway as his half-brother glared at him from the couch, hands fisted in his lap. For a moment, the only thing Roxas's brain seemed able to fathom was that Cloud had missed work – Cloud _never_ missed work, even when he was sick.

The thing that kicked his brain back into working order and let him know he was _really_ in trouble was Cloud's expression, an expression Roxas had only ever seen once before, when Cloud had taken him from their father's home for the last time – Cloud was _furious_.

"Wha-what are you doing home?" he gasped, sagging against the doorway. Cloud's expression darkened.

"You never came home last night," he spit out, eyes glittering savagely. "I came home and you weren't here – no note, no message, nothing. I called your cell, but it was turned off. I got up this morning and your bed hadn't been slept in. Then Aerith calls me and says you're not in homeroom." Cloud took a deep, steadying breath. When he spoke again, his voice shook with fury. "_Where were you_?"

"Aerith?" Roxas questioned weakly, his eyes widening as recognition sank in. "Miss _Gainsborough_? Why would she call you?" he choked out, flinching as Cloud growled in frustration.

"Do _not_ change the subject," he snarled. "Where were you last night?"

Roxas flushed and looked away from him. He couldn't tell him the truth, and it would only complicate things if he tried to lie. "I can't – I can't tell you," he muttered, swallowing against the sudden lump in his throat. "I just can't."

Cloud made a pained sound in the back of his throat, and when Roxas glanced up he saw so much grief in Cloud's eyes that he almost told him the truth – but then Cloud's mask slid back into place, the vulnerability Roxas had seen just seconds ago disappearing behind walls of forced apathy. "All right," he breathed, forcing his hands to relax. Roxas could hear the cold fury behind Cloud's calm words, but his brother's face remained implacable. "If you're going to skip school, I'll find something else for you to do."

He shoved himself up from the couch and pushed Roxas back out the door. "I called Cid this morning," he muttered harshly. "He's agreed to put you to work in his garage until I get through with work."

"But – I don't know anything about cars!" Roxas protested, trying not to wince as Cloud's hand clamped down on his bruised shoulder.

"Guess you'll learn," Cloud said flatly, and the look in his eyes kept Roxas from arguing any further.

* * *

Cid took Roxas from Cloud without a word, the grizzled mechanic only raising his eyebrows at Cloud's curt instructions before he nodded, chewing at the stub of a cigar wedged in the corner of his mouth. Because Roxas knew next to nothing about the internal workings of a car, he was given menial tasks, like fetching supplies and grease rags and working the register. Still, by the time mid-afternoon rolled around, his lower back had tightened to the point of pain. When he almost impaled an employee's foot after dropping a screwdriver when his back spasmed, Cid dragged the boy into his office and made him lie on the couch.

Roxas closed his eyes as he waited for the muscles in his back to unclench. Cid stood over him, still chewing on his cigar, and Roxas wondered idly how the man had managed to avoid blowing his garage up all these years while smoking on the premises.

"Listen kid," Cid said gruffly, settling himself into a tattered armchair and rolling his cigar between his fingers. "I don't know what's goin' on, but Cloud doesn't need this kinda shit. You shoulda heard him when he called me this morning – I've never heard 'im sound so desperate. You scared the livin' daylights outta him with that stunt you pulled."

Roxas scowled and tried to turn on his side, away from Cid, but his back clenched and he rolled back into his previous position, hissing in pain.

"You may not like hearin' this from me, but you're gonna hear it all the same, since it seems that idiot won't say it himself," Cid continued, ignoring Roxas's glare. "Cloud's a good kid, and he's been a damn good brother to you, and if this is how you're gonna repay him…" He trailed off, jabbing his cigar back between his lips as he leaned forward. "Cloud gave up a lot for you," he growled. Roxas winced, though whether it was because of his back or a twinge of guilt, he couldn't say.

"I know," he muttered sullenly. "I know he did –"

"No you don't," Cid interrupted easily, his eyes narrowing. "You don't, 'cause he's too damn proud to tell you. But you're gettin' older, and he's finally gettin' back to where he should be – his business is doin' good and he's got himself a nice girl. Now _why_, after all he's done for you, would you get it into yer head to start actin' like this?"

Roxas turned his head away from Cid, features contorting as he fought the sting of tears at the back of his eyes. Cid watched him silently for a moment before he slapped his hands to his knees and lumbered up out of the chair. "You think on that 'til he gets back," he muttered, closing the door of his office softly behind him.

* * *

Cloud didn't say a word when he picked Roxas up, merely raised an eyebrow at his brother's limp and looked briefly at Cid. When the mechanic shrugged back at him, the older Strife sibling wrapped an arm around Roxas's shoulders and let the boy lean against him as they made their way home.

When they got back to the apartment, he lowered Roxas onto the couch and sat next to him, running a hand through his hair. "Do I have to tell you you're grounded?" he asked tiredly. Roxas shook his head, wincing as small flares of pain shot up his spine.

"How long?" he muttered, trying to find a position that didn't hurt. Cloud regarded him out of the corner of his eye.

"One week," he said. "It was gonna be two, but it looks like Cid worked you pretty hard." Roxas nodded, still trying to get comfortable.

"Ok," he hissed. Cloud got up without a word and went into the bathroom, and Roxas could hear the sounds of Cloud drawing a bath. When his brother came back out and draped one of Roxas's arms around his shoulders, Roxas smiled thinly and allowed himself to be led into the bathroom. Cloud pulled down a fresh towel and placed it within easy reaching distance of the tub, disappearing briefly and returning with a pair of Roxas's boxers and a t-shirt.

"Thanks," Roxas said softly. Cloud nodded and left, closing the door behind him. Roxas stripped and sank into the warm water slowly, moaning softly as he sat back, feeling the muscles in his back finally begin to relax. He sat in the tub until he could sit forward without pain, then quickly washed and got out, draining the water as he dried himself.

He pulled on the clothes Cloud had brought for him, then hung his towel on the rack and stepped out of the bathroom. The muted sounds of the television led him back into the living room, where his brother was sprawled across the couch, eyes closed in a light doze.

"Cloud?"

Cloud jerked at his voice, sitting up quickly and turning to face him, blinking owlishly. "What's wrong, Roxas?" he mumbled, brushing a stray piece of hair out of his face. Roxas glanced away for a moment, gathering his nerve, then turned and faced his brother again.

"I can't tell you what happened last night," he said softly. "But…it won't happen again, ok? I'm just – I'm sorry I did that to you." Cloud nodded slowly, cocking his head as he regarded Roxas somberly. The barest trace of a smile graced his lips as he sighed.

"All right," he said softly. "But," he added, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, "you're still grounded for a week." Roxas laughed, realizing that he was forgiven. Cloud pushed himself off the couch and stretched, throwing a quizzical glance at Roxas. "You hungry?"

Roxas shook his head. "I'm just gonna go to bed, ok?" Cloud nodded, and Roxas retreated to his room, snagging his cell phone and Axel's keys from his discarded jeans before he gingerly climbed into bed and pulled the covers over his legs.

He leaned his head back against the headboard as he punched in Axel's number, listening to Axel's phone ring on the other end as he fought to keep his eyes open.

"Hello?"

Roxas couldn't help the small grin that stole its way across his face at the sound of the redhead's voice. "Hi, Axel," he said softly. There was a pause on the line, and Roxas was beginning to frown when Axel spoke again, his voice suddenly stronger and noticeably more excited.

"Hey, Roxas," he grinned. "Sorry, I was in class." Roxas winced.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I can call back later." Axel laughed, and Roxas grinned again.

"Don't worry about it," he chuckled. "It was boring anyway. Listen Roxas, I kinda got in trouble at work, and I'm pulling double shifts for the rest of the week."

"Trouble?"

"Ah, yeah. Why did you think Larxene showed up at the apartment? She, uh – she stops by sometimes, brings me breakfast. Guess she won't be doing that for a while," he muttered. Roxas winced guiltily. "But, yeah – they weren't too happy when I didn't show up, so…" Axel trailed off. There was silence on the line until the redhead cleared his throat. "So, I won't have any free time 'til this weekend, and I'm gonna be helping my roommate move his stuff in Saturday, so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come over for dinner or something afterwards."

Roxas blinked. "Dinner?"

"Yeah, dinner," Axel grinned. Roxas frowned slightly.

"Are, uh, you going to be cooking?" he asked. There was a short silence before Axel erupted into laughter.

"No, no way," he howled. "_Never_ again."

Roxas grinned until he remembered he was grounded. "Uh, I'm gonna have to ask Cloud about Saturday," he mumbled. "I'm grounded for the week." Axel quieted down, his laughter dying away.

"God, you really are a kid, aren't you?" he muttered, tone despondent. Roxas frowned as the redhead groaned softly. "_Grounded_."

"I'll be eighteen in two months," Roxas snapped. Axel gave a helpless laugh.

"Well, that makes what happened last night _so_ much better," he shot back. Roxas clenched his hands, wincing as something cut into his palm. Glancing down, he saw the spokes of Axel's key chain had broken the skin; blood was welling from two shallow cuts below his index finger.

"Look, we already agreed it won't happen again," he muttered harshly, grabbing a tissue and pressing it to the cuts. Axel was silent for an endless second before he sighed heavily.

"Ok," he breathed. "Sorry. It just sort of…hit me, all right? I mean, God, Roxas –"

"I know," Roxas interrupted, smoothing his fingers over the key chain in quick, nervous gestures. "But – but ignoring it won't make it go away. Ignoring each other won't do anything. So – so I'll try to make it Saturday, ok?"

"All right," Axel sighed. "Sorry."

"Look, I'm tired, so I'm just gonna go, ok?" Roxas half-hoped Axel would keep talking, but the redhead just grunted and said good-bye. Roxas stared at the phone for a good five minutes before he flipped it closed and set it on his night table. With a mirthless laugh, Roxas wrapped the key chain in his still-bleeding hand and buried his head underneath the covers, desperately hoping he wouldn't dream.

* * *

When Roxas got to school the next morning, he was actually early by virtue of the fact that he'd barely slept, and had woken an hour before he had to get up and been unable to fall back asleep. He was sitting on the front steps, enjoying the rare sensation of not having to run for his homeroom, when Namine came up to him, face twisted in an expression caught somewhere between annoyance and concern.

"Where were you yesterday?" she demanded, her voice uncharacteristically harsh. Roxas glanced up at her in surprise and was stunned at the anger he saw in her eyes. Before he could answer, Hayner walked up behind Namine – when he caught sight of Roxas he scowled.

"What happened to your face?" Roxas asked, gaping at his friend's black eye. His gaze flicked lower to rest on Hayner's wrapped wrist. "Hayner, what the hell?" Hayner's scowl deepened as he pushed his way past Roxas, not answering his question. "Hayner –!" Namine lunged forward and grabbed his arm.

"Don't," she said curtly, expression severe. When Roxas looked at her in confusion, she sighed and led him around the corner of the building. Turning back to him, she tucked a piece of hair back behind her ear, frowning. "Roxas, _where were you_?" she sighed heavily. Roxas gazed back, perplexed. Namine frowned at his expression. "Yesterday was the Struggle match," she said quietly.

Roxas's eyes widened. He'd completely forgotten about the fight between Hayner and Seifer. "Oh shit," he breathed. No wonder Hayner had seemed so pissed. Namine nodded.

"Where were you?" she repeated, reaching out and grabbing his jacket. "You'd _never_ miss something like that unless something was wrong." Roxas glanced away from her, flushing. "Roxas, _tell me_," she insisted, her voice firm.

"I – Cloud caught me sneaking back into the apartment," he muttered. "He dumped me off on Cid for the day. I was at his garage until after six." Namine frowned in confusion.

"Caught you sneaking – Roxas, _where were you_? Just answer me, please." Roxas ducked his head as he felt the heat build in his cheeks.

"I was at Axel's," he muttered. He glanced up at Namine when her grip tightened on his sleeve, cringing internally at her shocked expression.

"Roxas, you _didn't_," she whispered, her voice thin. When he glanced away again, she released his arm and stepped forward, cradling his face in her hands as she turned his head back to her. "Roxas, _why_? You barely know him."

"I know," Roxas snapped. "I know that, I already got this lecture from Axel. _Twice_." Namine blinked, a weak smile forming on her face.

"Already got it, huh?" she breathed, pulling Roxas into a tight hug. "Oh, Roxas, what were you thinking?"

"You were the one who told me not to let him go," Roxas mumbled into her hair. Namine smacked him lightly on the back of the head.

"That is _not_ what I meant," she groaned. She pulled back with a sigh.

"What happened at the match?" Roxas asked, reaching out and capturing her hand. "Hayner didn't get those bruises from a Struggle bat." Namine sighed again, tugging him down to sit with her on the pavement, tucking her hair back behind her ears.

"They never got to the Struggle," she murmured, squeezing Roxas's hand gently. "Apparently…Vivi saw you the day you…kissed Axel." Roxas's throat constricted. "He told Rai, who told Seifer…"

"And Seifer being Seifer…" Roxas finished, his throat dry. Namine nodded.

"Hayner got mad – when Seifer started pushing him, he punched him, and…and things just went downhill from there. They really hurt each other before we could get them apart." She paused, taking a deep breath. "Hayner was so…angry. He challenged Seifer to another match, and they agreed to settle everything in the official tournament over break. But Hayner's – he's really mad at you right now," she said softly.

Roxas closed his eyes and groaned. "God, I really screwed up, didn't I?" he muttered, running a hand through his hair. Namine leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"What happened between you and Axel?" she asked. Roxas glanced up at her, relieved that the spark of anger had left her eyes.

"Things just…got out of hand," he murmured, lacing his fingers with hers. "We've agreed it won't happen again, and – and we're gonna try to get to know each other the right way." Namine nodded thoughtfully. Giving his hand another squeeze, she pulled him to his feet.

"I wouldn't tell the others about Axel just yet," she murmured. "Especially not Hayner. But talk to him, Roxas. I think you really hurt him when you didn't show up yesterday." Roxas flushed again, but he wrapped Namine into a hug.

"Thanks," he breathed. Namine ran a soothing hand through his hair before she stepped back.

"You did screw up," she said quietly, linking her arm with his. "But that doesn't mean you can't fix it."


	7. Dinner and a Diner

(A/N): Wow this chapter was a pain. I finally just walked away for a couple days, then came back, gutted it, and rewrote it. So, sorry for the wait. Reviews make me smile.

Disclaimer: Yeah, no. Just no.

Dinner and a Diner

Olette's eyes flicked over him briefly when he entered homeroom, but she quickly turned her attention back to Pence. Pence shrugged apologetically at him before he, too, averted his gaze. Roxas sighed. He didn't blame them for being upset with him. When he and Hayner argued, the others tended to avoid speaking to either of them until the conflict was resolved.

Still, he wanted to hear their views on what had happened at the Struggle match.

"Ignore me later," he said bluntly, coming to stand beside Olette's desk. The brunette jerked around and regarded him with wide eyes. "What happened at the match?" Olette fidgeted uncomfortably, but Pence spoke up.

"Seifer was just trying to get a rise out of Hayner," he said quietly. "You know they can't stand each other."

"But when he saw it really bothered Hayner, he just kept pushing," Olette cut in. "Hayner lost his temper."

"He punched him," Pence supplied. "So of course Seifer hit him back. And it just went from there."

"Why the hell would Hayner punch him?" Roxas demanded. Olette's eyes narrowed.

"Maybe because he was upset you didn't show. Maybe because he thought one of his closest friends would've mentioned kissing a stranger on the street," she said sternly. Roxas flushed as she turned away from him. Pence gave him a thin smile. It was clear they were through speaking to him until he worked it out with Hayner.

Roxas slumped into his seat, rifling through his notes without seeing them. He felt a gentle hand on his arm, but he didn't turn to look at Namine. "It's fine," he muttered. He didn't have to see her expression to know she didn't believe him.

* * *

Hayner remained stiff and unresponsive throughout the day, barely acknowledging Roxas's presence. Their shared lunch period was a tense, awkward affair, the others' eyes darting between the two friends silently, waiting for one of the boys to break and either begin yelling or apologize.

When Hayner tried to brush past him at the end of their final period, Roxas turned and dogged his steps stubbornly, following the blond out of the school and down the block in silence. He was dimly aware that Namine, Pence and Olette were trailing behind them, clustered together in an anxious knot, but he ignored them.

Hayner came to a stop so abruptly Roxas almost crashed into him. "Stop following me," he snapped. Roxas took a step back, scowling.

"No," he said curtly. "Not until you let me explain." Hayner clenched his good hand.

"Explain what?" he demanded. "Why you weren't at the match, or what Seifer said?" Roxas growled in frustration, reaching out and spinning Hayner around to face him, not flinching when Hayner punched his shoulder in retaliation.

"Both," he snapped. Hayner glared at him, crossing his arms over his chest. "Look, I'm _sorry_, all right? I really, really am. I got in a lot of trouble with Cloud, and he made me stay at Cid's garage until after six."

Hayner narrowed his eyes. "_Why_ did you get in trouble?" he asked softly. Roxas flushed, but he kept his eyes locked with Hayner's.

"What did Seifer say?" he asked quietly. Hayner scowled and glanced away for a moment.

"He said Vivi saw you wrapped around another guy," he muttered. Roxas had a feeling that wasn't _all_ Seifer had said, but he let the matter slide. Hayner cut his eyes back to Roxas's face; Roxas's flush deepened, but he didn't turn away from his friend's intense stare.

"It happened," he muttered thickly. "But it was a mistake. Things got out of hand, and Cloud caught me. _That's_ why I got in trouble." Hayner scowled and began to turn away. Roxas reached out and grabbed his unwrapped wrist, yanking his friend back around to face him. "It's the truth," he snapped.

Hayner wrenched his arm out of Roxas's grasp. "That doesn't make everything ok," he hissed. He regarded Roxas narrowly. "Don't follow me," he ordered, turning away from Roxas and continuing on his way home. Roxas watched him go silently.

He was dimly aware that the others had come to stand around him, firing worried questions at him, but he couldn't find the voice to answer. After a few moments, Olette and Pence glanced at one another before Olette stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Roxas's shoulders. "Do you wanna come over to my house with us?" she asked softly. Roxas shook his head miserably.

"I'm grounded," he muttered, running a hand through his hair tiredly. Olette gave him a brief squeeze before she stepped back.

"We'll see you tomorrow, then?" Pence asked, stepping up beside Olette. Roxas nodded distractedly, allowing Namine to link her arm with his and lead him away.

* * *

The next morning Hayner slapped a flier down on top of Roxas's desk. Roxas could just make out the promotional poster for the upcoming Struggle tournament through his friend's fingers. Glancing up, he read the challenge in Hayner's eyes. He nodded mutely.

Hayner flashed a crooked grin at him before he threw himself into his own seat, reaching out and punching Roxas's shoulder with a wry smile when the blond continued to stare down at the poster. Roxas brushed Hayner's hand away from him, but he couldn't hide his small grin.

* * *

Roxas did exactly as he was told all week, going straight back to his apartment after school, never asking if he could go out, doing all the chores Cloud assigned him without complaint. He caught Cloud staring at him suspiciously once or twice, but his brother didn't comment on his sudden dedication to housecleaning.

Finally, as Friday night rolled around, Roxas tried to broach the subject of having dinner at Axel's over lukewarm leftovers.

"Cloud?"

His half-brother raised an eyebrow at him as he forked another bite of meatloaf into his mouth. Roxas took a deep breath. "Can I go over to a friend's for dinner tomorrow?" he asked softly, trying not to sound as if he had too much vested in the question. Cloud eyed him narrowly before he spoke.

"You're grounded," he said flatly. Roxas tried not to wince.

"I know," he muttered. "I just wanted to ask." Cloud shoveled another forkful of meat into his mouth, and Roxas knew the discussion was closed. He finished his meal in silence and retreated to his room.

Digging his cell phone out of his backpack, Roxas punched in Axel's number, running a hand through his hair as he waited for the redhead to pick up. He didn't realize Cloud had followed him into his room until his brother snatched his phone away from him. Roxas scrambled to recover it, but Cloud glared at him and pointed at the bed.

"You stay there. Do not move," he said softly. Roxas sank back down, recognizing the hard glint in Cloud's eyes. Cloud turned away from him as he began speaking into the phone. "Hello, who is this? Axel? Yes, I bet you _do_ want to know who the hell this is…" Cloud's voice grew fainter as he pulled Roxas's door closed behind him and retreated down the hall.

Roxas groaned miserably, pulling his knees to his chest and leaning back against his headboard. He closed his eyes, trying to drive back the headache threatening to spread from behind his eyes. He didn't move, hoping that if he didn't acknowledge the abysmal situation, it wouldn't spiral any further out of control.

He jumped when Cloud opened his door again. His brother regarded him silently for a moment before he held the phone back out to him. "You can go," he said quietly. Roxas stared at him, mouth hanging open. Cloud scowled and stepped forward, pressing the phone into his younger brother's unresponsive hands. Roxas's mouth snapped closed, his throat working furiously as he tried to squeeze the words out.

"Wha-what did you say?" he murmured, stupefied. Cloud rolled his eyes at him as he began to pull the door closed.

"I said you can go," he repeated firmly. He gestured at the phone clutched in Roxas's hand. "He's still on the line," he added, a small smirk tugging at his lips before he pulled the door closed behind him. Roxas brought the phone to his ear slowly.

"Axel?"

The redhead didn't answer for a moment. When he spoke, he sounded dazed. "Yeah?"

"What the hell happened?" He heard Axel swallow thickly.

"I don't – I don't even know," he muttered. Roxas cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Uh, did he – did you – um… Does – does he know about –?"

"I don't think so," Axel cut in, his voice sounding a bit stronger. "And, uh, Rox? Don't tell him. I, uh, like my body parts where they are, ok?" Roxas managed a strangled laugh, feeling slightly giddy.

"Ok," he chuckled. "So, uh, since I'm apparently free, what time should I come over?"

"How about six?" Axel asked. "That should give us time to get most of the stuff out of the way. Just let yourself in, ok?"

"Yeah, ok," Roxas grinned. "I'll see you then."

Cloud didn't say a word when Roxas came back out of his room smiling, but he laughed softly when his younger brother went straight to the sink and began working on the dishes without a word.

* * *

Roxas knocked at Axel's door, waiting until he heard the muffled "It's open!" to let himself in. He froze in the doorway, eyes widening.

"You!" he exclaimed stupidly.

"Me," the guitarist agreed, grinning around a mouthful of lasagna. The musician was seated cross-legged at the low coffee table, a few stray boxes still spread around him, plate and drink settled on the table in front of him. Axel poked his head out of the kitchen.

"You two know each other?" he asked incredulously. The guitarist nodded as he swallowed.

"This is the kid who always drops money in my case," he said cheerfully, waving his fork in Roxas's direction. "At least until recently," he added, giving Roxas a mock-hurt look. Roxas fidgeted uncomfortably as Axel emerged from the kitchen with two plates of lasagna.

"That's not exactly his fault," Axel said defensively. The musician raised an eyebrow at the redhead, but Axel ignored him, settling himself on the floor and placing the plates on the coffee table. He glanced up at Roxas.

"You gonna come in or what?" he asked, smirking. Roxas scowled at him, but he moved out of the doorway before hesitantly taking a seat next to the redhead on the floor. Axel chuckled at his bemused expression, nudging a plate of lasagna at the blond.

"So he's your new roommate?" Roxas queried, gesturing at the guitarist. Axel nodded distractedly, picking up his fork.

"Yeah, Dem and I knew each other in high school," he said, attacking his lasagna with relish. He paused as if remembering something. "Dem, this is Roxas. Roxas, Dem," he mumbled through a mouthful of food.

"Dem?" Roxas blinked. "That's a weird name." Axel snorted, not looking up from his plate, but the musician just shrugged and smiled.

"It's actually Demyx," he said good-naturedly. "And I'd point out that Roxas is a pretty weird name, too."

"_Anyway_," Axel cut in smoothly, glancing up from his plate, "the point is I ran into him a couple weeks ago –" He broke off, brows drawing together as if trying to remember something. He turned to Roxas with a grin. "I actually ran into him right before _you_ slammed into me," he muttered.

"Small world," Demyx said, raising an eyebrow at Axel's expression.

"Guess so," Roxas mumbled, feeling vaguely uncomfortable when Demyx glanced at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Yeah, anyway, his rent was due to go up at the end of the month," Axel continued, oblivious to Roxas's fidgeting. "So I offered to let him move in and split the rent 60-40 if he'd cook at least four nights a week."

Roxas blinked, feeling lost. "Cook?" He could understand Axel not wanting to cook – if that last debacle was any indication, Axel avoided the kitchen like the plague.

Axel's mane of hair bobbed vigorously. "Yeah, this guy could always cook. You should've seen the breakfasts he could whip up with practically no food." Axel jabbed his fork at Roxas's plate. "The lasagna? Yeah, Dem made it." Demyx smiled, shoveling another forkful into his mouth.

"This is actually a little tribute," Demyx mumbled, looking pleased as he gestured at the three of them spread out around the coffee table. "When Axel was over we'd always eat breakfast around the coffee table." Axel grinned widely, nodding his head in agreement. Roxas felt a thin ribbon of jealousy snake through his intestines.

"So you guys were…" he trailed off uncomfortably. He saw Demyx regarding him out of the corner of his eye again, and he scowled. "Friends? In high school?" He kicked himself for being too chicken to ask what he really wanted to know. He shot a venomous glare at Demyx, but the musician's attention was once again fixed on his plate.

Axel snorted as he polished off his piece of lasagna. He and Demyx regarded one another with wide grins for a moment. "You could call it that," Axel smirked, running a hand through his hair. "It was probably the weirdest friendship either of us ever had." He turned to Roxas, pointing at the half-finished lasagna on the blond's plate. "Are you gonna eat that?"

Roxas shoved the food at him silently, trying to ignore the way his intestines were tying themselves into knots. He didn't speak again until Axel had finished his lasagna. The redhead stacked the plates on top of one another and stood, tugging on Roxas's arm when the blond didn't move.

"Help me do the dishes," he mumbled, smirking when Roxas scowled up at him. Roxas followed him into the kitchen, raising an eyebrow as he glanced around at the now-pristine counters.

"It looks a lot better in here," he commented dryly. Axel laughed as he piled the dishes next to the sink.

"Yeah, cooking's not really my thing," he muttered distractedly.

"But it's Demyx's?" Roxas winced a little at the note of jealousy in his voice. Axel turned and regarded him silently, looking as if he were trying to decide whether to laugh or not. Roxas scowled at him, elbowing him out of the way so he could fill the sink with warm water, dumping in more soap than was strictly necessary.

He jumped and colored when Axel wrapped his arms around him, the redhead's breath ghosting over his ear. "He's a friend, Roxas," Axel sighed, idly stroking Roxas's chest. Roxas scowled and pulled away, turning to face the redhead. Axel stared down at him, expression blank. He reached out a hand, running a calloused thumb over Roxas's jaw.

Roxas jerked away from him when Demyx strode into the kitchen, their glasses cradled against his chest.

"Hey, guys, you forgot these –"

He paused as he took in Roxas's flushed scowl and Axel's glare. "Uh, sorry," he stuttered, backing out of the kitchen slowly.

"It's fine," Axel snapped suddenly, turning away from Roxas and back to the dishes piled on the counter. "Do me a favor, Dem – take Roxas down to Nocturne for a while, would you? I'll meet you guys there." Demyx hesitated in the archway, but nodded vigorously when Axel scowled over his shoulder at him.

"Yeah, fine," he muttered, moving forward to place the glasses on the counter. He gestured at Roxas with a thin smile. "C'mon." Roxas opened his mouth to argue, but Demyx jerked his thumb at Axel's back and shook his head. Scowling, Roxas followed the musician out of the apartment.

Roxas didn't say a word as he trailed Demyx down the sidewalk, hands stuffed deeply into his pockets. Demyx glanced over his shoulder from time to time to make sure Roxas was still behind him, but the musician didn't try to make conversation. Roxas felt a grudging appreciation for the guitarist's reticence.

Demyx paused at a familiar café. Opening the door, he motioned for Roxas to enter. Roxas didn't move.

"Isn't this where you're always set up outside?" he asked sharply. Demyx nodded, rolling his eyes as he stepped aside to allow a middle-aged couple to exit the café.

"This is Nocturne," he muttered. "I work here. The management lets me play out front before and after my shift because it brings people in." When Roxas still didn't move he let the door fall closed. "_What _is your sudden problem with me?" he demanded irritably.

"What do you care?" Roxas shot back. Demyx frowned at him.

"It affects my earning potential," he grumbled, dragging a hand through his fair hair. "What do you think?" He shivered as a gust of wind chased itself down the street. "Can we please have this argument inside?"

Roxas stalked past him, not holding the door for him. Demyx just groaned quietly. Catching the eye of one of the waiters, he steered Roxas to a small corner booth, and two cups of coffee appeared before them in a matter of seconds.

"Is this about Axel?" Demyx asked quietly. Roxas scowled and threw back a scalding mouthful of coffee, wincing as it blistered his throat on the way down. Demyx sighed, pulling his hair out of his eyes.

"Ok, look, whatever you're thinking, you're wrong," he began, sounding tired. Roxas just glared at him. Demyx settled back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. "Axel and me," he began, staring at the ceiling, "it's weird, but we're just friends, ok? He looked out for me in high school." Roxas scowled down at his cup. Demyx sighed heavily. "Look, I don't want to have to jump through hoops every time you come over," he grumbled, pulling his hands through his hair. Roxas's scowl deepened.

"Why were you watching me like that?" he demanded, turning his cup in his hands. Demyx blinked at him, a slight flush spreading across his cheeks.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I didn't think you noticed." He ducked his head, running a nervous finger around the lip of his coffee cup. "I've never seen someone get so far under Axel's skin," he mumbled. "I was just trying to figure you out." Roxas blinked at him, hand tightening around his cup.

"What do you mean?" he asked quietly.

Demyx threw his hands into the air with an exasperated groan. "What do you think I mean?" he moaned, leaning back in his seat. "Axel's a loner, he almost never gets close to people."

"He got close to you," Roxas pointed out, frowning. Demyx groaned again, burying his hands in his hair.

"I am not going to sit here and argue with you all night," he muttered. He glanced up, locking his eyes with Roxas's. "Axel doesn't let many people in. He doesn't trust them." He leaned forward, and Roxas noticed absently that his eyes were actually blue-green. "Just…keep that in mind, ok?"

Roxas scowled, nodding jerkily. There was a short silence as Demyx sat back and sipped at his coffee, his eyes straying to the street beyond the window. The musician tapped a foot rhythmically against the table leg until he noticed Roxas scowling at him.

"Look," Demyx grumbled, "I really don't appreciate you glaring at me like that. I _told_ you there's no reason for you to be acting like such an ass." Roxas opened his mouth to snap back, but Demyx continued before he could speak. "What do I have to do to make you knock it off? And I'm _not_ moving out," he added as Roxas smirked.

Roxas reached for his coffee, scowling at Demyx's perception. He winced as a flare of pain shot through his scalded throat. He hunched his shoulders, trying not to cough. "I don't know," he muttered sullenly.

Demyx sat back with a sigh, but before he could speak his cell phone went off. Frowning slightly, he dug it out of his pocket and flipped it open. "Hello? Hey Axel."

Roxas's eyes jerked to Demyx's face as the musician nodded at whatever Axel was saying. "Yeah, we're in the corner. Uh-huh. No. No, I don't think so. Yeah." Roxas fidgeted uncomfortably as Demyx grinned. "Don't worry about it. Just finish that cigarette I know you're smoking and head over." Roxas heard Axel's aggravated shout as Demyx's grin widened. "Same to you," the musician smirked. "Yeah, bye."

He flipped his phone closed, slipping it back into his pocket as he glanced over at Roxas. "Axel's heading over," he said cheerily. Roxas nodded, turning his eyes back to his coffee. There was another short silence as Demyx resumed tapping his foot against the table leg. "So, Roxas," he said suddenly, ceasing his tapping and leaning his elbows against the table. "What do you, uh, do?"

Roxas glanced up briefly and shrugged. Demyx frowned at him. "You could at least try to make conversation," he muttered sullenly.

Roxas scowled and glanced away, noticing Axel walking toward the café, cigarette hanging from his lips as he hunched his shoulders against the wind. Demyx followed his gaze. With a wide grin he half-rose from his seat, knocking a hand against the glass and waving to catch the redhead's attention. Axel glanced up, grinning, taking one last drag on his cigarette before he flung it to the side.

Entering the café, Axel shivered at the blast of warm air before he moved over to their booth, sliding in beside Roxas, poking at the younger boy until he'd moved over and Axel had sufficient room.

"What'd I miss?" Axel asked, pushing his hair out of his face. Demyx shrugged.

"Nothing," he grinned, glancing at Roxas. Roxas hid his scowl behind his coffee cup. Axel glanced between them, his expression clearly showing he didn't believe them, but he didn't say anything, wrapping his hands around the warm cup of coffee that appeared minutes after he'd sat down.

An awkward silence settled over the table. Demyx valiantly tried to start a conversation, but Roxas refused to look up from his coffee cup, and Axel answered in monosyllables. Demyx threw his hands up in exasperation.

"Are you two going to be like this all night?" he snapped irritably. Axel glanced up, seemingly surprised at the guitarist's harsh tone. Demyx flushed slightly at Axel's expression, but he crossed his arms over his chest and turned his attention back out the window, tapping a foot testily against the floor.

Roxas cringed internally at the strained silence, darting glances between Axel's carefully blank expression and Demyx's scowl. Taking a deep breath, he asked, "So how did you two meet?"

Axel and Demyx both turned to look at him, and Roxas scowled at their slightly shocked expressions. They glanced at each other, Demyx's lips widening into a grin as Axel rolled his eyes.

"Well, it was sophomore year –"

"Don't tell the whole damn thing," Axel interrupted, groaning. Demyx flashed a wide smile, reaching over and poking at the redhead's temple.

"Aw, are you embarrassed?" he teased. Axel scowled and smacked his hand away, but Roxas could see the smirk tugging at the corner of the redhead's lips. He raised an eye at Axel, but before the redhead could answer his expression suddenly went blank. Following Axel's gaze, Roxas saw Larxene entering the café.

His stomach plummeted as her gaze fell on them. She turned her face away with a scowl, holding her shoulders painfully straight as she approached the counter. Demyx swiveled his head back and forth, his eyes sweeping from Larxene's back to the expressionless Axel. He glanced over at Roxas for clarification, but Roxas only flushed and glanced away. Frowning, Demyx turned his eyes back to Axel.

The redhead's expression was completely blank, but Roxas could see the line of tension running through Axel's throat. Fidgeting uncomfortably, Roxas lowered his eyes back to the table, scowling into what was left of his coffee.

Larxene snapped irritably at the employee behind the counter when he miscounted her change. Grabbing up her food, she turned and fixed Axel with a withering glare before she slammed her way out of the shop.

Demyx regarded Axel with a worried air, tapping a finger nervously against his cup. Axel's expression was still carefully blank, but Roxas could see a muscle in the redhead's jaw spasming. He glanced at Demyx, flushing as he raised beseeching eyes to the musician's face.

Demyx frowned slightly, his finger stilling as he cocked his head, studying the redhead's lack of expression. In a sudden burst he sat forward and poked the redhead violently in the temple.

Axel jerked and snarled, rubbing his hand against his temple, glaring at the other man. Demyx shrugged at him, grinning, before he nodded in Roxas's direction. Scowling, Axel turned and glanced down at Roxas, his expression softening as he took in the tense line of Roxas's shoulders. Sighing, Axel wrapped an arm around Roxas, pulling the younger boy into his side.

Roxas glanced over at Demyx. The musician grinned and winked at him. Roxas tried to scowl, but it came out as a grudging smile.


	8. He Kicked the Door In

(A/N): Yep, I don't have much to say, except please review, _especially_ if you have this on your faves and/or alerts. Thank you.

Disclaimer: I still don't own the characters. I'm still trying, of course, but I don't think it's gonna happen.

He Kicked the Door In...And Then He Stayed

"So you're all coming?" Roxas tucked his cell phone between his ear and his shoulder as he dug Axel's keys out of his pocket, dividing his attention between Sora's voice and trying to keep the keys from slipping out of his gloved fingers. He _hated_ the cold.

"Yeah, isn't it great?" Sora grinned. Roxas couldn't help but smile at his cousin's obvious excitement. "Riku and Kairi are gonna fly out with me. Oh, are you gonna meet us at the airport?"

"Of _course_, Sora," Roxas laughed, finally managing to get the door open in spite of his gloves. Feeling vaguely triumphant, he returned the keys to his pocket and turned his attention back to his phone. "Have you guys figured out where you're gonna stay?"

"Yeah, Cloud got us reservations at Highwind Hotel." Roxas stifled a laugh as he tried to picture Cid – gruff, surly Cid – as the concierge of the Highwind. "It'll be so cool! You can come and stay with us during break – Riku and Kairi haven't seen you in _ages_…"

Sora continued to chatter animatedly as Roxas climbed the stairs to Axel's apartment, the blond grunting occasionally to signal that he was still listening. "... and we'll be there for _two weeks_," Sora finished triumphantly.

"I _know_, Sora," Roxas laughed, giving a precursory knock at Axel's door before he entered. Demyx was seated cross-legged in the living room – he'd shoved the coffee table to the side and was bent over his guitar, absently picking a melody from the strings. He glanced up with a grin, nodding at Roxas as the younger boy closed the door behind him.

Kicking off his wet boots, Roxas waved at the musician distractedly as he settled into the armchair, lowering his backpack to the floor. It had been two weeks since the night at the café, and Roxas found himself developing a grudging friendship with the older blond. Demyx leaned his head back against the couch, his fingers stilling as he waited patiently for Roxas to get off the phone.

"So when you will be getting in?" Roxas asked, grabbing a pen from his book bag. He looked around for a spare piece of paper, grinning in thanks when Demyx ripped a corner off the scribbled music he had spread before him.

"The fifteenth. We should land around five."

"Just remember to pack for the weather," Roxas warned, scribbling the information on the scrap of paper Demyx had handed him. "We can't all live on a tropical island where the temperature never falls below sixty." Sora gave an indignant huff.

"I've visited you before, Rox," he complained. "I _know_ how to pack, thank you very much." Roxas pinched his lips together to keep from reminding his cousin about the time he'd shown up wearing shorts in the middle of January.

"Ok," he relented. "We'll meet you when you land, all right?"

"Ok," Sora grinned, good mood instantly restored. "I'll talk to you later, Roxas."

Roxas flipped his phone closed and slid it back into his backpack, waving the slip of paper at Demyx briefly before he slipped it into his pocket. "Thanks," he muttered, peeling off his gloves. Demyx nodded as he leaned back over his guitar.

"Sora?" he asked casually, pausing to scratch out a note he'd just added to his music.

"Yeah."

Leaving his jacket and gloves in the armchair, Roxas grabbed his backpack and settled at the coffee table, spreading his homework out and tapping a pencil idly against the table as he stared at his calculus notes.

"Axel called earlier," Demyx said distractedly, gathering his papers together and scooting to the side to give Roxas more room. "He got caught up at work and he's running late." Roxas nodded, not missing the contemplative glance Demyx shot at him. The guitarist was still curious about the exact nature of the relationship between Roxas and Axel. Roxas couldn't blame him – so was he.

They hadn't spoken about what had happened between them, and Axel hadn't touched him since that night in the kitchen. Roxas had developed a habit of visiting Axel's apartment after school, the mismatched furniture becoming as familiar to him as his own, working on his homework as he waited for the redhead to get back from work. Occasionally Demyx was already there, and when Axel got home they'd eat together before the redhead had to leave for his evening classes. When he didn't have class, they'd gather in the living room and watch television or play video games, and sometimes Axel would throw his arm around Roxas's shoulders, but that was it.

It was normal. It was ordinary.

It was driving Roxas insane.

Because not talking about it did nothing to relieve the tension that undercut each and every interaction they had, did nothing to address the dreams that still plagued Roxas – in the forced calm they'd built for themselves, there was the ever-present knowledge that they were only keeping something at bay, and they both knew they couldn't ignore it for much longer.

"You ok? Roxas?"

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Roxas noticed Demyx was watching him with a concerned expression on his face. He glanced down and realized he was clutching his pencil so tightly it was almost ready to snap. He forced a smile to his face as he relaxed his grip. "Yeah," he breathed, ignoring the flare of pain in his hand. "Bad day."

"Uh-huh…" Demyx's gaze didn't waver, and Roxas looked away, flushing. "What's wrong?" Demyx grinned as Roxas turned and scowled at him. "You're a bad liar, kid."

Roxas huffed at him as he dragged a hand through his hair. He turned back to his homework, determined to ignore the musician. Demyx watched him out of the corner of his eye as he bent back over his guitar.

"So are you gonna talk about it?" he asked suddenly, grinning at Roxas's expression as the younger boy turned and glared at him.

"No," Roxas said shortly, turning back to his homework.

"Do you wanna talk about something else?"

Roxas ground his teeth as he fought the urge to beat the musician over the head with his math book. "_No_."

"Well, _I_ am in the mood for some conversation," Demyx insisted, reaching out and poking at the back of Roxas's head.

"Obviously," Roxas snapped, smacking the musician's hands away from him. Roxas rolled his eyes as Demyx's grin widened and he settled back against the couch, resting his arms on his guitar.

"Come on, Roxas," Demyx wheedled. "Be nice and talk to me."

"Why?"

"Because I'm bored," Demyx shrugged.

"Read a book," Roxas muttered, hunching his shoulders as he tried to concentrate on his homework. Demyx sighed behind him and began to drum his fingers against his guitar. Roxas glanced over his shoulder, frowning. "Do you _mind_?" Demyx just lifted an eyebrow at him.

Sighing, Roxas turned away from his homework. Pushing his hair out of his face, he regarded Demyx with exaggerated frustration. The guitarist only smirked at him. "Fine," Roxas grumbled. "What do you want to talk about?"

Demyx's expression sobered. "Axel," he said quietly. Roxas flushed and began to turn away, but Demyx leaned forward and tapped the younger boy in the temple. "Don't do that," he muttered, frowning.

"There's nothing to talk about," Roxas mumbled, batting Demyx's hand away half-heartedly. Demyx sighed in exasperation.

"Look Roxas, I already told you you're a bad liar," he grumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"Ok," Roxas snapped. "If you're so desperate to talk about Axel, tell me how you two met." Demyx blinked at him, a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Axel hasn't told you about that yet?" he asked, laughing softly. Roxas smirked and leaned forward.

"When I ask he rolls his eyes and says he doesn't wanna talk about it." Demyx's grin widened.

"Sounds like him," he chuckled, absently strumming a few chords.

"So?" Roxas prompted. Demyx grinned and wagged a finger at him.

"_You_ are trying to avoid the conversation," he chided. Roxas only smirked at him. Demyx sat back with a sigh, running a hand through his hair. "Ok," he relented. "Well, there are two parts to this little story I like to tell, and Axel's embarrassed by both of 'em." Roxas nodded and grinned, settling himself more comfortably as Demyx rested his arms on his guitar again.

"The first time we saw each other, we didn't exactly meet," Demyx began, a smile tugging at his lips as he tapped a finger against his guitar. "In fact, the first time, Axel turned around and ran so quickly I was pretty damn sure I'd never see him again."

Demyx paused to laugh at Roxas's expression. "Ok, hold on, don't freak out," he gasped, wiping the tears out his eyes. "It's _not_ what you're thinking." Roxas lifted an eyebrow at him, scowl still in place. "Ok, ok – so, actually, Axel sort of walked in on me and my boyfriend when we were right in the _middle_ of, uh –" The musician broke off and howled with laughter at Roxas's expression, wiping his hands across his eyes. "I'm _sorry_," he cried. "Your – your _face_…"

"What? How the hell…" Roxas's voice trailed away as he stared at the musician, feeling slightly dazed. Demyx shrugged, tears of mirth rolling down his cheeks.

"Bathroom," he gasped out. "During the Homecoming game." Roxas groaned, flushing as he tried to fight the smirk tugging at his lips.

"Classy," he choked out. "Didn't you _think_ someone would –"

"We locked the door," Demyx interrupted, grinning widely. "I'm not _that_ stupid, kid."

Roxas paused, brows drawing together in confusion. "Then how…?" Demyx's grin widened.

"He kicked the door in," he chuckled. "He told me later he thought someone was _murdering_ me." Roxas buried his head in his hands and groaned. He could've lived a long, happy life without that particular image assaulting his brain. "Anyway," Demyx continued cheerfully, "he just sort of stood there for a second with that blank look he gets, then he just turned around and walked out again."

Roxas fought the urge to turn back to his homework. "I can see why Axel hates that story," he muttered. Demyx flushed, but he grinned and shrugged.

"Yeah, well, you asked," he teased, wagging a finger at Roxas again. Roxas groaned.

"Does the second part include…" He trailed off, scowling as Demyx's grin widened. "Because if it does, I really don't think I wanna hear it."

Demyx ducked his head, his grin gentling. "Nah, there's none of _that_," he muttered. "But you could say it happened _because_ of that." Roxas glanced up, expression softening as he took in the way Demyx's fingers were fiddling nervously with the guitar's tuners.

"What happened?" Roxas asked softly. Demyx glanced up, seemingly surprised at the gentle tone, before he shrugged and a crooked grin spread across his face. Taking a deep breath, he leaned back, locking his eyes with Roxas's.

"I was walking back from a friend's house when these two blitzball players jumped me. I was always pretty open about my orientation, and they were freshmen – probably thought they'd make themselves look good to their teammates by beating up the gay guy. I don't know. I'd been roughed up before, but those two…" He trailed off, absently drumming his fingers against his guitar.

"One of 'em pushed me – hard – and I tripped over the curb and hit my head. I don't know if it was the blood, or the fact that I was already down, but they really started in on me… It-it got pretty bad," he said, his voice small. Roxas swallowed thickly as Demyx took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. "People must've heard it," he muttered, frowning. "I mean, they _had_ to have been able to hear it, but Axel was the only one who stopped. Have you ever seen him fight?" he asked, glancing up at Roxas.

Roxas shook his head wordlessly, flushing under Demyx's gaze. "He's _amazing_," Demyx said earnestly. "He jumped right in – those kids were _blitzball_ players, they were _huge_ – and he drove 'em off in five minutes, easy. He recognized me from, uh, before, and used my cell phone to call an ambulance. He rode with me to the ER, and when they let him, he sat with me until my mom came." He paused, gazing at Roxas's face worriedly as the younger boy paled. "Are you ok?"

Roxas nodded woodenly. "I don't like hospitals," he muttered harshly. He raised his eyes back to Demyx's. "Were you all right?"

"They kept me overnight – I had a concussion, fractured wrist, and they cracked a couple of my ribs – but," he hastened to add as Roxas winced, "it could've been a lot worse." There was another short silence as Demyx fingered the frets of his guitar, his eyes far away.

"My mom –" Demyx paused, smiling at the memory. "My mom was _horrified_ at first – Axel was a mess from the fight, and he just sort of stared at her when she showed up – she thought _he_ was one of the people who'd beat me up. She got real hysterical, started screaming at him even though I told her to stop – he just let her yell, then he got up and walked out without a word. I was sure that was the last time I'd ever see him, but he visited me at home the next day after school.

"My mom felt horrible for the way she'd screamed at him, so she let him in. He came into my room and just stared at me. I kept expecting him to start telling me off or tell me it was my fault or something, but he didn't say a word – it was friggin' intimidating," he grinned, running a hand through his hair. "He finally just asked how long I'd be out. When I told him the doctor wanted to keep me out of school for at least a month to let my ribs heal, he just nodded and left. The next day he showed up with my homework – just handed it to my mom and took off.

"He came every day after that – my mom kept asking him in, but he never stayed. Finally, after two weeks, he came up with her. He didn't say a word 'til she left the room, then he dug out his cigarettes and lit up, looking at me like he was daring me to say something about it. I wouldn't have complained if he'd set the room on fire – he scared the shit outta me." Roxas snorted softly at Demyx's wry grin. The musician made a face at him. "Hey, he's mellowed _considerably_ since high school," he said defensively. "Anyway, he finally asked if I was keeping up with the homework, and when I told him I was having problems with the math, he dragged a chair over to the bed and grabbed his book out of his backpack. He wound up staying for dinner.

"He had a part-time job, so he didn't always stay, but – oh, he lied about his age on the application," Demyx mumbled in response to Roxas's raised eyebrow. "Anyway, when he didn't work, he'd stay and help me with the homework, and gradually he started staying after the homework was finished. The thing that kinda cemented it – for me, anyway – was when he showed up at my door the morning I had to go back to school. He didn't say a word, just smirked at me, but I knew he knew how nervous I was about having to go back. He – he sort of took it on himself to look after me after that," Demyx grinned. "People didn't try to mess with me once Axel started hanging around – just his _look_ was intimidating, and he wasn't shy about using his fists when he had to –"

"Damn it, Dem, you've got a big mouth," a familiar voice growled from the doorway. Demyx grinned widely as Roxas whipped around to find Axel leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest.

"Aw, what's wrong? Are you afraid to let Roxas find out you're not really the bastard you pretend to be?" Demyx teased. Axel scowled and pitched his keys at Demyx's head, the guitarist ducking and laughing as Axel rolled his eyes and closed the door behind him.

"Asshole," Axel muttered.

"You don't mean that," Demyx retorted with a sly smile, sticking his tongue out when Axel gave him the finger.

Ignoring the musician, Axel moved past the two of them, reaching out and ruffling Roxas's hair. "Hey, Rox."

"Hey," Roxas responded absently. Axel went straight out to the small balcony off the kitchen, pulling the door closed behind him. Demyx bent back over his guitar, smile still dancing in his eyes. Roxas started when the musician spoke.

"Hey, Roxas. He's gonna need his keys – that idiot'll forget he chucked them at me." With a wide smile, Demyx pressed the keys into Roxas's hands before turning back to his music. Roxas stared at him mutely for a moment before he rose on unsteady legs and followed Axel out to the balcony.

Axel was leaning on the railing, cigarette pinched between his lips as he glared at the parking lot with singular ferocity. He turned when he heard Roxas step onto the small balcony. The redhead sighed heavily, dragging a hand through his hair. "What's wrong, Roxas?"

"Was it true?" Roxas asked softly, turning Axel's keys over his hands nervously. Axel smirked tiredly, his eyes reflecting the brief glow of his cigarette as he took a deep drag.

"What, did I walk in on Dem? Yeah, and my retinas did their damnedest to commit suicide –"

"The other part," Roxas interrupted, scowling up at the redhead. Axel frowned and stared back out over the balcony.

"Dem exaggerates," he muttered. "It's not like I saved his damn life." There was a short pause as Axel took a deep drag on his cigarette, running his fingers through his hair tiredly. He glanced at Roxas out of the corner of his eye. "Where the hell's your jacket, Roxas? You're gonna get sick."

Roxas held Axel's keys out wordlessly. Axel's eyes traveled from the keys to Roxas's face – with a sigh, he pulled Roxas into a hug, resting his chin on Roxas's head, pulling his fingers through the younger boy's hair. Roxas closed his eyes as he leaned into Axel's chest, wrapping his arms around the redhead's shoulders. Axel held him silently as the gentle strains of Demyx's guitar filtered through the glass.

* * *

Namine leaned her elbows on the lunch table, resting her chin in her laced fingers. "So Sora's coming to visit over break?" she asked, smiling. Roxas nodded, poking at the suspicious lump of _something_ the school was trying to pass off as meat that was crouching on his plate. Hayner glanced up from his own questionable meal, grinning. 

"Sora's coming? When were you gonna tell us, Roxas?" he demanded, crossing his arms as he glared at his friend in mock indignation. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"He just called yesterday," he grumbled. "Gimme a break, Hayner. He's coming in the fifteenth." Hayner's grin widened.

"So he'll be here for the Struggle tournament?" When Roxas nodded, Hayner smacked a fist into his palm. "You've _got_ to get him to enter, Roxas. I've been dying to fight him since I met him." Roxas snorted.

"You met him when we were _six_, Hayner," he sighed. "Besides, I thought you wanted to fight _me_." Hayner smirked.

"Well obviously I'll wipe the floor with you in the first round." The others laughed as Roxas scowled.

"_One_ of you will probably win," Pence chuckled, reaching for his pudding cup.

"Unless Sora fights as well as Roxas," Olette cut in, tilting her head to the side in a contemplative manner. The others turned and looked at Roxas expectantly. He shrugged.

"He's pretty good," he admitted. "And I think he's been training with Riku – that guy was always insanely good in a fight."

"That _settles_ it," Hayner insisted. "You've got to make him enter, Roxas." Roxas shrugged again, toying with his fork. The bell rang, and they gathered their garbage and trickled out of the lunchroom, Hayner insisting once more that Roxas try to get Sora to enter the tournament before he left for his next class. Roxas felt a gentle tug at his shirt – when he looked back, Namine was smiling up at him.

"Do you wanna come over after school?" Roxas grinned.

"Sure."

* * *

"Uh, Namine?" 

"Roxas, I told you, _don't move_."

Roxas fought the sudden urge to scratch his nose, silently promising himself that as soon as he was allowed to move, he was going to shake the feeling back into his arms. This was _not_ what he'd expected when Namine had asked him to come over.

The petite blonde had practically dragged him into her room, where her easel was already set up; with a few short words and adjustments, Roxas had found himself in an entirely uncomfortable pose as Namine retreated back behind her easel, sweetly asking him to hold the pose "for just another minute, Roxas." Roxas felt the increasingly irresistible urge to sneeze.

After what felt like an eternity, but what the wall clock said was no more than twenty minutes, Namine hopped down from her stool, tucking her hair back behind her ear. "Thanks, Roxas," she smiled. "I was having _so_ much trouble with the proportions."

Roxas scowled at her as he tried to rub the circulation back into his arms. "You should warn me when you're going to make me pose," he muttered. Namine smiled gently.

"But you wouldn't come over if you knew I was going to make you pose," she sighed. Roxas's scowl melted into a grudging smile as she stepped forward and linked her arm with his, reaching up and pecking him on the cheek. "Besides, I always feed you after I put you through that," she added, pulling him back out of her room and into the kitchen.

Roxas allowed himself to be seated in a chair, a sandwich appearing in front of him. He watched with an amused air as Namine flitted through the kitchen, gathering ingredients and cooking utensils onto the counter. "So how are things with Axel?" Namine asked quietly. She glanced over her shoulder when Roxas didn't answer, pausing as she took in his expression. "Roxas?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Roxas mumbled, rubbing at his temple tiredly. Namine nodded silently, turning back to her preparations.

"So are you going to meet Sora at the airport?" She stiffened when Roxas wrapped his arms around her. "Roxas?"

"How do you put up with me?" he muttered into her hair. She shrugged as she pulled back, smiling up at him as she brushed a strand of hair out of his face.

"Someone has to," she said, laughing softly. Roxas grinned and drew her into another hug before he pulled away.

"Yeah, Cloud's letting me leave school early to meet him," he mumbled, returning to their earlier conversation. "Oh, and Sora's bringing Riku and Kairi with him." Namine turned and frowned as she wiped a hand across her forehead, leaving a streak of flour above her eye.

"Will there be room for all of them at your apartment?" Roxas shook his head, trying to stifle a laugh.

"No, Cloud got them reservations at the Highwind. Sora wants me to come and stay with them while they're here," he added, grinning. Namine made a distracted noise in the back of her throat as she poured something into a measuring cup. After she'd added it to the mixing bowl, she glanced over her shoulder at him.

"Do you think Cloud will let you?" she asked softly. Roxas shrugged.

"I don't know," he admitted. "But…he's been a lot less uptight lately. He didn't even freak out at me when I forgot to call about missing dinner the other day." Namine raised her eyebrows in silent question. Roxas shook his head. "I don't know – he's just a lot more relaxed since –" Roxas's eyes widened. "Since he talked to Axel," he breathed. He glanced up at Namine, shocked when he saw she was smiling softly at him. "What?"

"Roxas, you always draw away when I try to talk to you about Axel," she sighed. "But even Cloud can tell – you're the only one who can't see." Roxas frowned at her.

"See what?" he demanded. Namine only smiled at him and turned back to her mixing bowl. Before Roxas could repeat his question, she'd turned the conversation to the Struggle tournament, asking if he thought Sora would really participate. She filled the air with idle chatter as she spooned the batter onto two cookie sheets, coming to sit next to him as she waited for the timer to sound, laughing softly when Roxas reached up and wiped the flour off her face.

Roxas tried to return to his question, but Namine could be just as stubborn as he could; she only smiled softly and turned the conversation again, until he slumped in his seat, defeated. Laughing softly, Namine scraped a dozen slightly burnt cookies into a bag for him, ushering him out the door with a final parting shot: "You're allowed to be happy, Roxas. Stop thinking about it so hard."

Roxas scowled at her closed door before he turned and began the walk back to his own apartment. Demyx waved him down as he passed Nocturne, the musician's eyes lighting up at the sight of the bagged cookies in Roxas's hand.

"Are those for me?" he grinned, stuffing his hands into his sleeves. Roxas lifted an eyebrow as the musician shivered.

"Why are you out here?" he asked incredulously. "You're gonna get frostbite." Demyx only rolled his eyes.

"_Because_," he groaned, "I make almost as much out here as I do in _there_." He jerked his head at the café. Roxas grinned, swinging the cookies from his fingers.

"Tell ya what," he smirked. "Buy me a cup of coffee and I'll split the cookies with you. _But_ you have to put the guitar up for the day." Demyx frowned at him, but Roxas only cocked an eyebrow. The musician shivered again.

"All right," he mumbled, lifting the strap over his head. Roxas waited until Demyx had his guitar back in the case, then they entered the café. Demyx wrapped his chapped hands around a steaming cup of coffee, grinning widely as Roxas dumped the cookies out onto a plate, the younger boy grumbling when the musician stuffed three in his mouth at once.

Roxas was only mildly surprised when Axel showed up, the redhead poking the younger boy to the side so he could slide into the booth beside him, smacking Demyx's hands away from the cookies and stealing a few for himself. Axel threw his arm around Roxas's shoulders, giving him a quick squeeze as he traded insults with Demyx. As he listened to them bicker, Roxas propped his chin in his hand and grinned in amused exasperation.


	9. Sora, Struggle, and Sunrise

(A/N): Hooray for semi-fast updates! I had fun with this chapter, so I hope you enjoy it. Please remember to review, it makes me smile!

Disclaimer: This is starting to get a little redundant, isn't it?

Sora, Struggle, and Sunrise

"Roxas!"

Roxas watched Sora bound down the short hallway with a wide grin, bracing himself as his cousin threw his arms around him in a tight bear hug. Roxas staggered slightly, arms trapped at his sides as Sora did his best to squeeze the air from his lungs.

"Hi, Sora," Roxas managed thinly.

"Sora!"

Glancing over his cousin's head, Roxas smiled as a laughing Kairi jogged toward them, the petite redhead stepping forward and gently prying Sora's arms away from Roxas. "Let him breathe, Sora," she chuckled.

Roxas raised an eyebrow as Sora stepped back, the brunette mumbling an apology as he pushed the sleeves of his oversized sweatshirt back up over his wrists. "What are you wearing?" Roxas asked incredulously. Sora pouted as Kairi laughed again.

"He forgot to bring any warm clothes in his carry-on," she explained, ruffling Sora's hair affectionately. Sora shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest with an abashed grin.

"Riku lent me one of his sweatshirts," he mumbled, scuffing his toe against the carpet.

"A little help, guys?"

Riku rounded the corner with Cloud in tow, the two of them weighed down under the three friends' luggage. Sora immediately swept toward the two of them, grabbing his carry-on from Riku and trying to throw his arms around Cloud despite the number of suitcases the blond was trying to keep a grip on. Rolling his eyes, Riku grabbed the younger boy's shoulder, forcing him to wait as Cloud carefully lowered the luggage to the floor before he stepped forward and wrapped his young cousin in a quick hug.

Riku flicked his eyes over to Roxas and Kairi as they approached, regarding Roxas coolly from behind silver bangs before he nodded in greeting. Roxas nodded back with a small smirk – some things never changed. He and Riku got along for Sora's sake, but they'd never been quite comfortable with one another.

Smiling, Kairi stepped forward and lightly tapped Riku on the chest. "Stop scowling," she scolded, dipping her head in Sora's direction. The brunette was stepping back from Cloud, slinging his carry-on over his shoulder and grabbing a suitcase from the blond. Grinning widely, he turned to Roxas.

"Cloud said you can stay with us!" he cried triumphantly, the sleeves of his sweatshirt once again slipping past his wrists as he swung the suitcase from his fingers. Roxas looked at Cloud, doing his best to keep his mouth from falling open. His brother scowled at him as he grabbed the two remaining suitcases.

"Not tonight," he muttered. "But you can go when school lets out. I got you guys two rooms."

A disbelieving smile spread across Roxas's face as Sora led them out of the small airport, chattering excitedly about all the things he wanted to do and see while they were there. Hailing a taxi, they loaded the luggage into the trunk and the four teenagers squeezed into the back seat, Cloud giving the driver directions to the Highwind before he tapped on Roxas's window.

"Get the unpacking taken care of and then bring everyone back to the apartment for dinner," he instructed, handing over enough money to cover the cab fare. Roxas nodded, smiling, and Cloud stepped back as the taxi pulled away from the curb.

* * *

"Oh wow, this place is _huge_," Sora cried happily, lacing his fingers behind his head as he gawked up at the lobby's ceiling.

"Sora…"

With a crooked grin, Sora turned and grabbed his bags from Roxas. Riku brought in the last of the luggage as Kairi got their room keys from the reception desk. Bouncing back on his heels, Sora smiled as she walked over and grabbed her carry-on. "We're on the second floor," she said cheerfully, waving the keys at them.

Nodding, Riku grabbed up what remained of the luggage. "Lead the way," he grinned, shaking his hair out of his eyes.

As soon as they were in the room, Sora began to poke into every corner, exploring the closet, the chest of drawers, the bathroom – Roxas couldn't help laughing as his cousin even peered behind the heavy curtains, a look of complete and utter satisfaction on his face.

"So, we get a free breakfast, and we'll eat dinner with you, right?" Kairi asked, testing the keys in the door joining the two rooms. Roxas nodded.

"Yeah. Speaking of which, you guys need to get unpacked so we can go eat." Sora's stomach rumbled, seeming to speak for them all.

* * *

"So I could still enter?" Sora asked excitedly, vigorously twirling his fork in his spaghetti. Roxas nodded.

"Yeah, registration's open for another two days," he grinned, snatching the last piece of garlic bread from under Riku's fingers. Riku scowled at him as he stuffed it into his mouth with a smirk.

"Can we go tonight?"

"The office is closed, Sora," Cloud said, a small smirk tugging at his lips. "Roxas can take you tomorrow after school." Sora nodded, kicking one leg against his chair. He glanced over at Roxas.

"What are we supposed to do all day while you're in school?" he complained, wiping tomato sauce off his cheek. Roxas shrugged.

"You could show Riku and Kairi around," he offered, glancing at the two friends. "They've never been out here before." Kairi nodded and smiled.

"As long as he doesn't get lost," she said teasingly. Sora threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

"Hey! It only happened once!" he cried. Riku smirked.

"Yeah, but we were lost for _hours_, Sora," he mumbled around a mouthful of spaghetti. Roxas raised an eyebrow in question and Riku rolled his eyes. "Sora wanted to go exploring on that little island – do you remember that place?" Roxas nodded, smirking.

"How did you manage to get lost on that tiny island?" he chuckled. Sora frowned and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Everything starts looking the same once you get into the trees," he grumbled. "Besides, I was _ten_, guys. Give me a _little_ credit."

The three friends continued to bicker, and Roxas grinned widely when he glanced over to find that even Cloud had a small smile on his face. When they'd finished their meal, Kairi helped Cloud gather the dishes and followed him into the kitchen to help with the washing up. The three boys moved into the living room, settling across the couch and armchair.

"So Riku, do you think you'll enter the tournament?" Roxas asked, lifting an eyebrow at the silver-haired senior. Riku shrugged as Sora grinned widely.

"You should enter, Riku!" the brunette insisted, reaching over and poking at his friend's forehead. Riku rolled his eyes and smacked Sora's hand away.

"I don't think so," he said slowly. Sora immediately crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

"Aw, why not?" he demanded.

Riku glanced at Roxas out of the corner of his eye, and Roxas blinked. Riku was regarding him with an expression Roxas had never seen on the other boy's face. "What's your –" He paused when Riku narrowed his eyes. Riku jerked his head in Sora's direction, shaking his head. When Riku turned his face away from him, Roxas shifted uncomfortably, images of a devastating battle flashing through his mind, the pity in a cloaked figure's voice when he'd learned a Nobody's fate.

"Leave him alone, Sora," he muttered, feeling shaken. Sora glanced between them, brow furrowed in confusion, but the smallest trace of a smile graced Riku's face as he nodded in appreciation.

* * *

"So Sora _is_ going to enter, right?" Hayner asked for the tenth time, grinning widely. Roxas rolled his eyes as he shifted his backpack further up his shoulder.

"_Yes_, Hayner, he's entering. I'm gonna take him to the registration office today, ok?" Hayner thumped him on the shoulder before he took off down the street. Roxas sighed in exasperation as Namine slipped her arm into his. "_He's_ excited," Roxas muttered. Namine laughed softly.

"What about Riku?" she asked. Roxas shrugged.

"He's not entering," he mumbled, pushing his hair out of his face. He didn't want to think about _why_ Riku had refused to enter. Seeing his expression, Namine nodded, keeping her arm linked with his until they reached the Highwind. At Roxas's knock, Sora opened the door with a wide grin, his brown spikes in disarray.

"Hey Roxas! We just got back." Roxas nodded as he stepped inside, bringing Namine with him. Kairi was curled up on the bed, reading a book. She looked up and gave a small wave, smiling. Riku was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Riku?" Roxas asked. Sora grinned.

"He's down at the buffet. He said he couldn't wait for dinner – he's gonna bring us some food." Roxas shook his head, grinning.

"Hey Sora, you remember Namine, don't you?" he asked, pulling the petite blonde forward. Sora's face lit up as he threw his arms around her.

"Namine! I haven't seen you in years! How've you _been_?" Namine looked slightly overwhelmed, but she hugged the exuberant brunette back.

"I'm fine, Sora," she smiled. "What about you?" Sora stepped back, lacing his fingers behind his head, grinning widely.

"I'm good," he said cheerfully. "Oh, have you met Kairi?" Before Namine could get another word in, Sora had grabbed her wrist and was dragging her over to the redhead, Kairi laughing as she pulled the slightly dazed Namine onto the bed with her, setting her book aside. As the two girls began to talk, Sora sidled back up to Roxas. Dipping his head in Namine's direction, he let a soft smile play over his features. "Are you guys finally…" He trailed off, lifting his eyebrows at Roxas.

Roxas shook his head. "Nah, we're just friends," he muttered. "She's like a sister, you know?" Sora nodded, looking thoughtful. Tugging on a brown spike, he glanced back at the bed before herding Roxas out of the room, closing the door behind them.

"Hey Rox?"

"Yeah?"

Sora flushed and scuffed his toe against the carpet. "I – never mind," he muttered. Roxas frowned at him in confusion, but before he could ask, a hand clapped him on the shoulder and he looked up to find Riku standing behind him, holding a plate piled high with all manner of food.

"Hey Roxas," he said blandly, moving past him and ruffling Sora's hair. "What's wrong with you, Sora?" Sora shook his head and grinned.

"Nothing," he insisted, brushing his hands through his hair. Riku lifted an eyebrow at him, but he shrugged and walked past him.

"Ok." Opening the door, he paused as he took in Kairi and Namine on the bed, heads together as they conversed as if they'd known one another for years. "Uh, hi." Kairi looked up with a smile, sliding off the bed to take the plate of food from Riku.

"Hey Riku. This is Namine, Roxas's friend." Riku nodded, holding out his hand. Namine shook it with a soft smile as Sora and Roxas wandered back into the room, Roxas frowning as his cousin continued to avoid his gaze. Noticing Sora's forlorn expression, Kairi stepped forward and tugged gently at his hair.

"What's with that face?" she asked with a small smile. Sora glanced up at her, a sunny grin spreading over his face as he reached up and tangled his fingers with hers.

"Nothing," he laughed, turning back to Roxas. "So when are we gonna get going, already?" Shaking his head in exasperation, Riku grabbed the plate of food and stuck it in the fridge, grabbing Sora by the back of the neck as he steered the younger boy out the door, Kairi laughing as Sora squawked in protest.

Returning to Roxas's side, lacing her fingers with his, Namine smiled at the three friends preceding them out of the hotel. "They seem nice," she sighed. Roxas grinned down at her.

"You ok?" Namine made a small face at him.

"I'm_ fine_, Roxas," she sniffed. "Sora can just be a bit…overpowering." Laughing, Roxas wrapped her in a one-armed hug as they left the Highwind behind.

When they caught up with him, Sora had wrapped both Kairi and Riku's arms in his own and was dragging his friends down the street as he chattered cheerfully. Coming to an abrupt halt at the corner, he turned back to Roxas with an embarrassed smile. "I don't know where I'm going," he muttered, punching Riku in the arm when the older boy laughed at him.

Shaking his head, Roxas moved to the head of the small group, smiling as the chatter and laughter danced in the air around him.

* * *

The day of the Struggle tournament, Sora dragged Roxas out of bed in the small hours of the morning, hauling his bleary-eyed cousin down to the lobby. Yawning widely, Roxas wiped the sleep out of his eyes as he collapsed into an over-stuffed chair. "What are you doing, Sora?" he mumbled. "It's too early."

Sora grinned at him, pushing his mussed hair out of his eyes. "Sorry," he muttered. "I can't sleep." Roxas scowled, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly.

"So why didn't you drag Riku or Kairi out of bed?" he grumbled. Sora tugged on a messy strand of hair, chewing thoughtfully at his bottom lip. Shrugging, he flashed a quick, uncertain grin.

"I thought it could be a, you know, bonding experience," he mumbled, looking slightly put off that Roxas was clearly not excited about being dragged out of a warm bed before the sun had risen. Sighing heavily – only Sora could make him feel guilty about being irritable so early in the morning – Roxas dragged a hand through his hair, doing his best to shake his brain into working order.

"Ok," he sighed. "What are we bonding over?" Grinning, Sora held out Roxas's jacket, and Roxas blinked stupidly at it for a moment – he hadn't even noticed Sora had grabbed it on the way out of the room.

"Come on, put it on," Sora urged impatiently, shoving his arms into his own jacket. Bending down, he retrieved two pairs of sneakers from the floor, and Roxas could only roll his eyes and groan.

"Sora, when the hell did you grab all that stuff?" he muttered, the task of shoving his arms into his jacket sleeves suddenly ridiculously complicated. Sora grinned at him.

"Oh, I brought this stuff down before I got you up," he said cheerfully. Roxas closed his eyes and rubbed his temple tiredly. Laughing, Sora smacked him lightly over the head, pushing the sneakers into Roxas's hands. "Come _on_, Roxas, we're gonna miss it."

Dragging the muttering blond behind him, Sora returned to the elevators, shoving Roxas in and hitting the button for the top floor. Roxas raised an eyebrow at him, but Sora only grinned, lacing his fingers behind his head and rocking back on his heels as he leaned against the wall.

When the doors opened, Sora grabbed Roxas and dragged his cousin to the stairwell and up to the roof. Roxas shivered as Sora shoved the door open, wondering idly who'd left it unlocked. Grinning, Sora tugged Roxas across the roof impatiently, the blond stumbling over his own feet as he stifled another yawn. "Sora, what the heck are we doing up here?" he groaned.

"Stop complaining," Sora scolded, hair stirring in the slight breeze. "_We_ are going to watch the sunrise." The brunette pointed to the pale glow of the pre-dawn visible on the broken horizon. Roxas bit back another groan, smiling thinly as Sora beamed in perfect contentment. Settling next to his cousin, Roxas rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"Do you do this every day?" he asked wearily. Sora shrugged.

"No. But I'm pretty sure _you've_ never voluntarily watched a sunrise," he grinned. Roxas chuckled, pulling his fingers through his hair and shivering slightly in the cold air.

"I prefer sunset," he muttered. Sora huffed at him.

"You would," he mumbled. He leaned back on his hands, head tilting as he studied the brightening horizon. "We used to do this a lot when we were kids," he murmured, a soft smile flitting across his face. Roxas raised an eyebrow, but Sora didn't elaborate.

They watched the sun come up in silence, and though Roxas was quickly losing feeling in his nose and fingers, he did have to admit that it was pretty – the light bleeding into the twilit sky as the stars gradually disappeared in the brightening canopy. When the sun was fully up, Sora pushed himself to his feet, brushing the seat of his pants and reaching down to help Roxas to his feet.

They descended the stairs quietly, both wrapped in their own thoughts. It wasn't until he was sliding back under his sheets that Roxas turned to his cousin. "Hey Sora?"

Sora paused, jacket still clutched in his hands, head tilted to the side. Roxas grinned as he pulled the sheets back up to his chin. "Thanks," he muttered, and Sora smiled widely and nodded before he hung up his jacket and moved back to his own bed.

When Sora shook him awake some hours later, Roxas groaned and did his best to disappear under the comforter. With an irritated huff, Sora grabbed hold of his sheets and dragged them off him, poking at Roxas's temple with a bright grin. "Come on, it's time to get up, Rox," he sang, laughing when Roxas smacked his hand away. Pulling himself upright with a groan, Roxas wiped the sleep out of his eyes as he regarded his cousin with poorly concealed irritation.

"What time is it?" he mumbled. Rolling his eyes, Sora tugged him out of bed, steering him toward the bathroom.

"It's a little after nine," he muttered. "We have to be there at eleven to sign in, right?" At Roxas's distracted nod, he gave the blond an emphatic shove. "Well then _you_ need to join the living," he grinned. "Come on, Riku and Kairi are already up and eating breakfast downstairs."

Grumbling under his breath, Roxas stumbled into the bathroom, Sora closing the door after him. Yawning widely, he stepped into the shower, trying to use the cold water to shock himself awake. When he staggered back into the bedroom, Riku and Kairi were sitting on the bed with Sora, sharing a plate of fruit. Roxas yelped and ducked back into the bathroom, clutching his towel around him.

Laughing, Sora slid off the bed and handed Roxas his duffel bag. "Shut up," Roxas growled, smirking in spite of himself as he slammed the door in his cousin's face.

When he was dressed, he poked his head out cautiously, rolling his eyes when he saw Sora sitting on the edge of the bed, swinging his legs and grinning at him. "Riku and Kairi are in the lobby," he said cheerfully, ignoring the glare his cousin shot at him.

"Yeah, thanks for letting me know they were in here," Roxas grumbled, running a hand through his hair. Sora shrugged.

"I didn't hear the water shut off," he sighed. When Roxas continued to glare at him, he turned his face away from him, sniffing. "Look, I'm sorry, ok? But Kairi didn't see anything, so quit freaking out." Before Roxas could answer, Sora pushed himself up, bounding over to the door. "Are you ready to go?"

Rolling his eyes, Roxas followed Sora out the door and down to the lobby, doing his best to ignore Riku's amused smirk as they headed for the tournament.

* * *

Roxas hung back as Sora ran ahead to sign them in, staring up at the dome of the community center and shivering slightly in the cold air.

"Roxas!"

Turning, Roxas grinned as Hayner walked up to him, his friend clapping him on the shoulder as he looked around. "Is Sora here?" Roxas rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"He's signing us in," he muttered. Hayner nodded, his expression suddenly darkening. Following his gaze, Roxas saw Seifer entering the center. When Seifer saw them he smirked and turned his back on them. Glancing at Hayner out of the corner of his eye, Roxas saw his friend's hands had tightened into fists. "Relax, Hayner," he muttered. "He's not worth it." Hayner scowled, dragging a hand through his hair.

"I'm gonna go sign in," he growled. Roxas sighed as he watched him stalk off.

"What's wrong with you?"

Spinning around, Roxas gaped at Axel, the redhead smirking as he dropped his cigarette to the pavement. Axel rolled his eyes. "Don't look at me like that," he grumbled. "You asked me to come, remember?" Roxas nodded, a small grin spreading across his face.

"I thought you said you couldn't," he muttered. Axel shrugged, glancing off to the side.

"I had some free time." Roxas's grin widened as Axel turned his eyes back toward him, a smirk tugging at his lips.

"Hey, we're all signed in!" Sora called, running back to Roxas's side. He paused as he saw Axel. "Who're you?" Axel glanced at Roxas with a lost expression on his face, and Roxas fought the urge to laugh in the redhead's face.

"Sora, this is, um – this is Axel. Axel, this is my cousin, Sora." Axel nodded and extended a hand, looking slightly taken aback when Sora took it in both of his and began to shake it vigorously.

"So you're a friend of Roxas's?" Sora asked, smiling widely. Axel lifted an eyebrow and smirked.

"Sure," he chuckled. Sora nodded, dropping the redhead's hand and lacing his fingers behind his head.

"Nice to meet you," he said cheerfully. "Are you staying for the tournament?" Axel nodded, looking increasingly amused as Sora bounced back on his heels.

"Sora!"

Sora's head whipped around, and he waved back at Kairi before turning back to Roxas and Axel. "I'm gonna head in, Roxas. We're just gonna look around, ok?" Roxas nodded and Sora smiled up at Axel one more time. "It was nice meeting you."

"Same here," Axel murmured, shaking his head and grinning as Sora bounded over to his friends. He glanced over at Roxas, lifting an eyebrow. "Is he always that…?"

"Hyper?" Roxas offered, grinning as he watched Sora get dragged back into the convention center by his two friends. Axel chuckled.

"I was gonna say spastic, but hyper works," he grinned, reaching out and wrapping Roxas in a one-armed hug. Roxas grinned.

"He's just excited," he muttered, stepping back and running a hand through his hair.

"Uh huh," Axel smirked. Roxas made a face at him.

"Roxas!"

They both turned and watched Namine jog toward them, the petite blond reaching up and pecking Roxas on the cheek as she tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear. "Have you seen Hayner?" Roxas nodded, trying to ignore Axel's scowl.

"He headed in already," he sighed. "He…saw Seifer." Namine's eyes widened.

"Oh," she said softly. She looked at her feet for a moment, then turned and looked up at Axel, tilting her head. The redhead was still watching her with a sour expression, but Namine only smiled gently. "It's Axel, right?"

Axel blinked, his sour expression vanishing as he glanced over at Roxas. Roxas only shrugged at him. Rolling his eyes, Axel turned back to Namine. "Yeah, I'm Axel." Namine stared at him another moment, Axel glancing helplessly at Roxas, before she smiled again and grabbed his wrist.

"Could I talk to you for a moment?" she asked. Axel blinked at her, clearly at a loss for what to say. Namine turned and gave Roxas a reassuring smile. "We'll be right back, ok, Roxas?" Roxas could only nod, dumbfounded, as Namine led Axel a few feet away, the redhead shooting confused looks over his shoulder at him.

Roxas watched them for a moment, but he couldn't hear what they were saying, so he stuffed his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders against the cold, idly watching the people moving around the community center's doors. When Namine led Axel back over to him, the redhead had a strange look on his face – he looked both vaguely impressed and highly amused, and Roxas raised an eyebrow at Namine, but she only smiled. "I'm gonna go get a seat, ok? I'll be cheering for you and Hayner," she smiled, giving him a quick hug before she turned and walked into the center. Roxas turned to Axel, the redhead digging another cigarette out of his pocket.

"What the heck was that about?" Axel grinned widely as he settled a cigarette between his lips.

"I do believe I just got the talk," he smirked, fiddling with his lighter. When Roxas raised an eyebrow at him, the redhead shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. "The best friend talk," he grinned. "The 'make him happy or I'll rip off your balls and feed 'em to you' talk." Roxas's eyebrow traveled a little higher.

"From _Namine_?" Axel grinned absently, staring after the petite blond.

"She's not as sweet as she looks," he muttered, laughing a little. When Roxas continued to stare at him, Axel drew him into a rough hug, ruffling the younger boy's hair. Roxas pushed him away, but he couldn't help grinning as he turned and led him into the building.


	10. We Need to Talk

(A/N): Wow, you guys have been great so far. A huge thank you to those who've commented, added this your to faves/alerts, or just plain read this. I can't believe this thing broke a hundred reviews. Really, thank you.

Disclaimer: Refer to the first chapter.

We Need to Talk

The noise from the stands washed over Roxas as he led Axel inside, the redhead still grinning widely. Ignoring him, Roxas looked around for Sora, finally spotting his cousin squeezed into a corner, smiling as Namine introduced Hayner, Pence, and Olette to Riku and Kairi. The small group looked up as Roxas and Axel walked up to them.

"Hey guys," Roxas grinned, running a hand through his hair. Namine came to stand beside him, linking her fingers with his. Roxas didn't miss her small smile or the glance she threw at Axel, but the redhead's grin only widened before Sora dragged him forward, introducing him to Riku and Kairi. Hayner came up to him, grinning.

"Sora and I have a match in the third round," he announced, looking extremely pleased. Roxas smirked at him.

"Think you can last three rounds?" he asked, lifting an eyebrow at his friend. Hayner punched his shoulder, his grin widening.

"Have you _seen_ the people that've signed up this year? There's hardly any competition!" Hayner huffed. He glanced at Sora out of the corner of his eye – the brunette still had a death grip on Axel's wrist. "Is he entering?" Hayner asked, dipping his head in Axel's direction. Roxas shook his head, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"No, he's – he's a friend," he muttered uncomfortably. "I asked him to come." Hayner squinted at him, tilting his head to the side, before he shrugged.

"One less fighter to worry about," he grinned, thumping Roxas on the back. "Cheer up, man – you've been waiting for this for weeks." Roxas nodded, a thin smile spreading over his lips as he shoved Hayner off him. Hayner only chuckled.

"Roxas, we're going to take Axel and get seats, ok?" Kairi was already leading Axel away as she spoke – Axel looked a little unsure about how he had wound up in such a predicament, and Roxas stifled the urge to laugh at his expression.

"We'll go, too, guys," Olette chimed in, grabbing Pence and Namine and following the other three. "We'll be cheering for you, ok?"

Hayner, Sora, and Roxas looked at each other for a moment before they smiled and turned, heading for the hallway, searching for the small rooms set aside for the Struggle fighters. Roxas threw a glance over his shoulder before they left the gym behind, grinning as he found Axel's head of hair in the stands, the redhead apparently fending off several questions being fired at him by curious friends.

"So how long have you known him?"

Roxas dragged his attention back to Hayner, blinking as he tried to process his question. "Who?" Hayner shrugged, jerking his head back toward the gym doors.

"Him. The guy that came in with you." Roxas shifted on his feet uncomfortably, pushing his hair out of his face.

"A little over a month?" he guessed, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets and hunching his shoulders. Hayner nodded, looking thoughtful, absently rubbing his chin.

"What's his name?" Roxas glanced at Sora out of the corner of his eye, but his cousin had wandered further down the hall, fingers laced behind his head as he observed all the activity around him with a curious air.

"Axel," he muttered, trying not to fidget under Hayner's stare. Hayner glanced back at the doors, pausing in the hall. Roxas reluctantly halted beside him, staring at the top of his sneakers.

"Is he the one you…?" Hayner trailed off, stuffing his own hands in his pockets, still gazing at the gym doors. Roxas could feel the heat building up his neck, but he shrugged jerkily.

"Yeah."

"Oh." Hayner was silent for a timeless second, and Roxas could feel the heat spreading to his cheeks. Hayner turned and looked at him, expression blank, before he shrugged and a tiny grin crept across his features. "Ok, then," he muttered, moving further down the hall. Roxas stared after him, mouth hanging open, until Hayner turned and grinned at him over his shoulder. "You gonna stand there all day?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Roxas's mouth snapped closed; with a wry grin he shook his head and moved to catch up with his friend.

* * *

Roxas gripped the Struggle bat in his hands, eyeing the man standing before him. He'd introduced himself as Setzer, then proceeded to blatantly ignore Roxas's presence, turning and waving at the spectators, greeted with shrill cries that Roxas suspected would soon cause his ears to begin bleeding.

Apparently the referee was at a loss, as well, because he was simply regarding the man with a lost air, his whistle clutched in his hand, occasionally glancing at Roxas as if expecting him to fix things. Roxas rolled his eyes at him, resting the bat against his shoulder as he waited for the silver-haired man to turn his attention back to the ring.

Casting a glance across the floor, he watched Sora and Hayner circle one another, brows set in concentration. Sora sprang forward, bringing his bat arcing toward Hayner's head, but the blond blocked it, pushing Sora back and swinging at his stomach. Sora jumped back, springing forward again almost immediately, scoring a glancing blow off Hayner's shoulder.

Roxas dragged his attention back to his own ring as the screams finally died away. Setzer turned back to him, lifting one elegant eyebrow as Roxas scowled at him. "Ready when you are, kid," he said lazily, a small grin stealing its way across his features. Roxas dropped back into a fighting stance, scowl deepening when Setzer remained standing aloofly with his bat resting against his shoulder.

At the referee's whistle, Setzer darted forward, and Roxas barely had time to raise his bat to block a flurry of quick jabs. Dancing away from the man, Roxas narrowed his eyes. Apparently he wasn't the fop he appeared to be.

Setzer smirked at him before he darted forward again, raining a flurry of attacks on Roxas's right side, forcing the blond toward the corner. Roxas ducked under the man's bat and rolled behind him, springing to his feet in time to block a blow aimed at his shoulder. He back-stepped quickly, trying to remain just beyond Setzer's reach.

Roxas was dimly aware of the crowd's excitement as they circled one another, neither one able to land a solid hit. Setzer kept trying to box Roxas into a corner, and it was becoming increasingly difficult for Roxas to avoid it. Narrowing his eyes, Roxas took another step back – and stumbled. The crowd gasped as Setzer lunged forward, Struggle bat raised, but Roxas spun away from him, relishing the shocked expression on the older man's face as he shot past him. Roxas brought his Struggle bat crashing down across the other's back, smirking as Setzer fell to the floor, his bat flying out of his hands.

The shrill sound of the referee's whistle announced the end of the match, and Roxas turned and grinned into the stands, waving when he spotted his friends jumping up and down and screaming his name. Even Axel was standing, hands stuffed in his pockets as he grinned down at him. The referee stepped forward, grabbing Roxas's wrist and dragging it into the air, and Roxas dropped the bat to the floor as he tried to catch his breath.

Setzer got to his feet and turned to him, brushing his hair out of his face. He looked Roxas over once, eyebrow lifting again, before he extended his hand. "It was a good match," he said dryly. "You're not bad, kid." He smirked at Roxas's expression before he turned and walked away, waving one hand lazily over his shoulder.

The moderator was announcing that there would be a half-hour break before the final two matches as Roxas jumped out of the ring, his friends swarming around him with cries of congratulations. Axel held back, hands still stuffed in his pockets, but he caught Roxas's eyes, and they grinned at one another silently as the others did their best to smother Roxas.

The others finally stepped away from him as Sora and Hayner jogged up to them, the brunette grinning widely as he wrapped Roxas in a hug. "Great fight, Rox!" he cheered. Roxas raised an eyebrow at him.

"You watched it?" he asked in surprise. "I thought you and Hayner had a match." Sora stepped back, grinning.

"We did, but that guy took so long dealing with his fans that we finished before you guys did." Roxas glanced over at Hayner, lips twitching.

"So? Who won?" Hayner smirked at him.

"I lost," he muttered. "Which means it's only you, Sora, and Seifer. _One_ of you has to beat that –"

"Hayner!" Olette scolded, frowning.

"– for me," Hayner finished, crossing his arms over his chest. Sora cocked his head, his eyes moving from Hayner to Roxas curiously. Noticing his expression, Hayner raised his eyebrows at Roxas. Roxas scowled and threw his arm around his cousin's shoulders, leading him away from the group.

"I'm gonna take Sora to get some water, ok guys?" he asked, throwing a glance at them over his shoulder. Riku stepped forward.

"Do you want us to come with you?" Roxas shook his head.

"Thanks anyway, Riku, but I need to talk to Sora, ok?" he asked, ignoring the inquisitive stare Sora had pinned him with. Riku nodded, stepping back into the group, turning and smiling when Kairi tugged on his sleeve and pointed at the snack bar, clearly trying to distract the older boy's attention.

Axel was watching him silently, features carefully blank, and Roxas nodded at him wordlessly. Axel swallowed thickly and ducked his head, the tension apparent in his shoulders. Roxas slowed his pace, trying to catch his eye again, not noticing the discarded Struggle bat until it rolled underneath his foot.

With a startled yell, he pitched forward, his leg twisting under him as he fell to the side, the small of his back scraping against the raised edge of one of the Struggle rings before he slid to the floor, Sora falling on top of him. His cousin immediately pushed himself up, scrambling back, his features contorted in panic.

"Oh man, Roxas, are you ok?" he asked thinly, hands waving helplessly just above Roxas's chest. Roxas hissed in response, dimly aware that the others had rushed up, crowding around Sora as they tried to ask if he was all right. Clenching his eyes shut, Roxas curled into the fetal position, fisting his hands until his knuckles were white.

Gradually the haze receded from his brain, and he realized medical personnel were trying to get through the small crowd that had gathered, finally demanding that only family members remain. Opening his eyes, Roxas found that Axel had forced himself to the front of the crowd and was kneeling next to him, ignoring the ambulance attendant tugging on his shoulder, telling him only family members could stay. Axel didn't remove his eyes from Roxas as he spoke.

"If you don't take your fucking hand off me, I'll rip it off," he snarled. Roxas saw the other man scowl as his hand tightened on Axel's shoulder.

"He's family," Roxas gasped out, cringing at the startled look Sora shot him. "It's ok, he's family." The attendant glanced between them, his expression clearly doubtful, but he shrugged and knelt beside Roxas.

"Did you hit your head when you fell?" Roxas shook his head, but the attendant pulled out a small flashlight and beamed it into his eyes anyway. Raising his index finger in front of Roxas's nose, he began to move it left and right. "Follow my finger without turning your head."

Biting back his protests, Roxas sat through another couple minutes' worth of check-ups, the attendant finally sitting back and studying him narrowly. "You should hurt like hell for the rest of the day, but take a few painkillers and you'll be ok," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "But you're out of the tournament, kid – I can't let you fight like this."

Roxas bit back a groan, feeling Sora lay a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. The attendant stepped back as an aggravated voice snapped, "I _am _family," his expression clearly questioning who _wasn't_ family. Seifer shoved his way out of the crowd, his friends remaining behind. His eyes narrowed as he took in Roxas's position.

"So you really are hurt," he groaned, running a hand over his face. "Who the hell does that leave me to fight?" Roxas gritted his teeth.

"Not now, Seifer," he muttered as Axel slipped an arm around his shoulders and helped him to sit up. Sora leaned forward, taking Roxas from Axel, brushing Roxas's hair away from his clammy forehead. Seifer crossed his arms over his chest irritably.

"Do you know how long –" He broke off as he studied Axel, staring pointedly at his hair and tattoos, a wide smirk spreading across his features. Roxas felt his stomach sink at Seifer's expression. "Do I know you?" Seifer asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Seifer, shut _up_ –"

Seifer slammed a fist into his palm, grinning widely. "You're that fag, aren't you? The one Vivi saw wrapped around Roxas here a couple weeks ago." Time seemed suspended for a moment – Roxas was half-convinced his heart had stopped. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see Sora's expression. He felt his cousin's grip tighten around his shoulders, and when he snuck a glance at him, he cringed when he found Sora had gone pale, his eyes wide with shock. "It _is _you, isn't it?" Seifer smirked.

Axel's expression had gone blank, but Roxas recognized the hard gleam in the redhead's eyes. Trying to sit forward, Roxas hissed as his back clenched. "Shit, Axel, _don't_ –"

"So which one of you takes it up the –"

Before Seifer could finish, before Roxas could even _blink_, Axel was on his feet, Seifer's toes brushing the floor as Axel lifted him off the ground, fist knotted in the younger boy's shirt. Seifer's eyes widened as he brought his hands up to pry at Axel's fist.

"_Shit_, man, it was a joke –"

"Axel!"

Ignoring the flare of pain in his back, Roxas lunged forward and grabbed Axel's leg. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rai try to spring forward, but Fuu held him back with a firm hand and a curt shake of her head. Axel ignored him, stance rigid, a cruel smirk spreading across his features as he fisted his other hand. "Axel, dammit!" Axel lowered Seifer until he was perched precariously on his toes, bringing his face close to the younger boy's.

"Keep this in mind, you little shit," he hissed, giving Seifer a slight shake. "_Roxas_ might not think you deserve to get your ass kicked, but _I_ would have no fucking problem breaking every bone in your damn body." He pushed Seifer away roughly, smirking as the younger boy stumbled. "Got it memorized?" Seifer looked dazed, but he managed to flash them all a dark look before he melted back into the crowd, Fuu and Rai turning and following him.

Roxas groaned, burying his head in his hands. Axel knelt beside him again, expression unreadable. "Sorry," he muttered. He wrapped an arm around Roxas's shoulders. "Can you stand?" When Roxas didn't move, he slipped a hand under the blond's arms. Roxas stiffened and tried to draw away.

"You are _not_ fucking carrying me," he hissed, scowling fiercely.

"Roxas, stop being an ass," Sora snapped. Breath hitching, Roxas turned and regarded his cousin with open-mouthed amazement. Sora's expression of shock had been wiped clean – he was staring at the spot Seifer had disappeared into the crowds, expression thunderous. "Axel, could you get him to those benches over there?"

Even Axel blinked at the brunette's tone, nodding silently. Roxas leaned forward and grasped Axel's hand, allowing the redhead to help him to his feet as Riku and Kairi slipped forward, regarding Sora's expression with some trepidation. "What happened?" Kairi asked softly, flinching slightly when Sora scowled.

"It's not important," Sora said firmly. "Will you guys stay with Roxas? I need to get ready for the next match." Without waiting for an answer, he turned and stalked away, his posture painfully straight.

"Shouldn't someone try to calm him down?" Roxas winced, leaning heavily on Axel. Kairi shook her head as she moved to his other side, draping his arm over his shoulders.

"When he gets like this…" She trailed off, watching Sora stalk away before glancing at Riku. Riku scowled and pushed his hair out of his eyes.

"When he gets mad you stay out of his way," he said flatly. "I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen an expression like that on his face." He glanced at Roxas and Axel speculatively, head tilting to the side and eyes narrowing when Roxas flushed and glanced away from him. "Come on," he sighed, clearing a path for them through the crowd.

Roxas let himself be led to the bench silently, Axel carefully lowering him into a sitting position before he threw himself down beside him, arms crossed over his chest as he glared straight ahead. Kairi leaned down and carefully brushed Roxas's bangs out of his eyes. "Do you want us to stay and sit with you?" she asked gently. Riku stood just behind her, arms crossed as he stared at Roxas silently.

Roxas shook his head. "Thanks, but I'm ok, guys," he muttered. "Axel will stay with me." He glanced back over at the stands, at the knot of his friends staring at them. "Could you just let everyone know what happened?"

Kairi glanced over at Axel, his expression apparently dissuading her from saying anything. "Ok," she said softly, smiling gently. Roxas blinked. She looked like Namine when she did that. She turned and wrapped her hand around Riku's arm, tugging the silver-haired teen behind her as she headed back to the stands.

Roxas sighed heavily and rested his head carefully against the wall. Axel regarded him sourly out of the corner of his eye.

"You should've let me –"

"He's a minor, Axel," Roxas sighed, briefly closing his eyes. "I'm not gonna visit you in jail." Axel scowled, running his hands through his hair.

"Who said he'd be fit to testify?" he glowered. Roxas shook his head, wincing.

"Shut up," he muttered, a smirk tugging at his lips. Axel sighed and slumped forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He regarded Roxas with a crooked smile.

"You really wouldn't visit me?" he asked, smirking when Roxas gave him a dubious look. "Even though you're the reason I would've gotten arrested?"

Roxas chuckled tiredly. "Hell no," he grinned. "You can't guilt me into visiting you, Axel." Axel grinned, bumping Roxas's knee with his.

"I don't _have_ to guilt you, Rox," he muttered. "You'd show up eventually." Roxas raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah," Axel grinned, reaching for a cigarette before remembering they were still indoors. "Really."

Roxas smiled at him before he closed his eyes again, drifting in the haze of almost-sleep until Axel poked his leg, gesturing at the center ring. "It's getting ready to start," he muttered, expression darkening as he scowled up at Seifer.

Sora and Seifer were squaring off, waiting for the referee's whistle, and Roxas cringed at the expression on his cousin's face – it was stiff and unyielding, his normally placid eyes suddenly as hard as steel. Seifer was sneering at the brunette, but Roxas didn't miss the uncertainty in the older boy's eyes as he dropped into a fighting stance.

When the whistle sounded Sora raced forward, ducking under Seifer's first swing and cracking his bat soundly against his ribs, spinning away before Seifer could retaliate. Seifer tried to turn and follow Sora's path, but the brunette whipped around behind him and brought his bat viciously across the back of Seifer's head. Seifer stumbled forward, one hand reaching back to massage his skull, before he whipped around, bringing his bat down in a forceful arc aimed at Sora's head. Sora brought his bat up with two hands, breaking Seifer's stance, once again darting inside the older boy's guard and landing a painful blow on his hip.

Roxas winced as another blow came crashing down on Seifer. He glanced over at the stands, a little unnerved when he found that Riku was staring back at him instead of watching the match. Riku arched an eyebrow, and Roxas could almost hear his voice in his head.

_"I told you – you stay out of his way."_

Sora continued to dance around Seifer, landing hit after hit, always darting away before the older boy could retaliate. For a moment, Roxas thought he saw something sparkle in Sora's hand, but he blinked and looked again – it was only his cousin's Struggle bat.

"Holy shit."

Roxas glanced over at Axel – the redhead was watching his cousin dance around Seifer with a strange expression, rubbing absently at his chest. He turned to Roxas, eyes glittering. "He wasn't fighting like that before," he muttered. "What the hell happened?" Roxas shook his head, turning his attention back to the ring, where Sora landed one last hit as the referee's whistle blew.

Sora stepped back, breathing heavily, hand clenched around the Struggle bat as he stared expressionlessly at Seifer. His lips moved, but Roxas couldn't hear what he was saying over the roar of the crowed – the stands had erupted, people leaping to their feet and cheering wildly, crying Sora's name. Seifer hadn't managed to land a single hit. Sora extended a hand, but Seifer ignored it, turning and limping out of the ring.

Sora turned and blinked at the cheering crowd, a wide grin spreading across his face as he dropped the bat to the floor, waving at his sudden fans. Seifer limped back into the ring, followed by the tournament moderator, a short, balding man who was clutching the Struggle trophy – a mess of iron curlicues with four semi-precious stones set at their tips. Clearing his throat into the microphone, the moderator pointed to the grinning Sora.

"Ladies and gentlemen, our new Struggle champion!" The crowd responded with enthusiastic cheers. "And to present the trophy, our very own Seifer Almasy!" Seifer grabbed the trophy out of the balding man's hand, stomping forward and thrusting it forcefully into Sora's hands. Sora blinked at him, a tentative grin spreading across his face as Seifer smirked at him and clapped him on the shoulder.

Sora stepped down from the ring, rubbing a hand sheepishly against his head as the cheers continued, waving weakly at the crowd until his friends fought their way down from the stands and surrounded him. Kairi threw her arms around him, grinning widely – Sora stumbled slightly, wrapping one arm around her as he waved the trophy in the other. Riku wrapped an arm around his neck, ruffling his hair before he made a grab at the trophy, laughing as Sora reached for it, protesting heatedly. Hayner punched him in the shoulder, grinning widely as Pence and Olette tripped their way up to them.

Namine broke away from the small party, threading her way through the crowd until she was standing in front of Roxas, tucking her hair back behind her ear. "How are you doing?" she asked, leaning down and brushing cool fingers against Roxas's temple.

"I'm fine," Roxas insisted, shifting his position slightly. "Really," he added, rolling his eyes and grinning at her skeptical expression.

"Did Seifer –"

Axel growled, and Namine jumped and regarded him silently. "Oh," she said quietly. Roxas pushed himself forward with a soft groan, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"It's fine," he insisted gently. "Axel scared the shit out of him, and he just got his ass handed to him in front of the entire city, by _Sora_. He can be an idiot, but he's not stupid." He grinned when Namine glanced up at him. "Don't worry about it, Namine. It's fine."

Namine offered a tremulous smile as the others ran up behind her, still crowding around Sora, who was wrestling with Riku over the trophy – the older boy was holding it just beyond his reach and smiling widely as Sora crossed his arms and scowled at him. Roxas sat back with a sigh, smiling when Axel rested a hand lightly against the base of his neck, gently massaging the stiffening muscles. Hayner bent over him, smiling widely.

"Did you _see_ that?" he cried, eyes all but disappearing with the force of his smile. "Seifer didn't land a _single hit_." He straightened, running his hands through his hair. "That went so much better than I could've wanted," he smirked. "Think he got the message?" Roxas grinned at his friend's enthusiasm.

"Yeah," he sighed, tilting his head back as Axel's fingers continued to knead his neck. "Yeah, I think he got it."

With a shout of triumph, Sora wrenched the trophy away from Riku, dancing away from the older boy and making faces at him as he waved it over his head in exaggerated victory. Olette stepped forward, her brows creasing in concern.

"Um, Sora, you really shouldn't shake it like that," she began in a worried tone. Before she could continue, one of the stones fell out of its setting, bouncing on the floor before it rolled and came to rest at Kairi's feet. Sora's face fell until Kairi picked it up with a small smile.

Cradling the small yellow stone in her palm, Kairi glanced up at him, grinning. "I like it better this way," she laughed, holding it up between her thumb and forefinger.

Smiling, Riku stepped forward and pried the other three stones out of their settings, tumbling them into Sora's hand. "That trophy's kind of weird-looking, anyway," he grinned, ruffling the brunette's hair.

Sora glanced between them, face splitting into a wide grin as he tossed the green stone at Riku, laughing as the older boy tried to keep it from tumbling to the floor. He grinned down at the two remaining stones in his palm, gaze sobering as he glanced at Roxas, his eyes lingering on Axel's hand for a moment. He closed his eyes as a gentle smile flashed across his face.

"Hey guys? Could you leave us alone for a minute? I need to talk to Roxas."

Riku looked ready to say something, but Kairi stepped forward and tapped him gently on the chest, shaking her head. With a sigh, Riku grabbed the base of the trophy out of Sora's hands. "We'll be out front, ok, Sora?" Sora nodded, smiling appreciatively.

Hayner gently punched Roxas's knee. "We'll see you outside, ok?" Roxas nodded, watching as his friends turned away and followed Riku and Kairi toward the doors. Namine bent and planted a gentle kiss on his temple, brushing his hair out of his eyes before she turned to Axel. The redhead was regarding Sora narrowly, his hand tensing slightly on Roxas's neck. Namine smiled at him.

"It's ok," she said softly. Axel jerked around and stared at her, eyes narrowed.

"It's fine, Axel," Roxas whispered. Axel scowled at him, pushing himself up. He stalked past Namine, already digging for a cigarette as he headed for the door.

Sora sat down next to him, idly tossing the stones from one hand to another as he waited for Namine to leave. He glanced over at Roxas, a small smile on his face. "So…we need to talk."

Roxas nodded, sighing.


	11. A Pretty Good Place to Be

(A/N): It _finally _uploaded! Huzzah! Seriously, did anyone else have trouble with this? Ah, well. Ok, first off, the story is _not_ finished. But I am taking a bit of a break. Just wanted to let everyone know, because a lot of people have commented on the (insane) pace at which I update - I need time to regroup. Also, a huge thanks to those who've reviewed, you guys make my day! 

Disclaimer: Still nope.

A Pretty Good Place to Be

Sora tugged absently at a spike of hair as he studied the two stones cradled in his palm. With a small smile, he held the blue stone out to Roxas. "Here."

"Thanks," Roxas muttered, rolling it nervously in his fingers. He glanced at his cousin out of the corner of his eye. "It was a good match," he grinned. "Where'd you learn to fight like that?" Sora shrugged.

"I don't know," he sighed, resting his head against the wall. "I was just…mad, you know?" Roxas nodded uncomfortably, eyes trained on his hands. There was a short silence, neither boy looking at one another. "So, what Seifer said," Sora began hesitantly, turning his head to gaze at Roxas. "You and Axel…?"

Roxas flushed and glanced away, hand tightening around the crystal. Sora sighed and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, look at me, Rox." When Roxas reluctantly turned his gaze back to his cousin, Sora nodded. "Just – just tell me, ok?"

Roxas swallowed thickly and nodded. "We met about a month ago," he muttered. "I ran into him on the street, and – I mean, we both…" He trailed off, glancing to the side.

"What?" Roxas managed a small grin as he turned back to the brunette. Sora was regarding him solemnly, one leg tucked underneath him, the other swinging slightly, his heel kicking against the bench's leg.

"How can you be so calm about this?" Roxas chuckled thinly. Sora blinked, a small smile lighting his features before he shrugged.

"I _am_ surprised," he admitted, eyes flicking over to where Axel and Namine were disappearing through the door. "I always thought you and Namine would, you know, wind up together." Roxas laughed softly.

"Yeah." He shrugged, wincing as his back clenched. He glanced over at the door. "It just…didn't happen," he said softly.

Sora made a soft noise in the back of his throat, reaching up and tugging at his hair again. "Well, yeah, she's like your sister, right? But I never would've guessed you and Axel were, well…" He trailed off, biting his lip as he returned his gaze to Roxas. Roxas fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Look, if it bothers you –"

Sora blinked again, eyes widening before they narrowed in frustration. "Roxas, I don't _care_ about that, ok? I just – what's going on with you two? I never would've guessed you guys were a couple if Seifer hadn't –"

"We're not," Roxas muttered harshly. "A couple," he added when Sora frowned at him in confusion. Sora's eyes narrowed further before he sighed deeply, tilting his head back and rubbing at his temples.

"Roxas." His tone was impossibly gentle, but Roxas could sense his cousin's underlying frustration. "Talk to me."

Roxas glanced down at his feet, trying to order his thoughts. "I don't – I don't know what to say," he sighed. "It's really complicated, ok?"

"Do you love him?"

Roxas's head shot up, his mouth falling open as he gaped at his cousin. "What?"

Sora's gaze didn't waver. He tilted his head to the side, eyes locked with Roxas's. "Do you love him?" he repeated, voice gentle.

Roxas glanced away with a hoarse chuckle. "It's not that simple, Sora," he muttered.

"Why?" Sora frowned as Roxas turned away from him, scowling. Leaning forward, he reached out and gently turned the blond back to face him. "Why isn't it that simple? It's not that hard a question, Rox. Do you love him?"

Roxas laughed harshly. "Not that hard a question?" He dragged his hands through his hair, trying to avoid his cousin's gaze.

"_Look _at me, Rox," Sora insisted gently. When Roxas still wouldn't look at him, he sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Ok, let's try this – do you _like_ him?" Roxas hesitated, one hand still fisted in his hair. "Do you like being with him?" Roxas nodded hesitantly. Sora pushed himself up and came to stand in front of him, waiting until the blond grudgingly glanced up to continue. "So why is it such a problem to think you might love him?" Roxas shook his head.

"It's not – it's just _not_ that simple, Sora," he murmured, throat clenching.

Sora sighed heavily. "Ok," he relented. He leaned forward, resting his hands on his thighs. "Look, Roxas, I can't help if you won't tell me what's going on. But…" He took a deep breath, poking one finger gently against Roxas's forehead. "But if it helps, I think Axel cares about you. A lot." Roxas batted his finger away, scowling.

"When did you get to be such an expert?" Roxas muttered. Sora flushed and glanced to the side for a moment.

"Shut up," he murmured, smiling softly. Roxas's eyes widened at his expression.

"Sora?"

His cousin's smile widened before he straightened, running a hand through his hair. "Roxas, if you could've seen the two of you when you were sitting on this stupid bench…" He trailed off, leaning forward again and staring intently at Roxas. "It was like you were the only two people in the room. Why are you being such an idiot about it?" Roxas sighed and tangled his fingers in his hair.

"Why are you so fixated on this?" he complained. "Does it matter?" Sora swatted him lightly over the head, ignoring Roxas's indignant yelp.

"Of _course_ it matters, Roxas," he sighed. "If you could've seen your expression when you were sitting here with Axel, you'd know _why_ it matters." Roxas flushed and tried to turn away, but Sora reached out and gently caught his shoulder.

"I don't – I don't know, Sora, ok? I really, really don't. Just – please, I don't want to talk about this anymore." Sora sighed and nodded, stepping back.

"Well, at least that's an answer," he murmured, running his hands through his hair.

Without another word, he helped Roxas to stand and let his cousin lean on him as they headed for the doors. Seifer and his gang were slouched against the wall, and Rai leapt forward as they passed.

"Hey, Seifer was just tired today, y'know!" he started heatedly. "He'd never –" He paused as Seifer laid a hand against his shoulder, smirking at Sora and Roxas.

"It was a good match," he said, smirk widening. "But a tournament's only half the story. We should do it again sometime." He turned away, Fuu and Vivi falling into step behind him. Rai glanced between his friends and Sora and Roxas before he turned and ran after Seifer, a confused expression on his face. Roxas and Sora looked at one another and grinned before they stepped outside.

Roxas leaned against the doorframe as Sora went back inside for their coats. His friends were knotted together in a tense group, talking quietly among themselves. He flinched and began to sidle away from them. He didn't want to talk anymore. He didn't want to have to avoid their questions. He closed his eyes as long fingers rested lightly against his neck and warm breath ghosted over his ear.

"Roxas? Are you ok?"

"You never let me sneak away," he muttered, leaning back against him. He could smell the cigarette Axel had just finished and hear the startled hitch in Axel's breath as his hand tightened marginally against his neck.

"What?"

Not bothering to answer, Roxas turned and latched onto the front of Axel's coat, resting his head against Axel's chest. "Roxas, what…?" The redhead trailed off uncertainly, bringing his arms up and circling Roxas's shoulders in an awkward hug. Roxas sagged against him, sighing heavily, and Axel rested his cheek against the top of Roxas's head, raising a hand to run his fingers through the younger boy's hair. "Shit, Roxas, what happened?"

"Roxas?"

Roxas stiffened at Namine's voice, and he felt Axel sigh before the redhead began to pull away from him. For a second, Roxas considered letting him go before he clenched his eyes shut and tightened his fingers around Axel's trench coat. "Please…" The word was so small and choked he doubted Axel could hear it, but the redhead paused before he sighed heavily, wrapping his arms around him again.

Roxas sighed deeply before he stepped back with a small smile, wrapping an arm around Axel's waist and leaning against him as Namine jogged up to them, with Sora following close behind. Axel blinked at him, clearly confused, but Roxas just shook his head, grinning.

Sora's eyes brightened as he took in the arm Roxas had wrapped around Axel's waist, grinning as he handed his cousin his jacket. Namine brushed Roxas's hair out of his face with a soft smile. "We're going over to Olette's to celebrate," she murmured. "Do you guys want to come?"

Roxas shook his head, tightening his arm around Axel's waist. "Thanks guys, but I just…" He trailed off, glancing up at Axel. The redhead glanced down at him, wrapping a hesitant arm around his shoulders, and Sora's grin gentled into a soft smile.

"We'll tell everybody you're not coming," he said, turning and heading back to the group. Namine nodded, turning to follow him.

"Hey, Sora?"

His cousin turned back at Roxas's voice. Roxas ducked his head, his eyes flicking up to rest on Sora's face. "Thanks," he muttered. Sora nodded before he turned away again, bounding up to the small knot of his friends and herding them away from the convention center. Axel glanced down at Roxas and cocked an eyebrow.

"What the hell was that?" he asked, tightening his hold on Roxas as the blond sighed.

"You got your talk, I got mine," he muttered. "Can we – can we go back to your place? I need to sit." Axel nodded silently, leading him away from the convention center.

"So what did Sora want?" he asked, voice tight. Roxas sighed.

"He wanted to know what was going on with us," he said quietly. He felt Axel tense.

"What did you tell him?" Roxas hesitated, biting at his lip.

"That I don't know," he muttered hoarsely.

"Oh." Axel didn't say another word, but Roxas couldn't help the guilty flush that stained his cheeks at the redhead's tone.

Demyx leapt up when they entered the apartment, barely catching his guitar as it slid from his hands. "What the heck happened to you?" he cried, rushing over and allowing Axel to slip out from underneath Roxas's weight. Carefully supporting the younger blond, Demyx led Roxas back to the sofa and settled him carefully before kneeling in front of him.

"He fell at the Struggle tournament," Axel supplied, disappearing into the bathroom. He poked his head back out a second later. "Don't we have any ibuprofen?" Demyx shook his head as he unlaced Roxas's sneakers.

"We're all out," he muttered, frowning when Roxas tried to draw his foot away. "Knock it off," he snapped irritably, grabbing the younger boy's ankle. He let go almost immediately when Roxas hissed in pain. "Oh man, you really banged yourself up." He rocked back on his heels, studying Roxas thoughtfully.

Axel swept past them, digging around in his pockets for his wallet. "I'm gonna go get some stuff, ok, Dem?" Without waiting for a reply, he closed the door behind him. Demyx scratched his head and glanced at Roxas, sighing when the younger boy flushed and looked away from him.

Standing, Demyx offered a hand to Roxas. "C'mon, you need a warm bath or your back'll tighten so much you won't be able to move." Wincing, Roxas allowed himself to be hauled to his feet and leaned heavily on Demyx as they entered the bathroom. Demyx settled him carefully on the toilet before he bent over the tub, turning the water on full and testing the temperature with his hand.

As the bath filled, steam began to billow up from the water, and Roxas raised an eyebrow at the musician. "Just how hot _is_ that?" he asked, idly watching the small mirror cloud over. Demyx shrugged, thrusting his fingers back under the spray.

"It'll hurt at first," he muttered. "But believe me, if you don't do this now you won't be able to move later." Standing and wiping his hands on his jeans, he turned to Roxas. "I'm gonna be out in the living room. Just holler if you need something, ok?" Roxas nodded, wincing as he began to worm his way out of his shirt, hissing when it got caught on his head. Demyx gently tugged the shirt free and left, closing the door behind him.

Carefully stepping out of his jeans and boxers, Roxas shut the water off and gingerly stepped into the tub, wincing when he found Demyx hadn't been joking about it hurting – his skin was already turning bright red where the bathwater lapped against it. Gritting his teeth, he settled himself in the water, biting back a cry as his back tightened at the movement. For a moment he couldn't move, keeping his hands curled around his knees as he bit his lip, but as quickly as his back had seized, it relaxed, and he sighed as he laid back.

Roxas let his eyes fall closed as he felt the muscles in his back begin to unclench, sighing in relief. He opened one eye when a knock came at the door. Demyx poked his head in, one hand clapped over his eyes as he waved what looked like a pair of pajama pants in the other. "Axel got you these," he grinned, inching forward as he felt for the counter with one hand. "How's the water?" Roxas scowled, trying to sink a little further down.

"Hot," he muttered. "I look like a boiled lobster." Demyx laughed cheerfully.

"But your back's better, isn't it?" Roxas nodded grudgingly, then realized Demyx couldn't see the motion.

"Yeah." Demyx nodded, setting the pajama pants on the counter and inching back toward the door.

"The _minute_ it starts to cool off, get out and get dressed, ok? We've got your ibuprofen out here."

"Ok." Roxas sighed as the door closed behind Demyx, wriggling a little lower so that his shoulders rested underneath the steaming water. He closed his eyes again, letting his thoughts drift as the steam wafted past him.

Gradually, he realized the water was noticeably cooler; with a sigh, he pulled himself upright, smiling at the ease of the motion, grabbing a towel from the rack and drying himself before slipping into the pants Demyx had left on the counter. Bending, he retrieved the stone Sora had given him and slipped it into his pocket.

When he exited the bathroom, he found Axel sitting against the couch, a lit cigarette hanging from his fingers as he leaned his head back against Demyx's leg, the guitarist pulling gentle fingers through his hair. When Axel saw Roxas, his eyes widened and he pushed himself up, muttering an apology as he headed for the balcony. Roxas scowled as he came to sit next to Demyx.

"What was that about?"

Demyx shrugged as he reached for the bottle of ibuprofen on the coffee table – he shook out two pills and handed them to Roxas with a glass of water. "He told me about – well, everything, I guess," he murmured, pulling a hand through his hair. "You and him, what happened today at the Struggle. He hasn't come that close to losing control in a long time, you know," he muttered. Roxas raised an eyebrow at him.

"Losing control?"

Demyx sighed heavily, glancing over at the door to the balcony. "He had a real problem with his temper in high school. It got better after – well, after he moved out, I guess, after we graduated, but apparently that guy – Seifer?" Roxas nodded hollowly. "Yeah, well, he snapped like he hasn't in a long time, and…" He trailed off, glancing at Roxas out of the corner of his eye. "Look, it's not my place to get in the middle of whatever's going on between you two," he muttered. "But…don't lead him on if – if you're not serious about it, ok?" Roxas frowned at him confusion, and Demyx sighed again. "I told you I've never seen someone get so far under Axel's skin," he muttered. "If – if you're not sure, leave him alone. He doesn't deserve to be yanked around like that."

Before Roxas could answer, Axel came back in, pulling a hand through his hair tiredly. "Who wants take-out?" he asked. When no one answered he rolled his eyes and moved toward the kitchen phone. "Chinese it is," he muttered.

Dinner was silent and awkward – even Demyx refused to look up from his lo mien, expression sober. When everyone was finished, he gathered the leftovers and disappeared into the kitchen. Axel sighed and stretched, glancing over at Roxas. "Are you staying?" he asked softly. Roxas nodded.

"If it's ok," he muttered. Axel shrugged and pushed himself up, grabbing Roxas's arm and leading him into his bedroom.

"Do you need another ibuprofen?" he asked, pulling out a pair of sweatpants for himself as Roxas carefully seated himself on the bed. Roxas shook his head, cringing at the tense line of Axel's shoulders.

"I'm fine," he murmured, fidgeting uncomfortably. Axel came and sat next to him, pants fisted in his hands.

"I…I can sleep on the couch," he muttered, staring straight ahead. Roxas winced, glancing over at him out of the corner of his eye. The redhead's posture was painfully straight, his eyes dull and bleak. Roxas closed his eyes, a thousand thoughts swirling through his head, but when he opened his mouth, only one thing came out.

"Don't be an idiot," he muttered harshly. He opened his eyes to find Axel had whipped around to face him, eyes narrowed as he took in Roxas's expression.

"Don't be an ass," Axel shot back. Roxas shrugged jerkily, a small smile stealing across his lips.

"I'm not kicking you out of your own bed, Axel," Roxas sighed. "If anyone's gonna sleep on the couch, it's me."

"You're hurt," Axel pointed out.

"Well then we have a problem," Roxas muttered. Axel cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah," Roxas shot back. "Really." He swallowed thickly, glancing away from the redhead. "Because this wouldn't be an issue if you weren't so uncomfortable about spending the night in the same bed with me. In fact –"

Before Roxas could continue, Axel leaned forward and pressed his lips against Roxas's own. It was soft, hesitant, and Roxas knew it was as much a question as it was an answer. He brought his arms up around Axel's shoulders, sliding his fingers up into his hair as he kissed him back. Axel let out a small, satisfied sigh as he rested his hands lightly at Roxas's sides.

Roxas closed his eyes as he tightened his arms around Axel's neck, and Axel sighed again as he wrapped his arms around his waist and ran his fingers lightly up and down his spine. Roxas bit gently at Axel's lips before he broke away, leaning back against the pillows. He smiled as Axel followed and settled on top of him, trailing his fingers through the blond's hair. Roxas slid his fingers underneath Axel's shirt as Axel slipped his tongue into his mouth, moaning softly as the redhead trailed one hand down his chest.

Axel sat up to remove his shirt, leaning back in for another soft kiss, hands ghosting over Roxas's shoulders and chest. The kiss deepened and became more insistent as Axel's hands dropped to tug lightly at Roxas's pants. Roxas began to arch up against the redhead, but fell back onto the bed with a gasp of pain.

Axel broke the kiss, staring wide-eyed at Roxas before he rested his head against his shoulder with a wry chuckle. "Oh, dammit," he breathed, hands tightening around Roxas's waist for a moment. "Fucking dammit." He pushed himself up and kissed Roxas once more before he rolled off the bed, grabbing his sweatpants from where they'd fallen to the floor. "I'm gonna take a shower," he muttered. Roxas nodded mutely, thumping his head back against the pillows after Axel left the room.

Digging the blue stone out of his pocket, Roxas set it on the nightstand and stared at it as he waited for Axel. When the redhead entered the room again, his hair was still damp and he was carrying two ibuprofen and a glass of water. Roxas took the pills silently, setting the glass on the night table as Axel slid in beside him, kissing him gently on the shoulder and wrapping an arm around him.

"I'm sorry, Axel," Roxas muttered, turning and tucking his head underneath Axel's chin. Axel chuckled and ran a hand down his back.

"Shut up, Roxas," he murmured. Roxas sighed, wrapping an arm around the redhead's waist and smiling softly as he felt himself begin to drift off to sleep.

* * *

Roxas woke the next morning on his back with Axel curled around him, one arm thrown loosely over Roxas's chest and his head nestled on Roxas's shoulder. Roxas smiled softly before he carefully slid out from underneath him, padding out to the bathroom and rummaging for the ibuprofen. His back was a little stiff, but he downed two pills and carefully stretched, determining that it was nowhere near as bad as it had been the day before.

When he entered the bedroom again, Axel had rolled over and pulled the blankets around himself, all but disappearing beneath them. Roxas stifled a laugh and moved to the other side of the bed, sitting carefully so as not to wake Axel, and reached for the crystal from the Struggle trophy. He held it up, turning it in the light that filtered through Axel's half-closed blinds, admiring the way it sparkled.

"You really like that, don't you?"

Roxas turned and found Axel watching him, one eye peering out from beneath the blankets piled around him. Roxas grinned and nodded. With a sigh, Axel pushed the sheets back, sitting up and crawling forward until he was behind Roxas. He settled his chin on Roxas's shoulder, his fingers dancing along the drawstring to Roxas's pajama pants. "You sleep ok?"

Roxas grinned and kissed his temple, handing the small stone to him, watching Axel turn it over, eyes half-closed. "Yeah. You?" Axel made a small noise that could've been confirmation before he handed the stone back to Roxas, his fingers dropping to Roxas's thigh.

"How's your back?" Roxas smirked and pushed him back, setting the stone on the nightstand before turning and tangling his hands in Axel's hair.

"Is that honestly all you can think of at a time like this?" he huffed. Axel grinned.

"Well, I think now is the perfect time to be thinking of it," he smirked, leaning forward and capturing Roxas's lips in a hard kiss. Roxas grinned and pushed him away again.

"You would," he muttered. Axel frowned at him, but Roxas raised an eyebrow at him. "What about Demyx?" Axel smirked, suddenly reaching out and wrapping his arms around Roxas. He pulled him down and rolled him over, straddling the blond and grinning down at Roxas's shocked expression.

"Dem's already scarred me for life," Axel grinned, laughing softly as Roxas squirmed when he ran his fingers down his sides. "I'd say he's long overdue for some payback." Roxas scowled and pretended to think about it.

"So you only wanna have sex so you can get back at Demyx?" Axel smirked and leaned over him, his lips ghosting over Roxas's forehead.

"Well, that and the fact that I seem to remember quite a few little tricks to make you hot and bothered that we haven't tried yet."

"Oh, yeah," Roxas grinned, reaching up and twining his fingers through Axel's hair. "What was it again? A dozen?" Axel laughed and dropped a quick kiss against his lips.

"And if you get tired of those," he smirked, slipping his fingers teasingly below the waistline of Roxas's pants, "I can always improvise."

He bent and nuzzled Roxas's neck, sighing when Roxas ran his fingers through his hair. Roxas was silent for a minute, staring up at the ceiling as Axel began to rain gentle kisses along his neck and collarbone, his cousin's questions echoing in his head. "Hey, Axel?" Axel made a distracted sound, sucking gently at the hollow between Roxas's neck and collarbone. "What is this?"

"What's what?"

"_This_," Roxas repeated, gently shoving Axel back and gesturing between them. "Us. What are we doing here?"

Axel groaned. "You wanna have this discussion _now_?"

"Yes," Roxas insisted, shoving Axel away enough for him to prop himself up on his elbows. "I do."

Axel groaned again, drawing back and shooting him a dirty look. His features took on an exaggerated thoughtfulness as he tilted his head to the side and regarded the blond. "Well," he began, stroking the inside of Roxas's thighs, "I've already received the obligatory best friend speech –"

"You got the absolute shit scared out of you by my brother," Roxas cut in, grinning.

"You acted like a jealous dipshit, over _Demyx_, of all people," Axel smirked, moving his hands further up Roxas's legs.

"You've received the stamp of approval from a member of my family," Roxas choked out, swatting at Axel's hands.

"We've survived the morning-after freak out –"

"You almost beat an ambulance attendant and a minor over me–"

"_And_," Axel continued, grabbing Roxas's knees and dragging him forward until his legs were wrapped around Axel's waist, "if you'd _shut up_, we could have some mind-blowing sex." He leaned down, smirking. "So where does that leave us?"

"A pretty good place," Roxas admitted, grinning.

"Good. Now shut up."

Axel pressed his mouth insistently against Roxas's, and Roxas parted his lips for Axel's eager tongue, sighing as Axel settled over him again, his hips rocking against Roxas's.

"_Do you love him?"_

Roxas couldn't stop the helpless laugh that bubbled its way out of his throat, laughing harder when Axel drew away and cocked an eyebrow at him. Shaking his head, he reached up and tangled his fingers in the redhead's hair, dragging him back down for another kiss, grinding his hips upward insistently. He felt Axel huff against his lips before the redhead reached down and slipped his hand into Roxas's pants, smirking when the blond arched and moaned beneath him.

Roxas clutched at Axel's shoulders desperately as the redhead kissed his way down his chest and stomach, tugging the blond's pants down to his thighs. Roxas gasped as Axel took him in his mouth, throwing his head back and squeezing his eyes shut.

"_Do you love him?"_

Roxas didn't know, he didn't know, but a small smile stretched his lips before he gasped again, choking out mangled attempts at Axel's name as the redhead picked up the pace, dragging his tongue against the underside of Roxas's cock, because, dammit, he didn't _know_, but he thought he _might_. He just fucking might. Roxas let out a broken laugh that morphed into a groan as Axel sucked sharply.

Well, shit.


	12. Something Like the Truth

(A/N): I hate this chapter. With a passion. I can't even remember how many revisions this thing went through. Riku is an absolute bitch to write. Gah. On a happier note, I love you guys. Seriously. Your support for this little fic is all that kept me from putting my foot through the computer screen. Thanks to those who've reviewed, let me rant about my writer's block, and drawn the loveliest fanart - you guys are amazing.

Disclaimer: It's never gonna happen...

Something Like the Truth

"I'll call you later, ok?" Roxas asked, grinning up at Axel. The redhead smirked, leaning down and planting a light kiss on the blond's temple.

"I still don't see why you have to run off," he grumbled, wrapping one arm around Roxas's waist and pulling the younger boy against him. With an aggravated huff, Roxas shoved the redhead back.

"Because," he muttered. Axel raised an eyebrow at him.

"Rox, that is the single stupidest thing you've ever said to me," he smirked. Groaning in frustration, Roxas reached up and tangled his fingers in Axel's hair, pulling the redhead down for a forceful kiss.

"Shut up," he growled, resting his forehead against Axel's chest. Axel wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in Roxas's hair. Roxas relaxed into the embrace, closing his eyes and simply appreciating Axel's warmth. Axel tightened his arms around him as he sighed.

"You smell good," he mumbled distractedly. Roxas laughed and gently shoved the redhead off him.

"It's your shampoo, idiot," he muttered. "I'll call you later." Axel stuffed his hands in his pockets as he nodded, a crooked smile on his lips. Roxas planted one last impulsive peck on the redhead's cheek before he spun around and marched down the hallway, ignoring the soft laughter that followed him.

He met Demyx on the stairs, the guitarist grinning widely as he pulled his headphones down around his shoulders. Roxas winced at the volume of the music pounding from the tiny speakers. "Doesn't that hurt?" Demyx shrugged.

"I consider it a necessary sacrifice for the preservation of my sanity," he grinned, laughing at Roxas's furious blush. "You headed home?" Roxas nodded, scowling at the musician's cheery expression. Shaking his head, Demyx flicked Roxas on the forehead as he moved past him. "Glad you worked it out," he said softly, stuffing the mp3 player in his pocket.

Roxas stared down at the stair as he waited for his cheeks to cool, idly listening to Demyx humming to himself before the musician turned the corner and was gone. Sighing, he continued on his way, drawing his jacket up around his ears as he stepped out into the cold. After a short hesitation, he turned and began the long trek to the Highwind.

He wanted to go home and think, but he couldn't bring himself to head back to his apartment without at least checking on Sora. Roxas let the steady rhythm of his feet against the pavement lull him into half-consciousness, only paying enough attention to his surroundings to avoid running into people. Breath trailing behind him in white plumes, he let his mind roam in useless circles, not settling on any one thought long enough for it to take coherent form.

He jumped when Riku called his name. Glancing up, Roxas felt mildly disoriented before he realized he'd entered the Highwind without thinking about it; he was currently in the lobby, staring dazedly at Riku as the silver-haired teen motioned him over impatiently. Roxas hesitated, considering simply turning around and walking out – he wasn't really in the mood to deal with Riku, and it would be simple to ask him to tell Sora he'd stopped by. But his cousin deserved more than that, especially after everything he'd put up with yesterday. Rolling his eyes at the other boy's expression, Roxas unzipped his jacket and trudged over.

"What are you doing down here?" Roxas asked, peeling his gloves off as he sank into the over-stuffed seat next to Riku's. The other boy shrugged.

"Sora said he needed to talk to Kairi," he replied. Roxas raised an eyebrow at him.

"You couldn't wait in the other room?" A self-deprecating smile spread over Riku's face as he shrugged.

"You know how Sora gets," he chuckled. "He insisted he needed complete and total privacy." Roxas grinned and nodded, shrugging out of his coat and gingerly leaning back into the chair. If Riku noticed his small wince, he kept it to himself.

Roxas picked idly at the hem of his shirt as silence fell around them. The only thing he and Riku had in common was Sora, and without the brunette there, he felt no reason to go out of his way to be friendly to the other boy. It was easier trying to pretend they got along when Sora was with them. Roxas stared at the far wall without really seeing it, thoughts turning sluggishly in his head.

Riku didn't try to make conversation, which Roxas appreciated. He didn't feel up to trying to sustain idle chatter at the moment. He fingered the cell phone in his pocket, ducking his head and muffling a laugh as he realized it hadn't even been twenty minutes since he'd left Axel's apartment. Sighing, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

He drifted in the emptiness behind his eyelids until a small, repetitive sound drew his attention back to the other boy; Riku was tossing the green stone Sora had given him from hand to hand, occasionally holding it up and studying the way the light refracted into myriad rainbows in the crystal's depths. When he noticed Roxas watching, he scowled self-consciously and shoved it back into his pocket.

"They should be down soon," Riku muttered, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. Roxas nodded, fingers still tracing the stitches in his hem.

"How long have they been up there?" Riku shrugged, the motion stiff and jerky.

"Twenty minutes?" he guessed, slumping down into his seat. Roxas didn't say anything, only settled back into his own seat and closed his eyes. He opened them again a few minutes later when Riku began tapping a foot against the leg of the coffee table. Straightening, he turned his attention back to the silver-haired teen, worry tugging at the corner of his mind. Riku was _fidgeting_. He regarded him silently from the corner of his eye, noting the tense line of the other boy's shoulders. He hadn't seen Riku look so uncomfortable since – well, since he and Sora had asked him to participate in the Struggle tournament.

He shifted self-consciously, remembering the strange expression Riku had fixed him with that day. He'd never worked up the nerve to ask about it. He tilted his head to the side – now that he really _looked_, tension practically _sang_ through Riku's body. He worried his bottom lip as he pondered what, if anything, he should do – this was dangerously unfamiliar territory for both of them.

"Hey, Riku?"

Riku rolled his head around to face him, fixing him with a look that managed to be both curious and aloof, and in spite of himself, Roxas scowled. Things were not off to a good start. "What?"

Roxas's scowl deepened as he took a deep breath, trying to beat back his rising irritation at Riku's tone. This was strange enough already – the least Riku could do was _attempt_ to be civil. "You feeling okay?" he asked, frowning because that wasn't the question he'd meant to ask. Riku shrugged and glanced away from him.

"Sure."

Silence descended again, and Roxas glared at the back of Riku's head, wondering if it was too late to just get up and leave. Riku turned and caught sight of his expression – eyes narrowing to mere slits, he regarded the blond suspiciously. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Why didn't you enter the Struggle tournament?" Roxas grated out, fisting his hands in his lap at the _effort_ that question had taken. Riku regarded him narrowly before he shrugged and turned his face away.

"Doesn't matter," he mumbled. Roxas narrowed his eyes before he turned his attention back to his lap, fingers dancing nervously along the edge of his shirt.

"Yeah it does," he muttered. He jumped when Riku slapped a hand against his thigh.

"It's none of your business," Riku hissed. Roxas felt his spine stiffen as his temper flared. He'd just asked a simple question, one that he was entirely justified in asking, given Riku's behavior toward him since he'd arrived – Riku's habitual callousness was not what he needed or wanted to hear.

Rounding on the other boy, Roxas spat, "Why are you always such a fucking _asshole_? It _is_ my business – I'm not an _idiot_, I know it has something to do with me." Riku visibly paled, opening his mouth to argue, but Roxas ignored him and plowed on. "I don't _like_ you," he growled, "and I know you don't like me, but why do you always have to be so – so –" He tripped over his words, watching Riku's throat work furiously as the silver-haired teen tried to formulate a rebuttal. He fisted his hands as he leaned forward. "_Why the __**hell**__ does Sora put up with you, anyway_?"

Riku went completely still and silent, his eyes growing impossibly large in his pale face, and Roxas knew he'd struck something lodged far more deeply than he'd been aiming for. He'd wanted to rile Riku – he was always so damn _calm_, always acted so aloof and distant with everyone but Sora and Kairi, but while he'd wanted to rattle the other boy, he'd never expected – or wanted – to watch his face twist into such a raw expression of _pain_.

As quickly as it appeared, the expression vanished – Riku thrust himself out of his seat and headed for the door, shoving his hands into his pockets violently. Feeling wholly unbalanced, Roxas could do nothing but watch him leave. Only after Riku had disappeared through the door did Roxas push himself up and go after him, forgetting his coat and gloves in his haste.

The cold slammed into him as he left the hotel lobby behind, head whipping in all possible directions as he searched for Riku's distinctive head of hair. Catching sight of him further down the street, Roxas broke into a jog, the icy air tearing at his lungs. He should've just gone home, he told himself bitterly. He'd known he wasn't in the mood to deal with Riku; he never should've pushed the issue in the first place – why the hell should he care if something was bothering him?

He muttered a string of curses as he caught up with Riku, reaching forward and pulling the other boy back around to face him. His angry accusations froze on his tongue as he took in Riku's expression.

Stricken. Brittle.

Riku looked ready to _break_.

Roxas shifted uncomfortably – knowing he was the catalyst that had prompted this reaction made his throat tighten until he couldn't squeeze the words out.

"Fuck you," Riku whispered, wiping a shaking hand across his face. "Get the hell away from me, you –" He pressed his lips together as his throat hitched, swallowing whatever insult he'd been preparing to hurl at the blond. Roxas froze, hunching his shoulders against the epitaph that sprang to mind: _Nobody_.

They stood there for another minute, studying each other as their breath plumed up and away in the frigid air; Roxas began to shiver violently, but he couldn't leave Riku standing in the middle of the street. "C'mon, let's – let's go, ok?" he murmured, trying to keep his circulation flowing by rubbing his arms briskly. Riku released a sharp bark of laughter, eyes glittering.

"Fuck you," he repeated, but the words were hollow. "You don't like me, remember?" Roxas lunged forward and punched him across the face.

"No, I don't," he cried, ignoring Riku's startled expression and knotting his numb fingers in Riku's shirt. He jerked the taller boy forward, bringing him closer to eye level. "I don't like you, but Sora does. Sora does," he growled, shaking him. "So you are going to tell me what the _fuck_ is wrong."

Roxas couldn't read the emotions that flashed through Riku's eyes like quicksilver, but when the other boy narrowed his eyes and wrapped his hands around Roxas's wrists, Roxas let him shove him off. "You wouldn't understand," Riku snarled.

"Why?" Roxas snapped, fisting his hands at his sides. "Why wouldn't I?"

Riku's shoulders slumped as he struggled to wrestle himself back under control. "Because _I _don't understand it," he growled, wiping one hand tiredly over his face. "When I'm around you, I _see_ things, and it's just like remembering – and I _don't want to remember_," he finished shakily. Roxas reeled back as if he'd been struck, closing his eyes against Riku's face, shivering from more than the cold.

"Oh," he muttered, wrapping his arms around himself. He took a deep breath, ignoring the searing sensation in his lungs. "Oh." His thoughts whirled in his head, clamoring for his attention, but he forced them to quiet. He glanced up at Riku with a wry smile. "I'm sorry." Riku's furious expression gave way to confusion, but Roxas only grinned and ducked his head. "How long have you dreamed?"

He heard Riku's breath hitch before he swallowed thickly above him. "I don't know," he answered wearily. "Forever. It didn't bother me so much when we were little, but as we got older…" He trailed off, and when Roxas glanced up he found that Riku's eyes were trained somewhere above his head. "Fighting Sora made me feel wrong," he muttered at last. "I-it made me feel sick, like there was something wrong with me. And then when _you'd_ come to visit, the feeling would get worse."

Roxas shivered as a gust of wind blew down the street, but Riku didn't notice – his eyes were still trained on something Roxas couldn't see. "I – there's something… I don't know _how_, but I know I did something – something bad, something _horrible_, but I can only see bits and pieces, and I don't want to remember it all. And it makes it more-more _real_ when I'm fighting Sora." Riku's eyes lost their far-away look as he turned his gaze back to Roxas. "When I'm fighting _you_," he muttered.

Roxas gazed back silently until the chattering of his teeth snapped him out of his reverie. Suddenly the surrealism of the situation seemed hilarious – he was freezing to death while Riku remonstrated about things that may or may not have been real. Catching the gleam in Riku's eye, Roxas knew the other boy had just realized the apparent absurdity of their situation as well; throwing his head back, Riku began to laugh, ignoring the curious stares he drew from the people flowing around them. When he noticed Roxas's violent shivering, he laughed harder, peeling his jacket off and draping it around Roxas's shoulders as he wiped tears of mirth from his eyes.

"Would've been quicker to just tell you I had a twisted ankle, right?" he chuckled. Roxas couldn't help the smirk that spread across his lips.

"I'd definitely be a lot warmer," he conceded, hurriedly stuffing his arms into Riku's warm jacket.

"Riku!"

Roxas grinned and glanced over his shoulder to find Sora and Kairi running up to them, flushed and panting. "Why didn't you say you were heading out, you idiot?" Sora gasped, bending over and resting his hands on his knees. Riku's strained expression eased, a small smile lighting his features. Roxas felt the tension in his shoulders melt away, and he couldn't help smiling when he noticed Sora's hand straying to the side, searching for Kairi's as he straightened, wind-swept spikes falling down around his face in disarray. "Why the heck didn't you come and get us?"

Riku looked appropriately contrite as he shoved his hands into his pockets, but Roxas didn't miss the small grin that flashed across his face as he ducked his head. "Sorry guys, we were just talking," he mumbled, jerking his head in Roxas's direction. Sora turned, noticing his cousin for the first time. A bright smile lit up his face as he stepped forward and wrapped the blond in a tight hug.

"When'd you get here, Roxas?"

Roxas didn't bother to reply as he was herded back to the hotel, the others' chatter swirling in the air around him. He glanced at Riku out of the corner of his eye, and couldn't help smirking when Riku scowled when he noticed him watching.

* * *

"Sora…"

Roxas sighed as the constricting arms wrapped around him tightened further, cutting his meager air supply in half. He sent a pleading look towards Kairi, but she was talking quietly with Cloud. Riku was simply watching them, smirking. Roxas managed a scowl in his direction.

Finally, Sora took a step back, grinning brightly even as he wiped a sleeve across his eyes. Namine stepped forward and wrapped her fingers around Roxas's, squeezing gently. Roxas leaned down and tried to get Sora to look at him.

"C'mon, Sora, you're coming back for my graduation, remember? It's just a couple of months," he said, striving to keep his tone upbeat. The brunette crossed his arms and scuffed his toe against the carpet.

"I know," he murmured, his eyes flicking over to rest briefly on Riku and Kairi in turn. "But this was nice, you know?" Roxas nodded, reaching out and wrapping his cousin in an impulsive one-armed hug.

"Yeah," he breathed, resting his forehead against Sora's. "Yeah, it was." Sora closed his eyes and relaxed against him, smiling, before he stepped back, running his hands through his hair.

"Hey, Rox?" he asked softly. "You're okay now, right?" Roxas grinned, tightening his fingers around Namine's.

"Yeah," he breathed. "Yeah, I'm okay." Sora glanced up at him, grinning, before he bent and swung his carry-on over his shoulder. "Keep him out of trouble, okay?" he asked brightly, wrapping Namine in a hug. Namine smiled and tugged on a spike of his unruly hair.

"Of course," she said, smiling up at Roxas. "Someone has to." Roxas scowled as they laughed together, Sora's expression sobering as a disembodied voice, filtered out by the white noise of the surrounding crowds, tried to direct passengers to their desired destinations.

"Tell Axel I said bye," he murmured, scratching at the back of his head. Roxas nodded. Sora bent over and peered into his face before he smiled again, straightening and running his hands through his hair. "So," he announced, flicking his gaze up to Cloud as he walked up to them, Kairi and Riku trailing behind. "We've gotta go." Cloud nodded, wrapping the brunette in a brief hug before he stepped back.

Sora grabbed Kairi's hand, biting his lip before he turned and grabbed Riku, hauling his friends behind him as he marched down the short corridor toward the terminal. He paused just before they rounded the corner, turning and waving back at them, a large smile on his face before Riku rolled his eyes and tugged him forward, giving his own little sardonic wave before they disappeared from view.

Roxas stood and looked silently at the place Sora had so recently filled until Namine gave his fingers a gentle squeeze; glancing down at her, he smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Cloud cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck. "It'll be quiet around the apartment," he muttered. Roxas nodded, but his smile didn't dim.

"Yeah," he agreed, sighing. "It will."

Cloud turned and headed for the door, but Roxas lingered. Namine glanced up at him, gentle concern in her eyes. "Are you really okay?" she asked, brushing his hair out of his eyes. Roxas grinned and tightened his arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah."

* * *

Roxas stared at the dark ceiling, his eyes picking out patterns in the cracked plaster as he waited for sleep to overtake him. He'd been tracing the same lines for the past hour with the same result – he was wide-awake. Rolling onto his side, he curled into a ball, trying to coax his body into slumber. His eyes popped open almost immediately. This was not working.

Sighing, he sat up, pushing the covers off of him as drew his knees to his chest. Axel stirred beside him, and Roxas took the chance that the redhead was still awake.

"Hey, Axel?"

"Mm?"

"Are you awake?"

"No."

Roxas scowled down at him, reaching down and gently shaking the redhead's shoulder. Axel batted his hand away with a groan. "It's too late for this, Roxas," he groused. "Or too early," he added with a yawn. "What time is it, anyway?" Roxas shrugged, reaching over Axel to smack the snooze button on his alarm so that the numerals would light up.

"A little after two." He winced. Axel groaned again, rolling over and burying his head under the covers.

"Go to _sleep_," he mumbled. "Some of us have to get up for work in the morning." Roxas huffed at him, pulling his fingers through his hair.

"I've _tried_," he complained. "I can't fall asleep."

"Quit talking," Axel muttered. "That usually helps." Roxas scowled at him again before he slid back underneath the covers, staring back up at the ceiling. He rolled onto his side, tangling the sheets around his legs – with an aggravated huff, Axel tugged at them sharply and rolled Roxas back onto his back. "Go to sleep, or I'm calling your brother and telling him where you're _really_ spending the night," he growled. The threat was made substantially less, well, threatening by the giant yawn that followed it. Roxas smirked.

"You're the one who'd wind up missing body parts, remember?" he chided, rolling over to face him. Axel regarded him narrowly from beneath the covers, eyes glittering in the dark.

"Shut up, Roxas," he yawned. "It'd almost be worth it."

Roxas smiled and closed his eyes, _willing_ the sleep to come. Five minutes later he was tossing and turning irritably, tangling the covers into a hopeless mess. There was a long-suffering groan from Axel's side of the bed. "You are two seconds from sleeping on the couch," he grumbled, reaching out and laying an arm over Roxas's chest, holding him down.

Roxas stilled himself under Axel's touch, heaving a deep sigh when the redhead didn't remove his arm. He poked at Axel's hand, trying to slip out from underneath him, but Axel was actively holding him down. Roxas groaned and smacked lightly at his arm in irritation. "Lemme up, I need some water."

"Like hell you do," Axel mumbled. "You're just gonna get up, wander around the damn apartment until you get tired of _that_, and then wake me up when you try to sneak back in here." He dragged Roxas toward him with a tired sigh. "Just lie still for five minutes, would you?"

Grumbling, Roxas readjusted his limbs as they tangled with Axel's, tucking his head underneath the redhead's chin as Axel trailed his fingers lightly down Roxas's back. He closed his eyes, finally feeling somewhat sleepy pressed against Axel's warm skin. He was just beginning to doze when he snapped back to full consciousness, eyes flying open as he remembered what he'd been trying to ask in the first place.

"Axel?"

"I swear to God, Roxas, shut up."

Roxas sighed heavily and pushed away from Axel, shivering as he slipped from under the covers and padded to the door. "Where are you going?" Axel groaned irritably, wiping one hand over his face.

"Water," Roxas answered shortly, closing the door firmly behind him. Successfully managing to avoid stubbing his bare toes on his way to the kitchen, he pulled a glass down from the cupboard and yawned widely as he filled it with water from the tap.

Turning, he almost dropped the glass when he found Axel standing behind him, looking decidedly irritated.

"What are you doing up?" Roxas asked, clutching at the counter for support. "You scared the shit out of me."

Axel scowled, reaching out and taking the glass from Roxas's hand. Setting it on the counter, he grabbed Roxas's arm and dragged him back into the bedroom. Tugging the blond down to sit next to him, he tucked one leg underneath him as he regarded Roxas wearily. "Talk," he moaned, waving one hand vaguely in the air.

Roxas frowned at him, and Axel rolled his eyes. "Talk or go to sleep," he grumbled, crawling back to his side of the bed. He glanced back when Roxas crawled under the covers after him, leaning against the redhead as Axel propped himself up against the wall.

Roxas burrowed his head against Axel's neck, smiling at the familiar sensation of warm fingers threading their way through his hair as Axel yawned above him. "Well?" Axel prompted, voice already sounding fuzzed at the edges. Roxas sighed as he tried to word what he wanted to say.

"Do you remember when you told me you remembered stuff about me that'd never happened?" he asked quietly, tracing nonsensical shapes against Axel's skin.

"Mm-hmm." Roxas hesitated, trying to figure out what he really wanted to ask.

"Did – did you always know it was me? That you were remembering? I mean –" He frowned, trying to find a way to get at the heart of what he wanted to know. "When did you know it was me?" he asked.

Axel gave a twitch that had probably been meant as a shrug. "D'unno," he murmured, his head falling forward. He rested his cheek against the top of Roxas's head, his breath stirring Roxas's hair when he spoke. "Maybe – maybe a day or two after you ran into me." He sighed, gently shoving Roxas away so that he could slip back down underneath the covers, pulling the blond against him once he was comfortable.

"Why?" Roxas muttered.

"Mass psychosis," Axel mumbled, a ghost of his usual smirk crossing his features when Roxas regarded him incredulously. "Too many heavy metals in the water. Why are you asking about this now?"

"You don't think it's weird?" Roxas demanded, reluctantly relaxing against the redhead, feeling his own eyes growing heavy. Axel chuckled tiredly.

"You can't spring this stuff on me at two in the morning, Roxas."

"You're not gonna remember any of this, are you?" Roxas sighed, pulling himself closer to Axel.

"Sure, Roxas. Just go to sleep."

Roxas found he couldn't muster the energy for a coherent response; with a defeated sigh, he let his eyes fall closed and his conscious mind sink into dreams.


	13. Daydreams and Nightmares

(A/N): This chapter was another one that just fought me every step of the way. As always, thank you for your reviews, they are my happy crack.

Disclaimer: The usual disclaimers apply.

Daydreams and Nightmares

Roxas succumbed to a wide yawn, hunching his shoulders as he leaned against the wall, waiting for Namine. She'd asked him to come over after school, and while Roxas had a sneaking suspicion she was going to make him pose again, he'd readily agreed. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he stared at his shoes, thoughts turning in lazy circles, always wandering back to rest on the questions he'd tried to ask Axel.

Predictably, Axel hadn't remembered much of their early morning conversation, and Roxas hadn't had time to bring it up again before the redhead had landed a quick kiss on his temple and bolted out the door, already late for work. Roxas hadn't seen him since. With Sora's departure, Cloud had insisted Roxas spend a little more time around the apartment, fixing his younger brother with a withering scowl when Roxas had wondered aloud if he was suffering from empty nest syndrome.

"Roxas?"

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Roxas straightened and ran a hand through his hair, trying to force a convincing grin to his face. Namine was regarding him with a furrowed brow, books clasped across her chest as she tilted her head to the side, nibbling at her bottom lip. "Are you okay?" Roxas nodded distractedly, shifting his backpack further up his shoulder. With a sigh, Namine stepped forward and slipped her arm into his, leading him away from the school. "What's wrong?"

A small grin stole its way across Roxas's face as he squeezed her arm. "Just thinking," he muttered, bumping her shoulder with his when she fixed him with a quizzical frown. Namine didn't look entirely convinced, but she nodded and turned her eyes forward again.

Roxas withdrew back into his thoughts, letting Namine guide him through the crowds as his mind wrestled with the same questions again and again. He was startled when Namine came to an abrupt halt, stumbling against her and glancing down in surprise. "Namine, what –"

"Who's that?"

Roxas's throat clenched as he followed the direction of her gaze. Axel was standing further down the street, shoulders hunched and hands shoved in his pockets as he stared down at Larxene. The blonde was wagging a finger in his face, her other hand resting on her hip. Axel didn't look very comfortable, but as Roxas watched, a tremulous grin stole over his face. Roxas wasn't aware he'd grabbed Namine's hand until he felt her fingers squeeze his reassuringly, and she leaned into him the tiniest bit.

"Who is she?" she asked quietly.

"Larxene." His voice wavered a little, and Roxas cleared his throat before he continued. "She, uh, she's a friend of Axel's, I guess." Axel laughed suddenly, reaching out and trying to wrap an arm around Larxene, but she punched his shoulder and stole his cigarette, patting his cheek as she moved past him and further down the street, calling something Roxas couldn't hear over her shoulder. Grinning, Axel shook his head and began digging for another cigarette.

"Axel!"

"Namine!" Roxas couldn't help hissing at the blonde as she slipped her hand out of his and waved to catch the redhead's attention. She only smiled at him. Glancing up, Axel's grin widened as he shoved his lighter back in his pocket.

"Come on, Roxas," Namine sighed, grabbing his hand and dragging him behind her.

"What are you doing?" Roxas whispered fiercely. Namine fixed him with a gentle smile before she turned her attention back to Axel.

"Who was that?" she asked as they walked up to the redhead, releasing Roxas's hand. Axel shrugged and flicked the ash off his cigarette.

"Larxene. I've got a couple classes with her." He raised an eyebrow at Roxas's expression. "What's wrong with you?" Roxas shifted uneasily.

"Is everything…okay?" he asked hesitantly. To his surprise, Axel laughed and threw his arm over Roxas's shoulders.

"I'm a cradle robber, you're jailbait, and we're both going straight to Hell," he replied cheerily. Roxas raised an eyebrow at him.

"This is…good?" he hazarded, grinning in spite of himself when Axel tightened his hold around his shoulders.

"It's the closest she'll ever come to saying she's fine with it," he sighed, pulling the younger boy closer to him. He glanced in the direction Larxene had disappeared. "She's got herself a new boyfriend," he added, smirking. "She always was more easy-going when she was getting lai–" Axel was cut off by the forcible introduction of Roxas's elbow to his ribs. Roxas scowled at him and jerked his head in Namine's direction, but Axel's smirk just widened as he brought his cigarette back up to his lips.

Rolling his eyes, Roxas slipped out from underneath Axel's arm. "Moron," he muttered, trying to stifle the grin tugging at his lip. Axel waved a hand dismissively.

"You coming over later?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the blond. Roxas glanced at Namine and shrugged.

"I don't know. I'll call you, okay?" Axel nodded, drawing Roxas into a quick hug.

"I keep telling you she's not as sweet as she looks," Axel muttered, laughing when Roxas punched his arm. Drawing back, Axel gave Namine a brief wave as he moved down the sidewalk, burying his hands in his pockets. Namine slipped her arm through Roxas's again, and Roxas ducked his head.

"Thanks," he muttered. Namine only smiled.

* * *

"What's wrong?" 

Roxas started and stared at Namine, wincing when his neck protested his movements. Namine was resting her hands in her lap, carefully holding the brush away from her smock as she stared at him. "You can put your arms down," she added, a small smile ghosting over her face.

Sighing, Roxas lowered his arms, rubbing at his stiff muscles. "Nothing," he muttered. Namine frowned at him.

"You haven't complained _once_ since you've been here," she pointed out, tucking her hair back behind her ear. Roxas flushed and glanced away from her. Sighing, she slid off her stool and slipped the smock over her head before she walked over to him. Grabbing his hand, she led him over the bed, tucking her legs underneath her as she rested her hands in her lap and stared at him expectantly.

Averting his eyes from her gaze, Roxas reached for her hand, a small smile spreading over his face when she met him halfway and tangled her fingers with his. Namine shifted until her arm was pressing lightly against his; reaching up and pushing his hair out of his face, she kissed his temple. "Tell me."

Roxas stared at the floor as he tried to word the questions he wanted to ask. "Do you remember the day you showed me those sketches of Axel?" He felt Namine stiffen, but she squeezed his fingers gently. "You said you remembered – I mean, you'd dreamed about us, right?" He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, frowning when he saw she was staring at the floor as well. "Namine?"

"Does it change anything?" she asked softly.

"What?" Roxas blinked at her. Namine sighed and tightened her grip on his fingers.

"I told you I don't know what it means, Roxas," she murmured, keeping her eyes trained on the floor. "Even if I did, does it change anything?" She glanced up at him before she rested her forehead against his shoulder. "Would it change what Axel means to you? Would it change that you're _happy_? You're _allowed_ to be happy, Roxas – why can't you believe that?"

Roxas shifted uncomfortably. "I never said I'm not –"

"Then stop questioning it," Namine sighed, sagging against him. "Yes, it was strange, but – I mean, you found each other, didn't you? Isn't that enough?"

Roxas dragged a hand through his hair before he patted her shoulder awkwardly. "I'm sorry, Namine," he muttered, managing a thin smile when she swept his hair back from his forehead and kissed his cheek. There was a shadow in her eyes when she pulled away, but he let her lead him into the kitchen and plant him in his usual seat. There was a distinct lack of conversation as she prepared their food, and she bit her lip before she wrapped her arms around him as he was leaving.

"Try to forget it," she breathed. "It doesn't matter." Roxas nodded mutely and let her close the door behind him, digging in his pockets for Axel's keys and wrapping his hand around the key chain tightly.

It _did_ matter, because the dreams hadn't stopped.

Sighing, he dug his cell phone out of his backpack, punching in Axel's number and pressing the phone to his ear as he drew his shoulders up against the cold.

"Hello?"

"I don't – I don't think I'm gonna make it today," he muttered.

* * *

Roxas's phone dragged him out of dreams of black nightmares that spun and danced with lethal grace, shadows made solid that disintegrated under the strange weapons clutched tightly in his hands. They blew apart like mist as his conscious mind struggled to the forefront, and Roxas groaned as he stretched his arm out, fumbling for his cell. 

The obnoxious ring tone warbled another five notes before Roxas managed to snag the phone and flip it open; rolling onto his back, he wiped his free hand across his eyes as he mumbled a greeting.

"Hello?"

"Roxas?"

Roxas shoved himself up, propping himself against his headboard as his brow furrowed at his cousin's soft voice. "Sora?" He cast an eye over his clock, blinking until the blurry numerals came into focus. It was after midnight. "What are you doing calling this late?" he asked, stifling a yawn.

There was a slight hesitation before Sora spoke. "I'm sorry, I forgot about the time difference," he muttered, and Roxas could picture the brunette tugging on a strand of hair as he bit nervously at his lip

Roxas ground the heel of his hand into his eyes, trying to force his brain into working order. "Don't worry about it," he mumbled, pushing the covers off his legs in an attempt to let the cold air shock him awake. "What's wrong?" When Sora didn't answer him right away, Roxas sat up straighter, brows creasing in a slight frown. "Sora?"

There was a soft sigh from Sora's end before his cousin spoke hesitantly. "Riku told me…that you guys fought," he sighed, and Roxas winced guiltily at Sora's forlorn tone.

"I'm sorry," Roxas muttered, dragging a hand through his hair as he hunched his shoulders. "We didn't wanna make you worry." Sora squeezed out a small laugh.

"You guys are idiots," he mumbled, and Roxas winced again. "I'm not a kid anymore, you know, you don't have to _protect_ me from everything. I can handle it if you guys don't like each other – I mean, you never got along, even when we were kids…" Sora's voice trailed off, and Roxas heard the brunette swallow thickly before he sighed. "I'm sorry," he laughed. "That's not why I called."

Roxas nodded dumbly, drawing his knees to his chest as he listened to the silence on the other end of the line. "Riku said you asked about the dreams." The words rushed from Sora's mouth as if he'd been straining to force them from his throat for a long time. Roxas swallowed in a throat gone dry.

"Yeah," he muttered harshly. There was another long pause, and it occurred to Roxas they'd spent longer listening to silence than they had actually talking to one another. "Listen, Sora, I –"

"I thought, you know, when you called me – do you remember that? I thought that was like, a one-time thing for you," Sora interrupted, his words running together as he tripped over his tongue trying to get them out. "Because you didn't _mention_ them again, and –" He broke off with a small laugh. "But you wouldn't," he added with a sigh.

Roxas shifted uncomfortably, not sure what Sora wanted him to say. "Why didn't you _say_ anything, Rox?" Sora demanded. Roxas shrugged jerkily before he realized Sora couldn't see the gesture.

"I didn't know what to say," he mumbled. A strained chuckle sounded in his ear, and he could picture Sora running a hand through his hair and grinning.

"Yeah, it is pretty weird, isn't it?" A grudging smile spread across Roxas's face as he listened to Sora laugh softly.

"So, um, how long…?" Roxas trailed off uncertainly, and Sora's laughter died away as he sighed heavily.

"I dunno," he mused. "Since we were kids. I – they still don't make sense, you know? I mean, sometimes Riku and Kairi would tell me they'd dreamed about the same stuff, but it never made _sense_."

Roxas nodded again, pulling a hand through his hair. "Yeah," he muttered. "But – I mean, don't they _bother_ you?"

"It bothers Riku," Sora murmured, and Roxas flinched, not sure why. "He's convinced he did this – this awful _thing_, but…" Sora hesitated, and Roxas could picture him biting his lip. "But it's not _him_," Sora finished vehemently. "Riku's _Riku_, you know? He's not this – this thing of _darkness_ he's so afraid to dream about."

"What about you?" Roxas muttered.

"I don't know," Sora groaned softly. "I don't – it's just too strange. All those black creatures, and there's this weird sword thing that looks like a –"

"You don't think it's weird?" Roxas grated out, glaring at his knees as his free hand tightened into a fist. Sora laughed, the sound loud and harsh in Roxas's ears, but his voice was gentle.

"Of _course_ I think it's weird, Rox," he sighed. Roxas heard him swallow thickly before he asked, "What…I mean, how long –"

"Since I was ten," Roxas breathed, resting his head back against his headboard.

"Did you always know – I mean, did they –"

"Never," Roxas interrupted harshly. "I could never remember what they were about. And now that I _can_…" He trailed off, free hand tangling in his hair.

"Yeah," Sora sighed. "But –" He paused for a second, and Roxas could hear the timid smile in his voice when he spoke again. "But you're _you_, Rox, you know? I mean, they don't change who you _are_."

Roxas released a pent-up breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, his heart thundering in his ears as he gulped for air. "They don't change anything," Sora continued softly. Roxas heard Sora shift his position as his breathing quieted.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" Sora laughed lightly. "You and Riku both. Quit – quit trying to do everything, to take everything on yourselves." Roxas heard Sora inhale deeply. "You've got _friends_, Roxas. Quit trying to do everything alone."

Roxas curled in on himself, unable to quell the soft smile that stretched his lips. "Sorry," he muttered. Sora made a sound of amused exasperation in the back of his throat.

"Idiot," he repeated softly. Silence stretched between them again, but it was comfortable, and Roxas heard the smile in Sora's voice when he said good-bye. Roxas flipped the phone closed and stared at it for a long time before he slid back underneath the covers.

* * *

Cloud frowned at him when he stumbled into the kitchen the next morning, shoving a bowl and the cereal at him without a word. Roxas rubbed at his eyes as he poured the cornflakes, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. 

"Are you feeling all right?"

Roxas glanced up in surprise. His half-brother was regarding him narrowly, cornflakes suspended halfway between the bowl and his mouth as he tilted his head to the side and studied Roxas. He opened his mouth, closed it again, and finally shook his head. "You look a little pale," Cloud muttered.

Roxas scowled down at his cereal bowl, shoveling a spoonful of cornflakes into his mouth. "I'm fine," he mumbled. He heard Cloud sigh heavily before he lowered his spoon back to his bowl.

"Don't talk with food in your mouth," he corrected automatically. Roxas couldn't help the smirk that flashed across his face, and he shoved another spoonful into his mouth to keep from saying anything else.

Cloud didn't speak again, but Roxas felt him watching him all through breakfast. Roxas's shoulders dipped in relief when his brother finally left the apartment. Hurriedly dumping his dishes in the sink, he glanced at the clock on the wall.

He groaned and bolted for the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, Roxas handed his late pass to Miss Gainsborough and slumped into his seat, running his fingers through his shower-damp hair, which felt like ice against his scalp. He glanced back at Namine, but she didn't raise her eyes from her sketchpad, her features drawn in a small frown.

"Are you okay?"

She glanced up at him, and the shadow from the day before was still in her eyes. She sighed, resting her fingers tentatively on his arm as she bit at her lip. "I'm sorry," she murmured.

Roxas blinked at her. "Sorry?" She nodded, ducking her head as she regarded the picture she'd been working on when he came in.

"You – you were really upset, weren't you?" she whispered, and Roxas had to lean forward to catch the words. "About the dreams, and I just – I didn't listen." Roxas placed his hand over hers, squeezing her fingers reassuringly.

"It's okay," he muttered, grinning in spite of himself when she glanced up at him. "It's – I don't know what to think, Namine. But –"

He groaned as the bell rang, giving her fingers another squeeze before he dropped her hand and grabbed his books. "I'll talk to you later, okay?" Namine nodded, a tremulous smile gracing her features before she bent and gathered her things.

The day was a blur – each class melted into the next without notice, and Roxas jumped when the final bell rang. Shoving what he thought might be his homework into his backpack, Roxas wasn't surprised when he turned and found Namine standing behind him. Linking his arm with hers, he sighed as they made their way to the street.

Silence settled around them, but Roxas's thoughts were a churning mass in his head. He glanced at Namine out of the corner of his eye – she was staring at the sidewalk, brow still marred by a small frown. Roxas sighed.

"It's weird," he muttered, grinning when she glanced up at him surprise.

"What's weird?" Roxas shrugged, grin widening.

"Everything. This." He waved his free hand in a vague circle, laughing softly when Namine frowned in confusion. "The dreams, me, Axel, you – everything." He sighed as she tightened her arm around his.

"Are you all right, Roxas?"

Roxas chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah," he muttered. "I mean, I think so. I just don't know what to think right now." He glanced down at her. "But it's not your fault, Namine, okay? It's not." Namine didn't answer, but she grabbed his hand and wrapped her fingers around his tightly.

* * *

Roxas rested his head back against Axel's arm, glancing up at the redhead's face. Axel was totally engrossed in the television, a small, empty smile hovering around the corners of his mouth. He hugged Roxas closer to him distractedly when the blond shifted on the couch, stretching his legs out. 

Roxas flicked his eyes back to the television, then let his gaze wander over to the clock. He'd been here for hours, but the one thing he wanted to ask Axel was sticking in his throat.

He'd wanted to bring it up as soon as he hit the door, but Demyx had been sprawled across the couch, one arm flung over his head as he stared up at the ceiling with a strange smile on his face. Roxas had asked Axel what the hell the musician was doing, but Axel had only shrugged and replied that he'd been acting weird for the past few days.

Roxas had nodded, reluctant to ask Axel about the dreams with Demyx there, but when the guitarist had finally pulled himself off the couch, he'd announced cheerfully that he'd traded shifts and didn't work until the afternoon. Roxas had fought the urge to scream.

Demyx had hovered around them all day, ignoring every hint and jab Roxas threw at him until Roxas wanted to tear his hair out in frustration. Finally, Demyx had grabbed up his guitar case and pulled on his sneakers with a vacant smile – his eyes had cleared for the first time as he laughed and ducked the sneaker Axel flung at him when the musician liltingly reminded them to practice safe sex.

That'd been at least an hour ago. They'd been sitting here for at least an hour, and Axel couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from the damn television. Roxas sighed and squirmed against the redhead, huffing when Axel only grinned down at him for a moment before returning his attention to the flickering screen.

Sighing, Roxas buried his face in Axel's shirt, closing his eyes and inhaling the scents that had become inextricably linked with the redhead in his mind. Axel shifted underneath him, and then Roxas felt a finger prodding at his temple. When he smacked it away and glanced up, he found Axel regarding him with a curious air.

"Okay, what's wrong with you?" Axel quirked an eyebrow and poked at his forehead again, grinning when Roxas scowled and batted his hand away. "C'mon, Rox," he prodded, massaging the base of Roxas's skull. "You've been weird all day."

Ducking his head, Roxas traced lazy circles against Axel's stomach. He'd thought the redhead hadn't noticed his distracted behavior. Biting at his lip, he turned his eyes to the television Axel had been so engrossed in. Axel squeezed the back of his neck gently, and Roxas sighed. "Do you still dream?" he muttered.

Axel hesitated for a second as his hand tightened against Roxas's neck. "The weird memory ones?" Roxas nodded, keeping his eyes glued to the television.

There was a pause, and Roxas glanced at him as Axel ran his fingers up into the blond's hair – Axel was staring at the far wall, head tilted to the side as he considered the question. "I don't know," he mused, eyes far away. "I don't remember them as well now." He glanced down at Roxas, shifting around to face him. "Do you…" He trailed off, raising his eyebrows at the blond.

Roxas flushed and glanced away, resting his head against Axel's chest as the redhead continued to pull his fingers through his hair. He felt a small laugh welling up in his throat, and he suppressed it hastily. He didn't know what to think. He just didn't know.

Sora said they didn't mean anything. Namine wanted him to forget. But they'd led him to Axel. How could they not mean anything? His thoughts followed each other in a never-ending circle, and he couldn't see a way to break the pattern. He sighed as he slouched against the redhead.

"Roxas?" Axel tilted the blond's head up and pressed his lips against Roxas's forehead, cupping Roxas's jaw as he pulled his face forward and captured his lips in a gentle kiss. He wrapped one arm around Roxas's shoulders when he tensed in surprise, holding him loosely before Roxas pulled away.

Axel kept his hand wrapped around Roxas's jaw, and Roxas grabbed his wrist as he stared at him. "Why are you acting so weird?" he asked. Axel shrugged as a small grin flitted across his face.

"Because you are," he murmured, leaning forward and capturing Roxas's lips again. Roxas began to draw away, but Axel kissed his forehead, his breath ghosting through Roxas's hair as he murmured against the blond's skin. "What's wrong?" Roxas stilled himself, letting Axel kiss him again, and when the redhead rubbed his thumb along Roxas's jaw line, Roxas opened his mouth to him. Sighing, Axel threaded his fingers through Roxas's hair.

Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel's neck and pulled the redhead forward, until the older boy was half-straddling him. Axel pulled back a little, searching Roxas's eyes intently. Roxas burrowed his head against Axel's shoulder with a small smile. "It doesn't matter," he muttered, allowing Axel to tilt his head back for another kiss.

"Are you sure?" Axel murmured, following Roxas as he leaned back against the cushions. Roxas nodded, pulling the redhead forward until Axel was straddling his hips.

It didn't matter.

It didn't, Roxas told himself firmly as Axel's fingers ghosted along his sides. Even if he didn't believe it yet, even if he didn't _know_, he could pretend. For this. Axel groaned softly as Roxas's fingers fumbled with his belt, and Roxas smiled against the redhead's lips.


	14. All I Want

(A/N): Hooray for quick updates! And...over two hundred reviews. I am an insanely flattered little authoress. I love you guys. Oh, and there's a very short little snippit in this chapter that's an homage to a movie with the same title. I'll be truly impressed if anyone catches it.

Disclaimer: Nope.

All I Want

Roxas inhaled deeply, half-listening to Axel prattle on about the movie they'd just seen, making small noises in the back of his throat to indicate that he was still paying attention. It'd been a week since he'd talked to Sora, and he hadn't mentioned the dreams to Axel again.

And it was fine.

His eyes flicked to Axel's face when the redhead smacked the back of his head.

"You're not listening to me," Axel grumbled. Roxas scowled at him.

"Yes I am," he muttered, digging his hands deeper into his pockets. Axel sighed and bent down, pressing his lips to Roxas's ear.

"Rox, I just asked if you'd do a strip-tease in the middle of the street," he smirked. He laughed when Roxas flushed and shoved him back, digging a cigarette out of his pocket. "You okay?"

"Mm." Roxas nodded distractedly, smiling when Axel draped an arm over his shoulders and pulled the younger boy into his side. Roxas let his mind haze over as Axel began talking again, watching the pictures the smoke from the redhead's cigarette painted in the chilly air as he gestured widely.

"Are you even listening to me?" Axel demanded, sounding exasperated.

"Mm-hmm."

Sighing, Axel rolled his eyes and ruffled Roxas's hair. "Sure you are," he grinned. Frowning, Roxas ran a hand through his hair, trying to make it lie flat. Giving up, he huffed at Axel's self-satisfied expression and flicked his eyes to the side.

He froze when his gaze fell on a head of familiar blond spikes.

"Shit!" Hissing, he grabbed Axel's arm and dragged the redhead forward, past the window, ignoring Axel's startled shout.

"Roxas, what the hell?" Axel muttered a curse as he stumbled, bringing Roxas to a halt with a forceful tug. Ducking against Axel's side, Roxas tried to peek around the redhead.

"Is he looking this way?" he muttered.

"_Who_?"

"My _brother_," Roxas growled, grabbing a fistful of Axel's coat and dragging him behind him as he dashed across the street.

"_Shit_," Axel spit out, flinching as a car flashed by mere inches from his back. Grabbing Roxas's wrist, he jerked the blond to a stop, spinning him around to face him. "What the _hell_ was that, Rox? You almost got us killed!" Roxas's shoulders slumped as his adrenaline ebbed.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I saw Cloud."

"So what?" Axel demanded, pulling the blond behind him as he leaned against the wall, trying to catch his breath.

"So he doesn't know about…" Roxas motioned vaguely between the two of them. "This," he finished lamely. Axel scowled as he dug for a cigarette.

"He doesn't know what I look like, Roxas," he pointed out sourly. "And it's not like I had my hand down your pants." Roxas flushed and glanced away.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I just wasn't expecting to see him – he almost never goes out." Axel snorted as he lit his cigarette, wrapping an arm tentatively around Roxas's shoulders and pulling the blond against him.

"Is he the one sitting by the window?"

"Yeah."

"He's not even looking this way, idiot," the redhead grumbled, squeezing the back of Roxas's neck. Glancing behind him, Roxas sighed when he saw that Axel was right – Cloud was seated at a table next to the restaurant's window, eyes fixed on the tablecloth, smoothing his fingers over the silverware. Sagging against Axel, Roxas laughed weakly.

"Shit," he murmured, laughing again when Axel smacked the back of his head with an amused grin. Straightening, Roxas ran a hand through his hair as he grinned up at Axel. "Sorry." Axel rolled his eyes as he took a drag on his cigarette, his eyes slipping past Roxas as a small frown tugged at his lips.

"Who's that?"

Brows lowering in confusion, Roxas glanced over his shoulder as Cloud stood to greet someone. Roxas's eyes widened as she kissed Cloud's cheek, not missing the way Cloud's hand lingered against her elbow for a second. "Miss Gainsborough," he muttered hollowly.

Axel leaned forward with a frown, tugging the blond around to face him. "Roxas?" Swallowing thickly, Roxas ducked his head, reaching out and fisting a hand in Axel's dark jacket.

"He's got a nice girl," Roxas murmured, a soft laugh escaping before he could stop it.

"What?" Axel tried to get Roxas to look at him, but Roxas cut his eyes to the side.

"He could've told me," he muttered, fingers tightening in Axel's jacket. He turned his eyes back to Axel, a small smirk on his face. "But I guess fair's fair, right? I didn't tell him about this." Axel simply stared back, brow furrowed in confusion. He laid a tentative hand over the fingers Roxas had tangled in his coat.

"Are you okay, Rox?"

Roxas threw another glance over his shoulder, a small smile spreading over his face when he saw they were seated and talking comfortably, Aerith laughing at something Cloud said. "Yeah," he grinned, turning back to Axel and resting his forehead against his chest. Axel stood awkwardly for a minute before he brought his arms up and hugged Roxas, patting the blond's back hesitantly. Chuckling, Roxas drew away and grabbed Axel's arm, pulling the redhead along behind him as he took off down the sidewalk.

"So what's up with you and your brother?" Axel asked cautiously, struggling to keep up with the blond. Roxas shrugged.

"He had a girlfriend before, you know," he muttered. "Years ago. But she had to move. It's my fault he couldn't go with her, you know that?"

"What are you _talking_ about, Roxas?" Axel asked, cursing when he stumbled. Roxas laughed, the sound high and desperate.

"I'm talking about my _idiot_ of a brother," he panted, tugging at Axel's arm insistently.

"Rox, _slow down_." Axel planted his feet and jerked Roxas to a halt, pulling the younger boy back to face him. Resting his hands on the blond's shoulders, he peered into Roxas's face warily. "What are you talking about?"

Sighing, Roxas shrugged Axel's hands away, stepping forward and leaning against the redhead. Axel immediately wrapped his arms around him, hugging the blond to him as he murmured soothing nonsense into his hair. Roxas squeezed his eyes shut and let Axel hold him, waiting until some of the tension had drained from his shoulders to step back. "He's an idiot," he muttered, ducking his head and grinning at Axel's expression. Sighing, he grabbed Axel's arm. "C'mon."

Axel let Roxas lead him to Nocturne, sliding in across from him when Roxas settled in the corner booth; propping his chin in his hand, Axel stared at Roxas, quirking an eyebrow expectantly. Roxas stared at the table, trying to order his thoughts. When his cup of coffee arrived, he wrapped his hands around it and took a deep breath.

"We're half-brothers," Roxas muttered. "Did you know that?" He didn't look up to see Axel's response – gripping his cup tightly, he scowled down into the coffee. "We didn't – we didn't even really talk to each other when I was younger. I barely saw him – he lived with his mom." He glanced up at Axel, biting at his lower lip. "He had a future, you know? He gave up everything, for something so _stupid_ –" Axel reached out and wrapped a hand around his wrist, squeezing gently. Roxas inhaled sharply, holding his breath for a moment before he blew it out, a wry grin on his face.

"His mom and my dad split up when he was three," he started, locking his gaze with Axel's. "My dad – he wasn't the best parent, probably. Cloud never talks about when he was younger, but when I was growing up, he'd come visit a couple weekends a month. My dad always just sort of…ignored him, y'know? And I was too young – he's seven years older than I am, we didn't have anything in common. He'd just…hang around the house, and my dad would act like he wasn't really there.

"My mom always tried to be nice to him. She'd even make us eat together whenever he was over. He liked her, I think. But when he got older, he'd start skipping weekends, or finding reasons to leave the house. I hardly ever saw him for about a year and a half. Then my mom got sick." He broke off, swallowing thickly. Axel rubbed his thumb against Roxas's wrist in mindless circles, and Roxas took another deep breath.

"She should've gone to see a doctor sooner," he muttered. "But she didn't even tell us she was hurting until after she got the diagnosis. She had t-two…" He trailed off again, clenching his fingers around the coffee cup. "She wound up having to have a mastectomy," he whispered. He ducked his head with a wry chuckle. "And it didn't matter. She still died."

There was a long silence as Roxas stared down at his cup. Axel's thumb continued to wear gentle circles against his skin. Roxas lifted his eyes back to Axel's face, smiling a little at the redhead's expression. "I was ten," he sighed at last, "when she died. I was ten. Cloud started coming every weekend, and – and looking back now, he was really _trying_, but I just didn't want anything to do with him.

"My dad…couldn't deal with it. He started treating me the same way he treated Cloud. I mean, he still took care of me, he still fed me and stuff, but it was like he was never _there_. He just…ignored me. So I started leaving him alone." A small, self-deprecating grin spread over his features. "Namine used to say I got my social skills from him," he chuckled. Axel didn't say anything, his eyes resting patiently on Roxas's face.

Roxas flashed him a crooked smile before he continued. "So – we didn't talk to each other for four years," he laughed. "And Cloud kept trying to help, and I kept ignoring him. And we'd probably still be doing it today if my dad hadn't finally snapped.

"It was stupid," he muttered. "When it finally happened, it was because I was late for dinner. He'd never cared before, but he went nuts. He started screaming at me about how the food was cold, and when I yelled back at him, he hit me. And he just…kept hitting me. And then he locked himself in his study. He was still in there when Cloud found me.

"Cloud – I'd never seen him like that before. He was _furious_. He carried me all the way to the hospital, and he never said a word. He made them take pictures before they cleaned me up, and then he disappeared for a while. When they released me, he took me back to his apartment, and when he sued for custody, my dad didn't fight it. Cloud never talked about him after that, and I never went back to my house – Cloud moved all my stuff himself." Roxas paused again, lowering his eyes back to his coffee.

"He didn't even really _know_ me," he muttered. "All that, when we were practically strangers." He raised his eyes back to Axel's face. "Cid told me once, when he was angry at me, that I didn't know what Cloud gave up when he did that." He hunched his shoulders, eyes wandering away from Axel's. "But I do. And it's my fault." There was a short silence, Roxas gazing at the table as Axel waited for him to sort his thoughts.

"He – he had a girlfriend," Roxas sighed, dragging his free hand through his hair. "Tifa. They'd been planning to move to Destiny Islands, for her job. Cloud was gonna sell his business – he'd gotten the start-up capital from Cid right out of high school, and it was worth enough that he would've had time to find a job out in Destiny Islands. Tifa – she offered to stay, to try and help with me, but Cloud…" He trailed off, staring vacantly at the spot over Axel's right shoulder. "Cloud felt guilty," he muttered at last. "He thought my dad had been abusing me the whole time. He – I think he still thinks I'm lying about it. He told her to go, and they – they tried to keep it going, they tried to make it survive, but…it was too far."

Roxas paused, rubbing tiredly at his temple. "It's not fair," he muttered, laughing dryly. "He had a life waiting for him, he had _everything_, and he just…threw it away." He glanced up when Axel snorted softly.

"You really think so?" Axel's customary smirk was plastered across his face, but he tilted his head to the side and it gentled into a smile. "Moron," he muttered affectionately, squeezing Roxas's wrist before he drew his hand back. Roxas stared at him for a moment before he frowned.

"That's it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the redhead, feeling a grudging smile spreading across his face at the light in Axel's eyes. "I just poured out my _heart_ to you, and that's all you have to say?" Axel grinned, already levering himself out of the booth.

"I guess it is," he mused, throwing down a tip as he pulled Roxas out of the booth, tucking the blond under his arm as he walked to the cash register. Roxas sighed and hid his grin against Axel's coat. He didn't speak again until they'd left the café and Axel had dug out another cigarette.

"Hey," he muttered, poking Axel in the side. Axel glanced down at him with a raised eyebrow. Roxas smirked at him. "I just gave you my _life story_ back there. This is the part where you break down sobbing and tell me yours." Axel's eyebrow traveled a little higher, and he grinned as he took a deep drag on his cigarette.

"No it isn't."

Roxas laughed and burrowed a little further into the redhead's side, tilting his head when Axel threaded his fingers through his hair.

Demyx was on the couch when they got back to the apartment – underneath a dark-haired stranger with one hand in the blond's pants and his mouth attached to Demyx's neck. Demyx was keening breathlessly, his fingers working at the button to the other man's jeans. Axel and Roxas froze in the doorway.

"Holy _fuck_!"

The couple sprang apart, Demyx turning roughly the shade of Axel's hair and the stranger retreating to the other end of the couch, crossing his arms as he shook his hair out of his face. Groaning, Axel pressed a hand to his eyes. "Damn it, Dem, are you _trying_ to scar me for life?"

Spluttering, Demyx waved his hands helplessly in the air. "What are you doing here?" he cried at last, and Roxas had to bite his lip to keep from laughing at the musician's expression. A wicked smirk curled Axel's lips, and Demyx glanced to the side with a small pout.

"I live here," Axel reminded him, raising an eyebrow. "You might wanna zip up there, Dem." Demyx scowled as his color deepened, and Roxas worried distractedly about the guitarist's blood pressure as Demyx snatched a pillow from the floor and settled it over his lap. Axel's eyes traveled to the man on the other end of the couch. "I assume this is the reason you've been acting so damn weird lately?"

The man's visible eye narrowed, but Demyx spoke before he could open his mouth. "This is Zexion," he muttered, waving a hand in the man's direction. He couldn't quite quell the grin that flashed across his face as he glanced at the slate-haired man out of the corner of his eye. "He's a grad student at RGU."

Axel grinned, settling his hand against Roxas's neck. "Where'd _you_ meet a grad student, Dem?"

"I met him at Nocturne," Zexion cut in coolly. He frowned when they all turned to look at him. Demyx laughed sheepishly.

"Uh, Zexion, this is Axel," he mumbled, gesturing at the grinning redhead. "He's my roommate, and uh…yeah." He scratched at the back of his head with an abashed grin before he pointed at Roxas. "That's Roxas. He practically lives here." Zexion nodded to each of them, his hair falling forward into his face again.

"Were you planning on staying?" he asked, the smallest hint of impatience in his voice. Axel's grin widened.

"We interrupt something?" he asked, smirking. Demyx groaned and threw the nearest available thing at Axel's head, laughing in spite of himself when the redhead wasn't fast enough to dodge his cell phone. "And _you_," Axel grumbled, rubbing where the phone had clipped him. "You could've left a piece of paper under the door or something." Demyx flushed and opened his mouth to argue, but Zexion cut him off.

"That was my fault," he said blandly. "Apparently I didn't provide proper warning before I shoved my hand down his pants." Axel blinked at the man, a smirk spreading across his face when the corner of Zexion's lips twitched slightly.

Demyx sent a pleading look toward Roxas, pulling a hand through his hair in agitation. Suppressing a grin, Roxas wrapped an arm around Axel's waist, pulling the redhead back out of the room with him. "So," he smirked, nodding in Zexion's direction. "It was nice to meet you, I guess." Zexion nodded, expression easing as Axel and Roxas backed out the door. Axel pointed at Demyx.

"_You_," he grinned, waving his hand in a vague circle. "Sanitize _everything_." Demyx squawked indignantly as they closed the door; Roxas and Axel glanced at each other and burst out laughing, tripping their way down the stairs and back into the night air.

Axel collapsed onto the front steps, tugging Roxas down to sit next to him. "Oh, man," he breathed, grinning widely as he propped his head in his hands. "I should've seen it – he's been acting so weird lately." He batted Roxas's hand away when the blond poked at the bruise forming on his temple, jerking the younger boy forward until Roxas was sprawled half-way across his lap. "That guy is going to cost me thousands of dollars in therapy," he muttered, ignoring Roxas's indignant shout.

Pushing himself up, Roxas scowled at the grinning redhead. Rolling his eyes and batting Axel's hand away when he reached for him with a mischievous smirk, he settled back on the step and tilted his head back. "So now what?" Axel shrugged.

"We could go see a movie," he offered, propping his chin in his hand.

"We just saw a movie, Axel," Roxas pointed out, scowling when Axel smirked at him.

"Yeah, but seeing as how Dem's kicked us out of the apartment, there's nowhere else we can go to fool around," he grinned, laughing and ducking the fist Roxas threw at his head.

"Moron," Roxas muttered, shaking his head and grinning.

"Oh c'mon, Rox, you know you want to," Axel smirked, tapping a finger against the blond's temple. He laughed at the look Roxas fixed him with, standing and pulling the blond to his feet. Keeping a death grip on Roxas's wrist, he dragged the younger boy behind him as he moved down the street.

* * *

Getting dragged halfway across town had been worth it, Roxas acknowledged, if only for the look on Axel's face.

The movie theater was _packed_.

Axel was scowling, eyes fixed sourly on the screen. Roxas had adamantly refused to leave, pointing out that he'd just spent twenty dollars for a movie he'd never even heard of, and he was damn well going to get his money's worth. Hiding his grin behind a fistful of popcorn, Roxas had to disguise a chuckle as a cough when he offered some to Axel and the redhead gave him a dirty look.

"You're an asshole," Axel muttered, but Roxas didn't miss the grin tugging at the corner of his lips. Roxas shrugged.

"You'll live," he grinned. Axel rolled his eyes, resting his head back against the wall. They were sitting in the very back, in a row that only held three seats; the third seat was empty.

"This wouldn't be an issue if we could go over to your place," Axel complained quietly, pressing a hand against Roxas's thigh. Roxas huffed and smacked it away, leaning his head against Axel's shoulder.

"Shut up," he muttered. "You know why we can't."

"Why don't you just tell him?" Axel sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. He glanced down when Roxas didn't answer him. "What, do you guys still not talk to each other?"

"It's complicated, Axel," Roxas groaned, lifting his head and kissing Axel's throat. He felt the redhead stiffen before he gently pushed Roxas back.

"Don't do that, Roxas," he murmured, frowning. Roxas scowled and turned his eyes back to the screen, trying to ignore Axel watching him.

"Do you know why he's convinced I lied about the abuse?" Roxas asked at last, sagging against the redhead. Axel shook his head, wrapping his arm around Roxas's shoulders. "The stupid fucking dreams," Roxas muttered tiredly. "I could never remember what they were about, but Cloud thought I was lying and having nightmares." His shoulders shook with a mirthless laugh.

"That's it? You're an idiot, Rox," Axel grinned, laughing softly when Roxas glared up at him. "What the hell does that have to do with this? You smacked into me on the street – that's how we met." He tightened his hold on Roxas's shoulders. "You're thinking about this way too hard," he continued. "Just tell him the truth." He paused, a wry smile crossing his features. "Well, not the whole truth," he amended, smirking. "I'm rather fond of my face just the way it is." Roxas stared at him silently, and Axel shook his head and chuckled. "You think too much, Roxas," he muttered, hugging the blond closer to him.

He glanced down when Roxas snaked an arm around his neck. His grunt of surprise disappeared into Roxas's mouth as the blond sealed their lips together.

* * *

"Well," Axel grinned, ignoring Roxas's eye roll. "You'd think they'd ban you for longer than three weeks for something like that."

"Shut up," Roxas muttered, unable to stifle the grin that curved his lips upward. Axel just laughed, flicking the ash off of his cigarette.

A comfortable silence descended as they walked along, Axel smiling to himself as Roxas buried his hands in this pockets and hunched his shoulders against the cold. Roxas let his mind haze over, watching his feet beat a steady rhythm against the pavement. He paused when Axel laid a hand against his shoulder – looking up, he saw that Axel's eyes were fixed further up the street.

Following the redhead's gaze, he saw that Cloud and Aerith were about a block ahead of them, walking arm in arm. He felt a soft smile steal over his face, leaning against Axel when he wrapped an around Roxas's shoulders. "You okay?" Axel asked.

"Yeah," Roxas breathed. "I'm happy for him. It's about time he started getting on with his life." He laughed at Axel's expression, wrapping an arm around the redhead's waist. "Come on," he grinned, pulling Axel forward as he kept his eyes fixed on Cloud's back.

"We are _not_ spying on your brother's date," Axel groaned, smacking at Roxas's arm. Roxas scowled at him.

"This is not _spying_," he grumbled. "This is brotherly concern, and I wouldn't have to do it if that idiot would talk to me."

Axel pulled him to a halt with a groan, running a hand through his hair. "All right," he growled, pulling Roxas around to face him and resting his hands on the blond's shoulders. "We are _not_ spying on your brother, we are _not_ using weird dreams as an excuse to avoid this situation, and _we_ –" Roxas's heart fell at Axel's wide grin, but the redhead only laughed and ruffled Roxas's hair. "Are going to meet the parents," he finished, smirking.

Straightening, he tightened his grip on Roxas's shoulders and stared at him sternly. Roxas opened his mouth to argue, but nothing came out. Shaking his head, he scowled fiercely at the redhead, but Axel's smirk only widened. "I am prepared to stand here all night, Rox," Axel grinned, and as if to illustrate his point, a gust of wind chased itself down the street. Roxas shivered.

"I hate you," Roxas muttered sourly, cutting his eyes away from Axel's face. Axel shrugged.

"I can live with that."

Roxas ran a hand over his face tiredly. "_Fine_," he groaned, moving past Axel and heading in the direction of his apartment. He didn't miss Axel's grin as the redhead turned and fell in step beside him.

Axel settled against the apartment building across the street, pulling Roxas back to rest against his chest and wrapping his arms around the blond's shoulders. "What if he freaks out?" Roxas demanded, reluctantly relaxing against Axel. The redhead shrugged.

"We've been going behind his back this long," he muttered. "We can always do it again."

"What if hates you?" Axel snorted. "What if he freaks out and –"

Axel groaned and buried his face in Roxas's hair. "What if he's fine with it, Rox?" he muttered, and Roxas reluctantly fell silent. He stiffened when he saw Cloud coming down the street, shrinking back against Axel and biting nervously at his lip. Axel sighed and turned him around to face him. "It's fine, Roxas," he muttered, pulling the blond's head against his chest and threading his fingers through his hair. "Let's just go."

Roxas's breath caught in his throat; squeezing his eyes shut, he latched onto the front of Axel's coat. "No," he muttered, grinning. Axel's fingers stilled, and Roxas raised his head and smiled up at him. "No," he repeated, turning and pulling Axel along behind him.

Cloud turned away from unlocking the front door when he caught them in his peripheral vision. He took in everything with a single glance – Roxas's small, nervous grin, the arm Axel had flung over the younger boy's shoulders, the redhead's crooked smile, the way Roxas was leaning slightly into the older boy's warmth.

"All right," he said softly, almost to himself. Roxas's grin relaxed into a pleased smile, and he wrapped an arm around Axel's waist as Axel gently massaged the back of his neck. "All right," Cloud repeated as he clasped the hand Axel extended. "I guess you'd better come in."


	15. Friends and Family

(A/N): Sorry about the wait for this chapter, guys. Reasons include laziness, A.D.D., writer's block, and a severely sprained wrist (which made typing this _fun_). But you don't want to read about that, you want to read the chapter, right? Hope so, anyway. Hope it was worth the wait!

Disclaimer: It's like a mantra or something at this point. I don't own these characters, I don't own these characters...

Friends and Family

Axel shifted awkwardly on the couch, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees before he sat back and crossed his arms loosely over his chest. Roxas laid a hand on the redhead's thigh, giving him an encouraging grin that Axel didn't return. Roxas drew his hand back when Cloud closed the closet door and ambled into the living room, pulling a hand through his hair.

"So you're Axel," he muttered, eyeing the redhead's wild mane of hair and tattoos. Axel nodded, a ghost of his usual smirk flashing across his face. Cloud sighed and scratched at his temple as he settled in the armchair. "Do you want something to drink?" Axel shrugged and shook his head, glancing quickly at Roxas. The corner of Cloud's lips twitched just slightly. "So," he sighed, leaning back in his chair.

"So." Axel stared at Cloud expectantly, and Roxas didn't miss the subtle line of tension running through the redhead's throat. Cloud tilted his head slightly as he studied the two of them, and Roxas resisted the urge to fidget under his brother's gaze.

"I don't suppose," Cloud said at last, crossing his arms over his chest, "that if I said I didn't like the piercings you'd take them out." Axel blinked at him, brows drawing together in confusion before he shrugged.

"No," he replied, a sardonic smile flashing across his face. Cloud nodded thoughtfully.

"Haircut?" Axel's smile widened into a smirk.

"No."

A ghost of a smile graced Cloud's lips for a second. "If I told you to stay the hell away from Roxas?" Axel's expression didn't change, but Roxas caught the way his spine stiffened and his eyes grew hard.

"No."

Cloud's expression gentled for a moment. "That's what I thought," he muttered, nodding to himself. Roxas bit the inside of his cheek and ducked his head. Cloud glanced at him briefly before he turned his attention back to Axel. "How old are you, Axel?" Axel settled back against the couch, arms still crossed over his chest.

"Twenty."

"Roxas is seventeen," Cloud murmured, tilting his head as he studied Axel with a thoughtful expression. Axel shrugged, glancing at Roxas with a small grin.

"Yeah, well, as he's so fond of reminding me, he'll be eighteen in, what – a week?"

"Isn't he a lot younger than your other friends?" Cloud pressed, and Roxas couldn't help shifting his weight as he stared resolutely at his hands. He caught the way Axel's eyes narrowed in his peripheral vision.

"He is," Axel acknowledged, shrugging before he waved a hand dismissively. "I like the kid anyway." Cloud hummed in the back of his throat, cutting his eyes over to Roxas when his younger brother glanced up at the sound. Scowling, Roxas hunched his shoulders and shifted his gaze to the side. Silence descended on the living room, and Roxas tried to surreptitiously wipe his clammy hands against his jeans.

"Roxas."

It took every ounce of self-control Roxas possessed to keep from jumping at his brother's voice. He glanced up, his fingers curling into loose fists at Cloud's small smile. "Could you give us a minute? I'd like to talk to Axel alone." Roxas's heart dropped into his stomach, but he nodded mutely, recognizing the hard light in his brother's eyes. Beside him, Axel visibly stiffened, but he didn't remove his gaze from Cloud's face. Roxas would've liked to give Axel some sign of encouragement, but Cloud frowned at him and he pushed himself up with a scowl, jamming his hands in his pockets as he moved back into his room.

Closing the door, he leaned against it as he tangled a hand in his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. He strained his ears for any echo of conversation from the living room, but the best he could do was hazard a guess at who was speaking. Slumping to the floor on legs that suddenly refused to support him, he thumped his head back against the door, a thousand scenarios running through his head, each worse than the last.

Cloud suspected – worse, Cloud _knew_ the truth of what was going on between them; Cloud was even now telling Axel in his straightforward way exactly what he would do to the redhead if he even _looked_ at Roxas again; Cloud had already crushed Axel's larynx so that he couldn't scream and was cheerfully dismembering him in the living room –

Roxas was jolted out of his increasingly morbid train of thought by the knock on his door. Scrambling to his feet, he turned and wrenched it open, heart knocking a little more painfully than he would've liked. Cloud was standing in the hallway, features carefully blank. Tilting his head, his lips curled a little as he pointed at Roxas's bed. "Sit."

Roxas automatically opened his mouth to argue, but Cloud frowned at him and his teeth clicked together as he swallowed his words. Shoulders slumping, he turned and threw himself down on the bed, staring at his brother expectantly.

Cloud stepped into the room with a sigh, running one hand tiredly through his hair. "Axel's an interesting guy," he muttered, a grin tugging at the corner of his lips as he stared searchingly at Roxas. Roxas fought to keep his expression neutral as he shrugged.

"I guess," he mumbled.

Cloud fixed him with a piercing stare. Roxas fought the urge to lower his eyes, fingers clenching in his sheets as he met his brother's gaze with a sullen glare. Finally, Cloud was the one to duck his head and glance away, a small smile on his lips. "All right," he muttered, distractedly sweeping his hair out of his eyes. "I'm going to bed. Wrap it up and send him home – you've got school in the morning, and I've already told Axel everything I needed to." He rolled his eyes at Roxas's expression, turning and heading for his own room. "I didn't kill him," he mumbled, rubbing one hand against the back of his neck.

Roxas waited until he heard Cloud's door close before he shoved himself to his feet and jogged back into the living room. Axel was still on the couch, looking slightly shell-shocked. His features twisted into a wryly-amused smile when Roxas sat tentatively next to him. "Your brother is…interesting," he muttered, laughing a little at Roxas's expression.

"Are you, uh – are you okay?" Roxas asked, regarding the redhead carefully. Axel's smile widened as he reached out and slung an arm around Roxas's neck, ignoring the way Roxas tensed and tried to draw away.

"I know more than I ever wanted to about how to kill a man with only my fingers," he mused. Roxas felt his stomach sink.

"You told him?" he hissed, bringing his face close to Axel's. Axel shrugged.

"Didn't say a word," he grinned. "But yeah, I think he suspects. I received very _graphic_ descriptions of what your brother would do with my soft tissue if I fuck with you." His grin widened when Roxas made a strangled sound in the back of his throat and tried to squirm out from under his arm. "Relax and _listen_ to me, Rox," he insisted, holding the blond in place.

"Shit, shit, shit." Hissing under his breath, Roxas struggled to throw off Axel's arm, but the redhead only tightened his hold until Roxas stilled, sagging against him.

"You done?" Axel asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Shut up," Roxas grumbled, curling his fingers in Axel's shirt, drawing back and punching him shallowly in the chest. Axel just laughed.

"_You_ shut up and listen, Roxas," Axel sighed, sliding his hand up to cradle Roxas's head. "Your brother's got a pretty good idea what's going on, and, thinly veiled threats aside, I'm still sitting here. What does this tell you?"

A small, disbelieving smile spread across Roxas's lips as he ducked his head and rested it against Axel's shoulder. "You're an ass."

Axel snorted, fingers curling around strands of Roxas's hair. "Idiot." Roxas didn't bother to respond, tightening his fingers around Axel's shirt as he let his eyes slide closed. His shoulders sagged as the tension left his body, and his smile widened when he felt Axel press his lips briefly to the top of his head.

"So now what?" Roxas murmured. He glanced up when Axel didn't answer right away, his heart sinking at the mischievous smirk plastered across the redhead's face.

"Think your brother would flip out if we had sex on the couch?"

Roxas couldn't help laughing as he shoved Axel to the floor, the redhead springing to his feet and making a break for the door before Roxas could belt him with the throw pillow. Shaking his head, Roxas pushed himself up and ambled over to the closet door, pulling Axel's jacket out and waiting until he heard the redhead's knock. When he opened the door, Axel was grinning down at him, hands shoved in his pockets. Roxas quirked an eyebrow, holding his jacket out to him. "Forget something?"

Smirking, Axel pushed the jacket aside and captured Roxas's lips in a kiss, letting out a small sigh of contentment when Roxas huffed and wrapped his arms around his neck.

* * *

Roxas fidgeted uncomfortably as Namine smoothed the jacket over his shoulders, smiling brightly before she stepped back and tilted her head to the side. 

"So?" Roxas demanded, fiddling with his tie.

"You look fine, Roxas," Namine sighed, tucking her hair back behind her ear. Roxas scowled and tugged forcefully at his jacket sleeves.

"This is _not_ how I planned celebrating my birthday dinner," he grumbled, frowning at his reflection. Namine wrapped her arms around his waist and propped her chin on his shoulder.

"It's not your birthday yet," she pointed out, smiling when he scowled at her reflection.

"Why the heck do we have to go, anyway?" he continued. Namine sighed and stepped back, swatting him lightly across the head.

"Because Axel asked you to," she chided, reaching up and pecking his cheek when he turned toward her.

"Only because Demyx asked _him_," Roxas groused, pulling a hand through his hair. Namine shrugged and wrapped her arms around herself.

"It's important to him, Roxas. _Try_ to be nice?" Roxas's scowl melted into a grudging smile when she grabbed his hand and led him to the door. Wrapping him in a hug, she sighed and kissed his temple before she ushered him out the door.

* * *

Demyx opened the door at Roxas's knock, a nervous smile stretching his lips wide. "Hey, Roxas, come on in." Roxas raised an eyebrow at the musician's attire – Demyx was wearing a pale gray suit, sedate tie held firmly in place by a plain metal clip. The guitarist couldn't seem to stop fiddling with the jacket sleeves. "Sorry," he muttered, closing the door behind Roxas. "I know you and Axel wanted to try and do something for your birthday." Roxas felt some of his irritation return, but he couldn't make it last as he gazed at Demyx's anxious expression. 

"It's fine," he replied, shrugging. A genuine smile flashed across Demyx's face for a moment, and Roxas had the unnerving thought that Demyx was going to hug him, but the musician settled for clapping a hand against Roxas's shoulder.

"Thanks."

There was a loud crash from the direction of the bathroom followed by what was clearly Axel, swearing colorfully at the cabinet, which had apparently spilled its contents into the sink. Demyx's hand tightened around Roxas's shoulders before he broke into helpless peals of laughter. Eyeing the musician warily, Roxas tapped his hand gently. "You okay?"

Demyx took a moment to calm himself, wiping at his eyes as he fixed Roxas with a watery grin. "I shouldn't be this nervous," he muttered, almost to himself. "It's not like it's a first date." Roxas raised an eyebrow, but refrained from commenting.

It had been almost a week since he and Axel had met Zexion, and the slate-haired man had become something of a familiar sight around the apartment, though he barely spoke to anyone but Demyx. So when Axel told Roxas that Demyx wanted them to accompany him on some sort of dinner for Zexion, Roxas had been surprised – even more so when Axel had followed that news with the fact that it was apparently going to require wearing a suit. "At least you don't have to pay," Axel had pointed out, smirking at Roxas's frustrated expression.

So, two days later, Roxas was half-supporting a semi-panicked Demyx and listening to Axel hurl curses at the bathroom cabinet, dressed in a tan suit that was slightly too big for him, the collar of his dress shirt pinching at the skin of his neck.

The evening was not off to the best start.

Axel stormed out of the bathroom, the top button of his shirt undone and his dark tie draped over his shoulders and swinging with his movements. When he caught sight of Roxas he paused, his eyes lighting up as he dragged a hand through his hair. "Well, you clean up pretty good," he grinned, cocking his head to the side and taking in Roxas's appearance. Roxas scowled at him as Demyx finally released his shoulder and stood up straight.

"What did you do to the bathroom, Axel?" he asked, rubbing gently at his temple. Axel's eyes narrowed as he jabbed a hand viciously in the direction of the bathroom.

"Damn fucking cabinet came loose," he snarled. "There's shit _everywhere_." Demyx groaned and wiped his hand tiredly over his face before he glanced at his watch.

"It'll have to wait," he muttered. "We have to leave in, like, five minutes." Grumbling, Axel began fumbling with his tie, fixing Roxas with a crooked smile when the blond rolled his eyes and stepped forward, batting Axel's hands out of the way. As soon as Roxas stepped back, Axel slipped a finger against the knot and loosened it, grinning at Demyx's expression.

"Just be happy I'm _in_ a suit, Dem," he advised, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Demyx shrugged helplessly before he turned and headed for the door. Axel shook his head and laughed before he followed, slinging an arm over Roxas's shoulder as he dragged him along.

"So what are we celebrating?" Roxas ground out, finally managing to fling Axel's arm off of him as they started down the sidewalk. Demyx shrugged jerkily, fingers playing over the edges of his jacket sleeves once again.

"Zexion got something published," he muttered, grinning. "Some sort of really important scientific journal or something – it's a really big thing for him." Roxas couldn't help smiling at the bashful pride he heard in the musician's voice.

Demyx became jittery and withdrawn when they descended to the subway, staring sightlessly at the train's floor as they traveled toward the restaurant. Roxas glanced at Axel, but the redhead only shrugged and smiled, smacking Demyx lightly on the back of the head when they reached their stop to jolt the musician out of his daze.

Demyx's expression eased when they spotted Zexion standing on the sidewalk with two other men, conversing quietly. The slate-haired man glanced up, and Roxas swore he saw something in Zexion's eyes light up when they fell on Demyx, but he only nodded in greeting. When they reached his small group, he turned to make introductions, but was cut off by one of his companions.

"I wasn't aware you'd invited so many people to join us, Zexion," he mused, narrowing icy green eyes at Axel. From the wide grin that settled itself over Axel's features, Roxas assumed it wasn't their first meeting.

"I invited Demyx," Zexion rejoined coolly, glancing at the musician. Demyx flushed and fiddled with his cuffs, but before he could open his mouth to apologize, Zexion stepped forward and grabbed him lightly by the elbow. Ignoring the glaring match taking place between Axel and the other man, he propelled Demyx forward until he was standing before the other person making up Zexion's small party. "Demyx, this is Lexaeus. Lexaeus, this is Demyx." He glanced over his shoulder, his gaze sweeping across Axel and Roxas. "These are friends of Demyx – Axel and Roxas."

Roxas looked up. And up. Lexaeus towered over them silently, his large hand dwarfing Demyx's when the musician shook it tentatively. "It's, uh, nice to meet you," Demyx murmured, a shaky smile on his lips. Lexaeus nodded, withdrawing his hand.

"The pleasure's mine," he said quietly, his eyes moving over Roxas and Axel. Roxas inclined his head, rubbing absently at the back of his neck, and Lexaeus nodded back before his gaze settled on Axel and the man waiting to be introduced – they'd fallen into a biting conversation of their own.

"I had no idea Zexion kept such _interesting_ company," the pale-haired man sneered, features set in distaste. Axel crossed his arms over his chest, cocking his head to the side.

"Aw, what's wrong, Vexen? Aren't you happy to see me again?" he asked, a crooked grin spreading across his face at Vexen's expression. Vexen's eyes narrowed.

"I can't call the experience pleasurable, seeing as how you _blew up_ the chemistry lab at our last meeting." Roxas rocked back on his heels, stuffing his hands into his pockets and grinning as he watched the two go back and forth. Behind him, Demyx groaned quietly until Zexion laid a hand against his arm, briefly giving the blond's hand an encouraging squeeze.

"I didn't blow up the damn lab," Axel scoffed, waving a hand dismissively under Vexen's nose. "_One_ station got _slightly_ singed when some idiot of a professor broke my concentration."

"You weren't working on the prescribed problem," Vexen glowered, crossing his arms over his chest. "You were, in fact, working with highly unstable chemicals that you snuck from the cabinet when my back was turned."

"The _prescribed problem_ was boring," Axel drawled, smirking widely. Before the argument could escalate, Zexion stepped forward and laid a hand against Axel's shoulder.

"I see you two have already met," he said blandly, surreptitiously pushing Axel backward to create more space between the two. He fixed the redhead with a blank stare. "I had no idea you took classes at RGU, Axel." Vexen scoffed, waving a hand in the air dismissively.

"This _miscreant_ does not attend RGU," he sniffed disdainfully. "Last semester I took it upon myself to teach a course at the Hollow Bastion community college. The experiment didn't last long," he frowned, "as the chemistry lab was damaged beyond repair within the first month of the semester."

"Don't be so fuckin' dramatic," Axel sighed, pulling a hand through his hair. "I _paid_ for the damages, didn't I?"

"And yet it still seems you haven't grasped that swearing is nothing more than a crutch for the weak-minded," Vexen shot back. Roxas stepped forward before Axel could reply, grabbing the redhead by the elbow and jerking him away from the older man.

"Axel, have you met Lexaeus?" he asked, voice dripping with sincerity. Leaning closer, he hissed in Axel's ear. "Knock it off, moron." Scowling, Axel reluctantly abandoned the conversation, though Roxas had to drive a preemptive elbow into his ribs at the smirk that curled his lips when he shook Lexaeus's hand.

"So how do you two know Vexen?" Roxas asked, striving to drive back the crick he was rapidly developing in his neck from trying to stare up at Lexaeus. Lexaeus lifted his broad shoulders in a shrug.

"He was Zexion's advisor when he was an undergraduate," he murmured, crossing his arms over his chest. "He provided valuable assistance during the writing of Zexion's paper."

"Really?" Axel looked a little taken aback, but he quickly covered it with a shrug. "Doesn't seem like a very helpful bastard to me." Roxas arched an eyebrow at him.

"Could it have something to do with you playing with unstable chemicals?" he asked thoughtfully, grinning at the look Axel fixed him with.

"Don't start," Axel warned, poking forcefully at Roxas's temple. Rolling his eyes, Roxas batted his hand away, grinning when he turned and found that Demyx had finally relaxed and was grinning widely at something Zexion was saying.

"Shall we?"

Glancing up in surprise, Roxas could only nod mutely as Lexaeus swept an arm toward the entrance, grabbing Axel before he could take up his biting argument with Vexen again. Rolling his eyes, Axel allowed himself to be dragged inside, glancing back and grinning at the faint flush that spread over Demyx's cheeks when Zexion held the door for him.

Zexion smoothly steered Vexen and Axel to opposite ends of the table, taking a seat between Demyx and Roxas as he flicked his hair out of his face. As everyone got settled, a low hum of conversation settled over the table, and Roxas sat back and enjoyed the words washing past him, not really listening to what was being said. He grinned when Axel poked his temple, rolling his eyes when Roxas fixed him with an inquisitive gaze.

Lexaeus dwarfed the table and his dinner companions, but he abstained from the conversation for the most part, seemingly satisfied to contribute a short sentence or two when questioned, though once or twice he offered input that confirmed he was paying attention and, more often than not, proved to be direct and insightful. Toward the end of dinner, Roxas tapped Zexion's arm. When the slate-haired man turned toward him, expression neutral, Roxas dipped his head in Lexaeus's direction.

"Where the heck did you meet this guy? Did you two have classes together or something?" Roxas asked, brushing a stray piece of hair out of his face. Zexion shrugged, turning his attention back to his smoked salmon.

"We shared some classes as undergraduates," he confirmed, "though I would consider him more a friend than a classmate. We met our second year, in the library. We met several times over the course of the semester, and after some discussion, I persuaded Lexaeus to pursue a career in the harder sciences. He wound up being an advisee of Vexen's, and we saw a lot of each other throughout the rest of our undergraduate careers."

"What was his major?" Roxas asked, eyeing the silverware that resembled toothpicks in Lexaeus's hands.

"Philosophy." Zexion's deadpan delivery was the only thing that kept Roxas from laughing. Choking on his own voice, Roxas fumbled for his water as Zexion studied him curiously, clearly not understanding the source of Roxas's sudden trouble.

As the dinner wound to a close, Demyx groaned happily and sat back in his chair, patting his stomach. "Thanks for inviting us, Zexion," he sighed. Zexion only nodded, but Roxas saw them link their fingers together under the table. Grinning, he glanced around the table – everyone seemed to have eaten their fill, even Lexaeus, who was resting his hands against his stomach with an expression of perfect contentment.

Straightening suddenly, Lexaeus grasped his glass of water and raised it, waiting until all eyes were on him to speak. "Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure getting to know you, but let's not forget why we're here – to celebrate the hard-earned recognition of our friend." He paused, a small smile ghosting across his face as the others lifted their glasses as well, Vexen's eyes lighting up for the first time. "To Zexion," Lexaeus said simply.

"To Zexion," the others echoed, clinking glasses all around. Roxas wasn't sure, but he thought he saw Zexion's lips quirk just slightly before the man ducked his head.

* * *

Roxas hung back with Axel as the others said their good-byes. A rare smile crossed Zexion's face as he shook Lexaeus's hand, and there was something very much like pride in Vexen's countenance as he bid the slate-haired man goodnight. 

"You could always make peace with him, you know," Roxas muttered, poking Axel in the ribs with his elbow. Axel scoffed as he dug for a cigarette, pulling Roxas a little further from the restaurant's entrance before he lit it.

"Some things you can't change, Roxas," he muttered, grinning as he slung an arm over Roxas's shoulders. Roxas rolled his eyes before he shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"It wasn't so bad," he murmured, grinning as he watched Demyx rub at the back of his head as the others laughed at something he said, expression unsure until Zexion laid a hand briefly against his shoulder.

"No, it wasn't," Axel agreed, taking a deep drag on his cigarette. "He's a cold bastard, but he's good for him," he added off-handedly, eyes trained on Zexion and Demyx. Roxas smiled at the expression on the redhead's face. Flicking the ash from his cigarette, Axel glanced down at him and grinned, tightening his arm around Roxas's shoulders. "So, seeing as how your birthday dinner got hijacked, we'll have to come up with something else, huh?" Roxas shrugged.

"I guess," he murmured, grinning as Lexaeus and Vexen finally broke away from the other two. Turning toward them, Demyx smiled brightly before he bounded forward and wrapped them both in a tight hug.

"Thank you, guys," he muttered.

"Of course, idiot," Axel mumbled, grinning as he cuffed the back of Demyx's head. Laughing, Demyx stepped back, rubbing one hand against the back of his neck. Axel's eyes moved past him to Zexion.

"You coming back to the apartment?" he asked, arching an eyebrow. Zexion tilted his head to the side before he shrugged.

"I was actually planning to go home," he answered levelly. Demyx tried not to look disappointed, and a small smile swept across Zexion's face. "I need to borrow Demyx for a bit, though." Axel smirked, perching his cigarette between his lips as he reached up and loosened his tie.

"Long as I get him back in reasonably good condition," he grinned, ignoring Demyx's aggravated groan. Stifling a grin, Roxas wrapped an arm around Axel's waist.

"We'll see you guys later, okay?" Demyx ran a hand through his hair and nodded, grinning as Zexion stepped up beside him.

"Thank you for coming," Zexion said quietly, expression tranquil. "It was…nice." A soft smile stole over Demyx's face, and Axel nodded before he pulled Roxas forward, clapping a hand against Zexion's shoulder as they moved past him and down the sidewalk.


	16. Birthday Surprises

(A/N): So, I just recently checked my stats, as I usually reply to reviews and such straight from my inbox, and...there are a lot of you out there with this on your alerts and faves. I'm truly blown away. So I just have to say thanks again for sticking with this fic, and for your patience with my erratic updating. And as always, I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer: Say it with me now - I don't own any of this. Nope.

Birthday Surprises

"Roxas!"

Staggering back, Roxas peered down at the brunette currently trying to cut off his air supply. "What?" he yawned, trying to peel Olette's arms from his shoulders and make his way to his seat. Stepping back, Olette flicked her bangs out of her face and huffed at him.

"It's your birthday," she chided, grinning. Before he could answer, an arm wrapped itself around his neck from behind, trapping him in a headlock.

"Happy birthday, Roxas!" Hayner crowed, digging his knuckles into Roxas's scalp. "Finally!" Laughing, he slapped Roxas on the back, simultaneously spinning away from the blond. "See you at lunch!" he threw over his shoulder as he bolted from the room, trying to make it back to his homeroom before the bell rang. Scowling, Roxas pulled his fingers through his hair, trying to make it lie flat; rolling her eyes, Olette grabbed his arm and pulled him to his seat.

Namine and Pence were grinning widely, and Roxas shifted uncomfortably. "What?" Pence's grin widened as Olette crossed her arms and pouted.

"_Roxas_, it's your eighteenth birthday! You could be a _little_ excited, you know." Roxas didn't even have time to open his mouth before a small packet wrapped in bright paper was shoved into his hands.

"That's from all of us," Pence beamed. "You'll get the rest at lunch."

Blinking, Roxas turned the box over, listening to something shift and clink inside. "Well _open_ it," Olette sighed. Grinning, Roxas hastily tore off the wrapping paper, flipping the box open and shaking the contents into palm.

His eyes widened at the small black key chain.

"Do you like it?" Olette asked, fiddling nervously with the tip of one braid. Roxas traced the points of the crown, a slow smile spreading across his face. "It's just, you're always playing with that other one, we thought maybe…"

"Yeah," Roxas murmured, glancing up at her. Her face relaxed into a pleased smile as he turned his attention back to the key chain. "Yeah, I do."

"The bell rang five minutes ago." Miss Gainsborough smiled at them before she pointed to the clock, and Pence and Olette took their seats with sheepish expressions. Namine leaned forward, laying a hand over Roxas's arm and squeezing gently.

"Happy birthday, Roxas." Roxas grinned.

"Thanks."

* * *

Roxas stared at the cupcake with mild bemusement. He didn't know how Olette had managed it – the thing was _huge_. A single candle was set on top, with the message _Happy birthday Roxas_ scrawled around it in purple icing.

"Well, we can't light it," Olette muttered, looking a little annoyed.

"It's fine," Roxas insisted, grinning.

"You'll just have to pretend to blow it out," the brunette concluded with a smile, clapping her hands together. Roxas fixed her with a blank look. "Oh c'mon, Roxas, it's a birthday tradition," Olette wheedled, bending down to bring her eyes closer to level with his.

"She's got a point," Pence added, grinning at the look Roxas flashed him.

"It wouldn't hurt, Roxas," Namine said quietly, and Roxas raised an eyebrow at her quiet smile.

"You too?" Namine's smile only widened as she rested her chin in her hands.

"We're waiting."

"C'mon, just do it, Roxas," Hayner grumbled, grabbing the back of the blond's neck and holding his head in front of the cupcake.

"Hayner!"

Ignoring Olette's scolding tone, Hayner grinned, bringing his face around so that Roxas could see him from the corner of his eye. "Make a wish," he advised, smirking. Scowling, Roxas blew a puff of air in the general direction of the candle. "See, was that so hard?" Hayner laughed, releasing Roxas's neck. Ignoring him, Roxas rubbed at the back of his neck, a grudging smile spreading over his face as Olette attempted to cut the cupcake with a fork, grumbling in frustration.

A few minutes later, everyone had similarly sized lumps of cupcake crumbling all over their plates, but Olette was beaming in perfect contentment. Roxas couldn't help ducking his head and smiling into the mess on his own plate. "Thanks, guys."

Hayner grunted as he shoved a forkful of cupcake into his mouth. "You're the idiot who said he didn't want a party," he grumbled, grinning. "We weren't gonna ignore your birthday just because _you_ decided eighteen was no big deal."

"How's it feel?" Pence asked, chasing crumbs across his plate. Roxas shrugged.

"I dunno. Same as yesterday." Hayner rolled his eyes.

"You have _no_ concept of how to celebrate this milestone properly," he complained, pitching a piece of cupcake at Roxas's head. "You're not even having a _party_." Roxas rolled his eyes as he pitched a handful of crumbs back at Hayner.

"What do you care if I have a party?" he muttered, licking icing off of his fingers.

"You just _do_," Hayner insisted, grinning as he brushed the crumbs from his lips. Namine smiled and smeared the leftover icing across her plate.

"It's _Roxas's _birthday, Hayner. He can celebrate it how he wants."

The bell rang before Hayner could respond, but Roxas heard him muttering under his breath as he gathered his tray; he thought he heard something along the lines of "hopeless idiot," but he wasn't sure. Olette wrapped him in a quick hug before she ran for the door, pulling a smiling Pence behind her. Hayner clapped Roxas on the shoulder as they left the lunchroom, rolling his eyes at Roxas's expression. "Happy birthday, idiot."

* * *

Roxas grinned down at Namine when she threaded her fingers with his as they left the school behind. "Do you really like that key chain?" she asked, a small smile on her lips. Roxas nodded, shifting his backpack up on his shoulder. 

"Yeah, I do," he sighed, squeezing her fingers. "Where'd you guys find it?" Namine shrugged.

"There's a specialty shop in Radiant Garden – we took the train out one day. I'm glad," she murmured, reaching up and pecking his cheek. She ducked her head when he glanced down at her, surprised. "You're hard to shop for sometimes," she sniffed, glancing away from him. "And we wanted to get you _something_…"

"I like it, Namine, okay?" Roxas chuckled, wrapping her in a one-armed hug. "Stop worrying about it." Namine smiled as she buried her face in his shoulder briefly.

"What are you and Cloud doing for your birthday?" Roxas shrugged.

"We had dinner last night," he muttered, pushing his hair out of his face. "He has to work late tonight – some kind of meeting." Namine nodded, ducking her head and peering at him from the corner of her eye.

"Are you and Axel doing anything?" she asked, smiling softly. Roxas grinned.

"Yeah. Something."

Too bad he had no idea _what_.

* * *

Axel grinned when he opened the door and found Roxas standing in the hallway. "Whose house are you sleeping over at tonight?" he asked, smirking as he let Roxas in. Roxas scowled at him before he flicked his eyes to the side. 

"Hayner's," he grumbled, rubbing sheepishly at the back of his neck. Axel rolled his eyes.

"Why you keep lying to him I'll never know," he chuckled, draping an arm over Roxas's shoulders and dragging him further into the apartment. Demyx and Zexion were sprawled across the couch, watching something on the television. Demyx turned the set off as Axel and Roxas came in.

"Happy birthday!" he cried, pushing himself up and clapping his hands against Roxas's shoulders. Roxas couldn't help grinning at his expression. Smiling, Demyx wrapped a hand around Roxas's wrist, dragging the younger blond behind him as he made a beeline for the kitchen. "Since we kinda messed up your birthday dinner, we made you another one!" Roxas raised an eyebrow.

"We?" he asked, shooting a glance over his shoulder at Axel. Demyx laughed and tugged Roxas into the kitchen.

"_Not_ Axel," he chuckled. "He wasn't allowed anywhere near the kitchen. Zexion helped me." Roxas's eyes widened at the amount of food spread across the counter. "D'you like it?" Demyx asked, gnawing at his lower lip.

Roxas could only stare. "You…_made_ all this?" he asked, gawking. There were a couple of thick steaks dominating the counter, flanked by what looked like homemade mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, fresh green beans – and a huge cake, slathered with butter cream icing. There was still steam rising from each plate. Roxas turned and blinked up at Demyx, throat working furiously as he strained to form words. Zexion came to stand behind the guitarist, a ghost of smile slipping across his features.

"It was a thank you and an apology," he murmured, letting his bangs fall over his face. "I understand you and Axel had plans."

"Told you this guy could cook," Axel grinned, looping his arms around Roxas's shoulders from behind and resting his chin on the blond's head. Roxas stared at Demyx and Zexion, the guitarist still biting nervously at his lip as Zexion moved to stand beside him, brushing his fingers lightly over Demyx's arm. A slow smile worked its way across Roxas's face.

"You like it?" Demyx asked again, grinning in spite of himself. Roxas's smile widened as Axel's arms tightened around him.

"Yeah," he muttered, "yeah, I do."

Demyx's eyes lit up as Zexion smiled quietly, and he sprang forward with a laugh. "Well, let's eat, then!"

They settled around the kitchen table, Demyx heaping food on everyone's plate until they had to protest, landing a quick kiss against Zexion's cheek as he moved around the small kitchen; Roxas couldn't help grinning at the faint flush he saw tinge the normally stoic man's cheeks. Zexion frowned when he noticed Roxas watching him, glancing off to the corner of the room and letting his hair shield him from Roxas's gaze. Axel didn't wait for the rest of them – he immediately began digging into his plate, looking up with a sheepish smile when Demyx smacked him across the back of the head.

Finally, when everyone insisted they couldn't eat anymore, Demyx threw them out of the kitchen. Groaning, Roxas collapsed on the couch, letting his eyes fall closed as he rested his hands on his stomach. He could hear the sounds of Demyx and Axel cleaning up, and the thought of offering to help crossed his mind and was summarily dismissed as he hid a contented burp behind his hand.

Zexion took the chair adjacent to the couch, flicking his hair out of his face as he stared serenely into space. He turned his head when Roxas spoke.

"Thanks," Roxas mumbled, pulling his hair back from his forehead. "You didn't have to do that." Zexion shrugged, his eyes drifting toward the kitchen.

"Demyx felt guilty for disrupting your plans with Axel," he said quietly. Roxas grinned as he settled back against the couch.

"Yeah, but you didn't have to help," he pointed out. The edges of Zexion's lips quirked.

"I'll keep that in mind," he said dryly, reaching for the remote. Roxas let his eyes slide closed as the television flickered to life, letting the sounds lull him into a half-doze.

The next thing he was aware of was Demyx shaking him awake, pressing a finger to his lips and grinning as Roxas blinked at him groggily. "Axel's having a cigarette," he whispered, pressing a card into Roxas's hands. "Tell him I said bye, okay?" Before Roxas could form a coherent reply, Demyx grabbed Zexion – who was already in his coat – and headed for the door, turning back and grinning at Roxas before he pulled the door closed.

Shaking his head in an effort to clear it, Roxas slipped a finger underneath the envelope's seal. A bright card slid out, jovially declaring _Happy Birthday_ from where it rested on his lap. Smiling a little, Roxas picked it up and opened it. There was no message on the inside, save for Demyx's messy scrawl and what he assumed to be Zexion's neat, precise lettering.

_Happy birthday, Roxas! This is the second part of your present, from both of us._

Roxas's heart sank a little at the smiley face inked next to Demyx's uneven handwriting.

_We figured you and Axel could use a little time to yourselves, especially since we hijacked your birthday dinner – tell him I'll be at Zexion's, would you?_

Whatever he'd written after that had been inked out until it was illegible. Roxas groaned and rubbed at his temple, grinning in spite of himself when he read Zexion's dry add-on.

_We don't expect to hear any more about this. Happy birthday._

Sighing, Roxas slipped the card back into the envelope and set it on the coffee table as he shook his head. He looked up when he heard the sliding door open, and Axel ambled into the room, pulling a hand through his hair. He paused when he saw Roxas was the only one in the room.

"Where'd Dem go?"

Roxas shrugged, glancing briefly at the coffee table. "He's spending the night at Zexion's," he muttered, rolling his eyes at Axel's expression.

"Subtle as a train wreck," Axel chuckled, coming to sit next to Roxas. "So, birthday boy, what now?" Roxas quirked an eyebrow at him, smirking.

"Movie."

Axel blinked at him, a crooked smile spreading over his face as he pushed himself up and studied his small collection. "What do you wanna watch?" Roxas shrugged.

"You choose." Axel threw a quick glance over his shoulder at him, eyes glinting as he smirked. Ignoring Roxas's small frown, he slipped a disc from its case and set it in the player, snagging the remote from the top of the television as it loaded.

Roxas shifted as Axel sank down beside him, the redhead draping an arm over his shoulders as he set the movie to play. Roxas's eyes knitted in confusion before he glanced up at Axel, mildly annoyed when he found the redhead was grinning widely.

"_Proper Care and Maintenance of Trees_?" he asked in disbelief. "Where the hell did you even _get_ this?" Axel shrugged, flicking the DVD player off.

"Gag gift," he muttered, smirking at Roxas's expression. "That's what you get for wanting to watch a movie when we've got the apartment to ourselves." Roxas quirked an eyebrow as he grinned.

"_Really_?"

"Really," Axel replied solemnly, face splitting into a wide grin when Roxas sat up and moved to straddle his lap.

"So you're telling me," Roxas said thoughtfully, grinning in spite of himself at Axel's expression, "that you can top an educational video on pruning shrubbery?" Axel shrugged, snaking an arm around Roxas's waist.

"Well, I don't know if I can compete with their _thrilling_ lecture on soil types," he mused, grinning when Roxas rested his forehead against his. Roxas rolled his eyes as Axel's fingers began working at his jeans. "But it _is_ your eighteenth birthday, and I think we should celebrate the fact that you are officially no longer jailbait."

Roxas grinned, batting Axel's hand away as he bent and captured the redhead's lips in an insistent kiss, wrapping his arms around his neck and digging his fingers into his hair. Axel grunted and tightened his hold around Roxas's waist, one hand slipping beneath his shirt and pressing firmly against the skin of his back. Roxas felt Axel's breath catch as he pressed forward, running his tongue hungrily against the seam of the redhead's lips until Axel opened his mouth to him. Roxas swept his tongue inside, groaning when Axel readily met it with his own, pulling Roxas's hips forward mindlessly as he surged up into the kiss.

Roxas untangled his hands from Axel's hair, grabbing the redhead's hips and holding him down as he rocked against him, taking his lower lip between his teeth and biting down gently. Axel groaned and sank down in the seat, hands working insistently at the button to Roxas's jeans.

"Axel –"

Roxas's voice disintegrated into a low hiss as Axel unzipped his jeans and wrapped his fingers around the blond's erection, pumping his hand in time to their rocking hips. Swallowing a groan, Roxas grabbed Axel's wrist and stilled his hand, resting his head against the redhead's shoulder as he panted for breath. "St-stop."

"What's wrong?" Axel asked thickly, staring up at Roxas with clouded eyes. Roxas shook his head, taking a deep breath before he lifted his eyes to meet Axel's.

"I – I want…" He trailed off, coloring slightly at Axel's blank stare. He swallowed hard, trying to force the lump out of his throat. "I want _you_," he managed. "I mean, I want –" He broke off when Axel's eyes widened in comprehension.

Roxas forced himself not to turn his head away, matching Axel's considering gaze with his own. He pressed his lips together to keep from saying anything more, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to Axel's lips, shuddering when Axel's fingers ghosted over his cock at the movement.

Axel remained still underneath him for a moment, and Roxas's heart dropped into his stomach. He pulled back, staring at Axel's chest. He jumped when Axel ran a hand under his chin, tilting his head up. The redhead's eyes were clear.

"Yeah?" he murmured, tilting his head to the side as he studied Roxas. Roxas felt a tentative smile spreading across his face as Axel grinned crookedly.

"Yeah," he breathed, swallowing thickly. Axel's grin widened before he pulled Roxas down for a kiss.

"Okay, then."

Roxas kissed him fiercely, dragging his hands through red spikes as he tilted Axel's head back, only pulling back when his chest began to ache with a need for air. Pressing one last bruising kiss against his lips, Roxas slid out of Axel's lap, dropping to his knees and spreading the redhead's legs as he reached for the zipper to his pants. Axel lifted his hips as Roxas dragged his jeans and boxers down, stripping them off and shoving them to the side. Axel choked on a helpless moan as Roxas wrapped his lips around his cock, one hand tangling painfully in Roxas's hair.

Roxas gripped Axel's hips tightly, blunt nails digging into the redhead's skin as he brought him closer to the edge. Axel let his head fall back, chest heaving as his fingers curled tighter around the strands of hair caught between them. "Roxas…"

Roxas glanced up at the warning in Axel's voice, wiping idly at his mouth as he pushed himself up, pulling Axel's shirt off and grazing his teeth along his collarbone. Axel managed a shaky laugh as he pushed Roxas back. "Not on the couch," he gasped, the ghost of a smirk on his lips. "Dem would kill us."

Roxas grinned and allowed Axel to pull his shirt off, the redhead giving an impatient tug when it caught on Roxas's head. Laughing breathlessly, Roxas dragged Axel off the couch and they stumbled into the redhead's bedroom, Roxas shoving Axel down as he slipped out of his pants and boxers. Crawling up the bed, Roxas paused between Axel's legs, bending and kissing him lightly.

"You sure?"

Axel grinned and fished a bottle of lube from the drawer of his nightstand. He pressed it into Roxas's hand, and Roxas dropped another impulsive kiss against Axel's mouth. Axel huffed against his lips and reached down to stroke Roxas's erection. "Could we get on with it, Rox?" he muttered, grinning when Roxas groaned. Biting at his lip in retaliation, Roxas pulled back and crouched between Axel's spread legs.

He smeared the lotion across his fingers before glancing up at Axel – the redhead rolled his eyes and made an impatient motion with his hand. Biting his lip, Roxas pressed one finger into Axel, catching the way the redhead's breathing changed as he shifted slightly to accommodate it. Roxas pressed forward carefully, head spinning at how tight Axel felt around him. Carefully, watching Axel's expression closely, he slid a second finger in, working Axel open as gently as he could.

"Okay, Rox, it's fine," Axel breathed, and Roxas heard the same edge of impatience in his voice. Roxas withdrew his fingers and smeared the leftover lotion over his erection, pulling Axel's hips up slightly before he pressed forward, sliding into him.

He froze once he was inside him.

Axel was unbelievably tight around him, and two warring impulses raced through Roxas's brain – the animalistic urge to pound thoughtlessly into the willing body beneath him and the concern that if he moved, he was going to hurt Axel. Unable to silence either thought, he remained immobilized by indecision and concern.

Unaware of his inner conflict, Axel took a deep breath and blew it out, glancing down at him. "Okay." Roxas glanced up at the redhead, expression wild, and Axel frowned slightly. "Roxas?"

Roxas flushed at the concern he saw in Axel's eyes; cutting his eyes to the side, he ducked his head. "I don't want to hurt you," he muttered. Axel blinked at him, and Roxas's flush deepened.

"Roxas."

A tentative grin worked its way across Roxas's lips at the amused exasperation in Axel's voice. Reaching up, Axel snared the back of Roxas's neck and dragged him down for a kiss, ignoring the moan that tore itself out of Roxas's mouth at the movement. Axel bit impatiently at Roxas's lower lip before he grinned up at him. "Shut up and fuck me."

Roxas managed a strangled laugh that disintegrated into a groan as Axel rocked his hips forward impatiently. Taking a second to steady himself, Roxas tried to go slowly, gently, but Axel made a wordless sound of impatience and wrapped his legs around Roxas's waist, pulling him further forward with each thrust until Roxas ceased worrying about hurting the redhead and matched Axel's rough pace.

Barely conscious of the groans and broken cries spilling from his own throat, Roxas pulled Axel's hips up, staring at the redhead spread out beneath him. Nothing existed except Axel, writhing and cursing beneath him, fingers tangling in the bed sheets as he spit out obscenities and cried Roxas's name. Ducking his head, Roxas slammed into Axel, and Axel's back arched right off the bed as stars exploded across Roxas's vision.

Roxas collapsed on top of Axel, heart thundering in his chest. He felt Axel's heart drumming its own erratic time, and Roxas couldn't help smiling at the uneven rhythms. Tilting his head, he planted a light kiss against Axel's chest. "You okay?"

He felt Axel chuckle before the redhead's fingers threaded their way through his hair, gently tugging his head up. Roxas sighed as Axel kissed him gently, wrapping his arms around Roxas as he rolled onto his side. Smiling, Roxas burrowed against Axel's warm skin. "Yeah," Axel grinned, wiping Roxas's damp bangs out of his face. "Not bad, kid." Roxas huffed against Axel's skin, and Axel laughed again before tightening his arms around Roxas's shoulders. "Yeah, we're okay."

Roxas hid his grin against Axel's shoulder.

* * *

_Roxas stared out over the roofs of Twilight Town, working industrially at his bar of sea-salt ice cream. The figure in his peripheral vision shifted, holding his own bar of ice cream away from his dark jacket as it began to melt._

"_How are you feeling?" Axel asked. Roxas shrugged, keeping his eyes glued to the horizon, catching a large glob of ice cream with his tongue as it slid down the stick. The ice cream was good – at least he thought it was. He didn't know if he liked ice cream._

"_Roxas?"_

"_I don't know." He felt…nothing. Empty. Which was strange, because it felt like there should be something to feel. "Strange," he finally amended, staring at his ice cream pensively._

_Axel grunted, frowning slightly when his ice cream began to drip. Roxas glanced down to the base of the clock tower, but there was no one on the steps._

_Sucking the last of the ice cream off the stick, Roxas swept his eyes across the town, not sure what he was searching for. "Xemnas called me a Nobody," he muttered, frowning._

_Axel nodded. "Yeah."_

"_What's a Nobody?"_

_Axel shrugged as he flung his melted ice cream out over the station steps. "Nothing."_

* * *

Roxas woke with a violent start, panicking slightly when he couldn't sit up. Glancing around wildly, he relaxed when his gaze fell on Axel sleeping beside him, one arm thrown over Roxas's chest and his face half-buried in the pillow. Swallowing hard, Roxas rolled to face him, reaching out a hand and tracing the tattoo beneath Axel's eye. 

Axel sighed and murmured something in his sleep, pulling himself a little closer to Roxas before he sighed again and lapsed back into silence. Roxas rested his hand against Axel's cheek for another moment, staring at him silently as he waited for his heartbeat to slow.

Finally, he pulled himself closer to Axel, the redhead curling his arm tighter around him in his sleep. Curling into himself, Roxas buried his face against Axel's shoulder as he closed his eyes, fingernails biting into his palms.


	17. Sick Cycle Carousel

(A/N): Well. I've got to say the responses I've received in reaction to this little fic continue to amaze me. Huge thanks to everyone who's reviewed - you guys continue to blow me away. **A note on reviewing**: Guys, FFnet now sends authors alerts about faves and/or alerts. Please, if you fave or alert a work, leave a review. It really does make someone's day. Lyrics used in this chapter are taken from _Rainbow in the Dark_. The chapter title's taken from the song that got me through my block and writing again. I sincerely hope it was worth the wait, guys.

Disclaimer: Insert witty disclaimer here.

Sick Cycle Carousel

Roxas rolled over and groaned, burying his face in the pillow to shut out the light. He fumbled blindly for Axel, turning his head and cracking an eye open when his hand met only air. Axel's side of the bed was empty, and Roxas grumbled in complaint at the note pinned to the redhead's pillow.

Pulling himself up reluctantly, he wiped the sleep from his eyes as he tried to focus on the small piece of paper.

_Rox –_

_Got called into work and didn't want to wake you up. Check under the pillow._

_Happy birthday._

Smiling a little in spite of himself, Roxas slipped a hand under Axel's pillow, fingers brushing against the corner of a small box. He dragged it out and flipped it open, smile freezing before it cracked and fell away as he stared at the small pendent.

He ran a finger slowly along the edge of one of the four points, pressing down hard enough on the tip to draw blood. He stared at the red bead on his finger silently before his gaze locked on the pendent one more time.

His heart was suddenly thundering in his ears.

* * *

Roxas stared blankly at his calculus test, not really seeing the problems spread out over the page. He blinked and roused himself when Hayner tossed a crumpled piece of paper at his temple when the teacher's back was turned. He frowned as he glanced at his friend, but Hayner only rolled his eyes and pointed to the clock. Roxas's mouth dropped open as he realized he'd been lost in thought for almost twenty minutes. 

Turning hurriedly back to his test, he wrenched his mind away from his dreams and concentrated grimly on remaining in the present. He handed his test in with seconds to spare, grabbing up his books and heading for the door. Hayner clapped a hand against his shoulder as they stepped into the hall, expression troubled.

"What's going on, Roxas?" he asked quietly. He rolled his eyes when Roxas scowled at him, pulling a hand through his hair. "You've been distracted for _weeks_, now," he muttered, shifting his own books against his side. Roxas flinched guiltily and let his gaze slide away from Hayner, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth.

"It's…complicated," he said slowly.

It had been almost three weeks since his birthday, and the dreams, which had receded somewhat, had begun plaguing him on a nightly basis again. He'd tried to bring the subject up with Axel again, but the redhead had only shrugged and dismissed the questions with a wave of his hand. "Haven't really had one for a while now," he'd grinned, throwing an arm over Roxas's shoulders; but Roxas hadn't missed the underlying tension in his expression. He'd let it go, stuffing his hands into his pockets with a small frown.

Hayner blew out an exasperated breath before he shrugged, a small grin flashing across his face. "Fine," he grumbled, moving further down the hall. Roxas watched him go silently, jumping a little when someone laid a hand against his arm. He glanced down and met Namine's worried eyes.

"Are you all right?"

Roxas shrugged, tangling his fingers with hers as they moved down the hall together. "I don't know," he sighed, squeezing her fingers when she glanced up at him. "Yeah. I just…" He trailed off, letting go of her hand to get a better grip on his books. Namine studied him silently for a moment before she turned her eyes forward again.

"Can you come over after school?"

Roxas glanced down at her, surprised, but Namine's gaze was fixed ahead of her, arms pressing her books to her chest. When he remained silent, Namine's eyes flashed to his, and he blinked at the shadow in her eyes. Shifting uncomfortably, he nodded. "Sure."

* * *

Roxas dropped his backpack to the floor and regarded Namine quizzically. The petite blonde had practically dragged him from school, her hand locked almost desperately around his as she dragged him along the crowded sidewalks. She'd pulled him into her room without a word, depositing her backpack next to her desk before she'd paused, suddenly seeming unsure as she nibbled nervously at her bottom lip. 

"Namine?"

She started a little at his voice, taking a hesitant step forward before she dropped her gaze to the floor. "I'm sorry," she murmured. Roxas blinked at her, frowning in confusion. Namine sighed and came to stand in front of him, smiling a little as she took his face in her hands. "It's the dreams, isn't it?" she asked quietly, her eyes sliding closed at something she saw in his expression. "I'm sorry."

Roxas reached up and removed her hands from his face, waiting until she opened her eyes again to speak. "What are you talking about?" Namine glanced to the side.

"I told you to ignore them," she sighed. "But it's not making you any happier, is it? You've barely said a word to _anyone_ since your birthday. " Roxas's throat closed as he stared at her. When he didn't answer, her eyes slid closed again. Taking one of his hands in hers, she led him to the bed, tucking her legs underneath her as he settled beside her. She rested her head on his shoulder, eyes trained on the floor.

"Roxas, when you tried to ask me about them before – you asked if I'd _remembered_ you and Axel." Roxas nodded dumbly, tightening his fingers around hers. There was a moment of silence before Namine took a deep breath. "Why'd you say that?" she asked softly. "Why'd you ask like that?"

"I don't know."

Roxas swallowed thickly as Namine shifted against him, leaning heavily against his side. "Are we crazy?" she asked, and Roxas couldn't help smiling at her serious tone. He sighed and bumped her shoulder with his.

"All of us? I don't think so," he muttered. Namine played with his fingers nervously, biting at her lip.

"I don't know what to tell you, Roxas," she murmured, pressing her face into his shoulder. "I'm just scared for you. If it is…real somehow, if that's possible…" She trailed off, taking a deep breath. "It fell apart, didn't it?" she whispered.

Roxas didn't answer, hearing the echoes of his own screams ringing in his ears as he watched Axel fade for the last time from a place where he could do nothing, _nothing_ to help him –

"I don't want it to again," Namine breathed, and there was so much pain in her voice that Roxas wrapped an arm around her shoulders, hugging her awkwardly. She trembled a little as her fingers twisted in his shirt, and Roxas rested his nose against her hair. "You deserve to be happy," she whispered. "You and Axel both."

Roxas let his eyes fall closed as Namine wrestled herself back under control. Her eyes were wet when she sat back, but she laughed a little. "Sorry." Roxas laughed and brushed a thumb over cheek.

"It's not your fault, Namine," he muttered, catching and holding her eyes with his. "It never was." Namine's smile was small and tremulous, but it was there as she ducked her head before sliding off of the bed. Wiping at her eyes, she moved toward her easel, throwing a tiny grin over her shoulder as Roxas groaned.

"You're already here," she pointed out, laughing softly as she wiped the last of her tears away. "Just for twenty minutes, I promise." Roxas's expression gentled as she clasped her hands in front of her chest beseechingly, lips curved in a smile.

"Yeah, fine."

They didn't mention the dreams again, and Roxas watched as the tension gradually left Namine's shoulders, grinning when she slipped off of her stool and led him to the kitchen. Namine filled the air with idle chatter as she flitted around the small room, settling across from him with two sandwiches.

She hesitated at the door as he was leaving, sighing before she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I don't know what to tell you," she murmured, pulling back and pecking his cheek. "Just –"

"I know," Roxas interrupted, wrapping her in another hug. Namine clutched at his shoulders as she buried her face in his neck, but she was smiling when she stepped back.

"You'll be fine," she whispered fiercely, cradling his face in her hands. Roxas smiled and nodded, and Namine's brow smoothed before she laughed and pushed him gently out the door.

* * *

Roxas smoothed his fingers over his key chains as he climbed the stairs to Axel's apartment. He wasn't sure whether Axel was home or not, but if he wasn't, Roxas planned to sit and wait for him. He'd avoided talking about the dreams with the redhead for almost a month now, but after his talk with Namine, the pressure of questions unasked was like a dam waiting to burst inside him. _"If it is…real somehow, if that's possible…"_

Roxas wiped a hand over his face as he hesitated outside of Axel's door. He almost preferred the thought that they were all crazy. With a wry chuckle, he rapped his knuckles against the door, letting himself in with his key when there was no answer.

The living room was empty, but he could hear the sound of the shower running. Draping his coat over the back of the armchair, Roxas moved further into the apartment. He cocked his head to the side, trying to decide if the thin trickle of music wavering on the edge of hearing was real or a figment of his imagination. Tossing his gloves onto the couch, he strode back into the hall. Glancing distractedly at the bathroom door, Roxas opened the door to Axel's room. Whatever song had been playing was fading out, and Roxas moved to turn the stereo off, rolling his eyes.

He paused when his eyes fell on the papers scattered across the redhead's bed. Frowning, he moved forward, squinting as he tried to decipher Axel's handwriting. His heart froze and then began beating furiously in his chest as another song started up behind him. Reaching out a trembling hand, he brushed his fingers over the page nearest to him.

His eyes wouldn't focus properly, but certain words leapt out at him. _Kingdom Hearts_. _Roxas_. _**Nobody**_. That word was repeated again and again, deeply gouged into the paper. Roxas's hand fell slackly to his side. The music was suddenly over-loud in his ears.

_Do your demons – do they ever let you go? When you've tried, do they hide, deep inside – is it someone that you know_?

Roxas threw a glance over his shoulder at the stereo, hands tightening into fists.

_You're just a picture – you're an image caught in time. We're a lie, you and I, we're words without a rhyme._

With a soundless snarl, Roxas stalked over and smacked his hand against the power button with a little too much force. He stared at the wall, shoulders held painfully straight as he struggled to hold on to his temper.

Axel had lied to him.

* * *

_Roxas watched the last wisps of darkness fade as the final Neoshadow fell to the Keyblades clutched in his hands. The rain drummed against his black hood, and Roxas sighed and glared darkly at Memory's Skyscraper. He didn't turn when he heard someone step out of the darkness behind him._

"_Shit, Rox. Not again."_

_Roxas ducked his head before he glanced over his shoulder. Axel was sheltered from the rain by the awning of a run-down building, hood thrown back and eyes dark. His eyes narrowed at the way Roxas lifted his chin in silent challenge before he took a deliberate step forward, hair quickly clinging to his cheeks and neck as the rain pelted against him._

_Roxas turned back toward him, letting the Keyblades fade as he strode forward. He didn't know why he continued to push him, to test him, he reflected as he grabbed the collar of Axel's coat and yanked him down. Axel's eyes glinted as their lips met, pushing Roxas's hood back and wrapping a hand around the back of the blond's neck._

_Maybe because Axel didn't trust this any more than he did. Roxas grinned into the kiss, shoving Axel backwards until the older Nobody's back was against the wall. He didn't miss the way the redhead's eyes flashed before he relaxed. They didn't trust it – but they could pretend it meant something for now._

* * *

Roxas started violently as he heard Axel's voice out in the hall. 

"Shit, Dem, if you wanted the music off you could've just asked…"

The redhead's voice trailed off abruptly, and Roxas glanced over his shoulder to find Axel frozen in the doorway, eyes wide. The way his eyes flashed immediately to the papers spread across the bed only confirmed Roxas's fears.

"You fucking bastard," he hissed, turning to face Axel fully. "You said you didn't dream any more." Axel's eyes flicked back to his face, narrowing as the redhead crossed his arms over his chest.

"I don't."

"Then what's this?" Roxas demanded, sweeping his arm out to encompass the mess on Axel's bed. Axel's eyes narrowed further before he shrugged, lip curling as he glanced away.

"I was cleaning up," he muttered. "I was throwing it all out."

"You lied to me," Roxas growled, nails digging into his palms as he tried to keep from lashing out and striking something.

* * *

_Roxas stared up at Kingdom Hearts, lips drawn down in a thoughtful frown. The hearts streaming through the dark sky to join it made his chest ache in a way he didn't quite understand. Shrugging the strange sensation aside, Roxas turned away and re-entered the castle, eyes sliding along the blank walls without really seeing them._

"_Hey, kid."_

_Roxas turned and glared at Xigbar, the Freeshooter's scar rippling as he smiled at the blond's expression. "Axel was looking for you." Roxas nodded curtly before he turned away from the Nobody, trying to keep his steps even. That Xigbar would bother to give him such a trivial message just heightened his sense of uneasiness – none of the other neophytes were afforded such courtesies._

_Steps quickening once he was out of Xigbar's sight, Roxas sped toward Axel's room, pulling himself up short as he realized what he was doing. Frown deepening, Roxas took slow, deliberate steps until he stood outside Axel's door. He stared at it for a moment before he raised a hesitant hand and knocked._

_Axel pulled the door open, arching an eyebrow at the expression on the blond's face. "What's wrong with you?" Roxas felt his shoulders relaxing and wondered when simply being around Axel had become so important to his equilibrium._

* * *

Axel's expression went blank, but Roxas could see a muscle in his jaw jumping violently. "I never lied to you," he bit out, eyes glittering savagely. 

"You never told me!" Roxas burst out, tearing his hands through his hair, and he didn't even know what he was shouting about any more.

"Because I knew you'd flip out like this," Axel shot back, slamming the side of his fist into the doorframe. "It doesn't _mean_ anything, Roxas."

"Then why'd you lie?" Roxas demanded, features twisting as he glared at him.

"I didn't lie," Axel insisted, taking a step into the room.

"You didn't tell me – it's the same damn thing."

"It doesn't _matter_ –"

"Then why didn't you _say_ anything?" Roxas shouted, beating his fist against his thigh.

"Because I didn't want you to leave again!" Axel burst out in frustration.

* * *

_When Axel stormed into his room and grabbed him roughly around the shoulders, Roxas didn't have to ask what the redhead was doing. Roxas hadn't given any indication that he was thinking of leaving soon, but somehow Axel knew._

_Axel slammed him into the wall without a word, eyes glittering savagely as he tore Roxas's jacket open and shoved a hand into his pants. Roxas groaned as Axel wrapped his fingers around him and began to pump his hand agonizingly slowly, lowering his head to bite punishingly at Roxas's neck. He kept the Key of Destiny pinned until the blond was arching up against him, digging blunt nails into Axel's shoulders; then he abruptly pulled away._

_Roxas groaned in protest, but Axel ignored him, slamming him back into the wall when Roxas tried to grab him. Axel grabbed Roxas's wrists and pinned them above his head, his fingers digging cruelly into Roxas's flesh. Ignoring Roxas's hiss of pain, he caught his lips in a desperately possessive kiss, hungrily exploring the blond's mouth with his tongue. When Roxas bit at him impatiently, Axel pulled him away from the wall and dragged him over to the bed._

_Axel didn't say a word as he threw Roxas down and dragged the blond's pants off, ripping his own pants open as he crawled between Roxas's legs. Roxas groaned as Axel shoved inside him, gritting his teeth and turning his head to the side when Axel began to pound into him violently. Axel tangled a hand in Roxas's hair, tightening his grip and jerking Roxas's head around until Roxas was looking up at him._

_Roxas flinched at the parody of emotion twisting Axel's features. He reached up and dragged Axel down for a desperate kiss to avoid the unspoken accusation in the redhead's eyes. Axel tore his head out of Roxas's grip, and Roxas closed his eyes, clinging to Axel's shoulders, wishing he didn't understand Axel well enough to know what this was._

_Axel wouldn't tell him not to go. And Roxas wouldn't stay._

_When it was over, Axel rested his head against Roxas's shoulder for a moment, panting heavily as he held himself up on trembling arms. He pulled away when Roxas reached for him, and Roxas thought that if he had a heart, it would've broken at the emptiness in Axel's eyes. Axel turned and walked out of the room, tucking himself back into his pants and straightening his jacket. He didn't look back._

_It wasn't until the next morning that Roxas noticed the burns that circled his wrists like brands._

* * *

Roxas stared at Axel, trembling, as the redhead closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. 

"Fuck," he muttered tiredly. "That's not what I meant." Roxas straightened slowly, unable to tear his gaze from Axel's face.

_"Are we crazy?"_

"We're both fucking insane," Roxas breathed, ducking his head when Axel glanced up at him.

"What?"

"You're an idiot," Roxas muttered, chuckling a little as he rubbed a hand against his temple. He glanced up as Axel narrowed his eyes at him – shaking his head, he took a step forward, hand reaching out before it fell back to his side. "You're such an idiot."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Axel demanded, lips skinning back from his teeth.

"I wouldn't just _leave_," Roxas ground out, voice rising as he advanced on the redhead. "What the hell makes you think I'd do that over – over _this_?" Axel didn't answer, features carefully empty as he watched Roxas stalk toward him. "Are you really that _stupid_?"

"What's your point, Roxas?" he asked sardonically, and Roxas ground his teeth together before he drew his fist back and punched him across the face.

"My _point_," he shouted, grabbing Axel's shirt collar and dragging the redhead back around to face him, "my _point_, you Goddamn moron, is that I _care_ about you! I can't –"

He broke off as he realized what he was saying, eyes widening as the import of what he'd just said sank in. He _did_ care about Axel, of course he did, but – but he couldn't imagine his life without Axel in it somehow.

When had that happened?

He trembled slightly as he stared at Axel's face, watching something in the depths of his eyes crack before Axel raised a hesitant hand to his face. A tentative grin worked its way across his face at Axel's dazed expression; then abruptly he realized the redhead was trembling worse than he was.

"Axel?"

Axel didn't answer, hand still shaking against Roxas's cheek, and Roxas's brows lowered before he led the redhead over to the bed. Axel sank down on the mattress, heedless of the papers that fell to the floor around him. Roxas bent over him, peering worriedly into his face. "Are you okay?"

Axel reached out and wrapped his arms around Roxas's waist, squeezing his eyes shut as he buried his face in Roxas's chest. Panicking slightly, Roxas smoothed his fingers through the redhead's hair, still damp from the shower, trying to still his violent trembling. "Axel, what…?"

Axel didn't answer, and Roxas sighed before he wrapped his arms awkwardly around his shoulders. Axel heaved a broken sigh before he pulled Roxas forward, and Roxas crawled onto the bed with him, allowing Axel to pull him against his body as they lay down, ducking his head under Axel's chin. He could feel Axel's pulse racing.

"Shit, Axel, how long were you worrying about this?" he asked quietly, smoothing his hands along the redhead's back, finally feeling Axel's tremors receding. Axel's laughter was a little choked, but Roxas smiled as he felt Axel press his lips to the top of the blond's head.

"A while," he admitted dryly, arms tightening around Roxas's shoulders.

"You should've just told me," he muttered. Axel snorted.

"Yeah, well, turnabout's fair play," he sighed, burying his face in Roxas's hair. Roxas didn't know what to say to that; tightening his arms around Axel's waist, he pressed his lips to Axel's pulse, Axel's heart beating next to his as they let the silence deepen around them.


	18. Past and Present

(A/N): I really apologize about the wait, guys. I lost the tone of the fic - that's the only explanation I can offer. _Thank you_ for your patience and support while I tried to get it back. You guys are amazing. Some of you have mentioned that it feels like the story's winding down. It is. There are two more chapters, and then we're done. Thanks for sticking with it.

Disclaimer: Ditto.

Past and Present

Axel traced nonsense patterns along Roxas's back, fingers traveling up and down the length of the blond's spine as he heaved a silent sigh. Roxas remained silent. He'd lost track of how long they'd been laying here, the only sound in the room the crinkling of the papers beneath them any time they adjusted their positions. He let Axel continue his ministrations for another couple of minutes before he gently pushed the redhead away.

"We need to talk."

Axel nodded silently and rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. Roxas hesitated for a moment before he shifted so that he was lying beside him, reaching out and tangling their fingers together almost shyly. Axel smiled at the contact and tightened his fingers around Roxas's. "So where do we start?"

Roxas stared at the ceiling, lips twisting into a frustrated scowl. "I don't know," he mumbled. "It's –"

"Crazy," Axel interrupted. Roxas sighed and nodded.

"Yeah."

They both fell silent again, staring at the ceiling. Finally, Axel spoke. "You think if we stare at it long enough it'll tell us the answer?" Roxas choked before bursting into helpless laughter, rolling towards the redhead and thumping him on the chest. Axel grinned and gathered him into his arms again, waiting for his laughter to die away. Gradually, Roxas fell silent, throwing an arm over Axel's waist and burying his face in the redhead's chest.

"I was serious," he grumbled.

Axel grinned, trailing his fingers along Roxas's spine again. "I know." Roxas huffed and pulled himself a little closer to the redhead. Axel hummed softly as he pulled his fingers through Roxas's hair, and Roxas let his eyes fall closed, lulled by the rhythm of Axel's breathing and the warmth emanating from his skin. He was on the verge of sleep when the redhead spoke again.

"I was always looking for something."

Roxas blinked, trying to stir his brain out of its torpor. "What?" Axel tightened his arms around Roxas's shoulders and buried his face in the blond's hair.

"When I was younger," he mumbled. "I could never remember anything about the dreams except that I was always looking for something. I didn't know what – I could never remember – but…" He paused, drawing a ragged breath before pressing his lips to Roxas's forehead. "It always made me feel empty. Hollow. I hated it." He laughed a little and gave Roxas a brief squeeze. "God, I fucking hated it."

He fell silent, one hand rising to cradle Roxas's head. Tightening his arm around the redhead's waist, Roxas pressed a kiss against the hollow of his throat and waited for him to continue. Axel grinned, the expression strained. "You remember the day you crashed into me?" Roxas nodded mutely. "That night – I thought it was a fluke, you know? Because our minds are supposed to remember all this shit we don't even notice and spit it back out at us, and you'd seemed really familiar…" He trailed off, trailing his fingers absently along Roxas's spine. "Yeah, well, they didn't stop," he muttered. "I thought I was going crazy."

"You never said anything," Roxas mumbled, fingers knotting in Axel's shirt. Axel sighed, tugging him forward far enough to pull one of the papers from beneath him.

"What was I supposed to say, Rox?" he asked, shoving it under Roxas's nose. "I did everything I could to pretend it wasn't happening, but it was making me insane remembering what – I mean, what _couldn't_ be fucking real."

Roxas took the paper from him gingerly, handling it with the tips of his fingers. A quick glance showed the page was filled with Axel's uneven scrawl, words and phrases connected by other words and phrases, criss-crossing in a dizzying array he supposed only made sense to Axel. "But I _asked_ you about them," he sighed, letting the paper slip to the floor. "Axel, I asked you over and over. Why didn't you say anything then?" Axel blew out a breath and glanced away.

"I told you why," he mumbled. Roxas groaned and rolled onto his back, rubbing at his temples.

"Circles," he muttered. Axel glanced at him, brows drawn in confusion.

"What?"

"We're going in circles," Roxas muttered, wiping a hand over his face with a dry chuckle. "We still don't know anything important." Axel propped himself up on one elbow, regarding Roxas silently. Roxas reached up and smoothed a stray strand of hair back behind Axel's ear. "I watched you die, Axel. I watched you die and I couldn't do anything about it and it just about killed me because I could _feel_ –" He broke off abruptly with a rough bark of laughter. "You're right. We do sound insane."

Axel leaned down and kissed him gently, his thumb smoothing over Roxas's cheek. He drew back with a sigh, pulling Roxas against him. "I'm here now, Roxas." Roxas mumbled under his breath and readjusted his limbs as they tangled with Axel's, burying his face in the redhead's chest.

"If it – could…" He trailed off, fisting his hands in the redhead's shirt and silently thankful that Axel couldn't see his face. "I can't do it again, Axel." Axel didn't answer, only wrapped his arms around the blond and hummed soothing nonsense into his hair until Roxas's eyes slipped closed; with a last half-hearted mumble, Roxas curled against Axel and let his conscious mind succumb to darkness.

* * *

When Roxas woke the room was shadowed with the hazy half-light of late sunset. Axel was still lying beside him, arms wrapped around Roxas's body and pressing the blond against him even in slumber. Roxas closed his eyes and pressed his ear against Axel's chest for a moment, fingers knotting in the redhead's shirt as he listened to the steady beat of Axel's heart. With a silent sigh he slipped out of Axel's arms and perched on the edge of the bed, brushing his hair out of his eyes as he stared down at the sleeping redhead. 

Axel looked paler than usual in the weird half-light, his tattoos standing out like blood on his cheeks, and his skin looked as if it had been stretched too tightly across his cheekbones. Roxas pressed his fingers hesitantly against Axel's face, for a moment convinced the redhead would simply break under his touch. Axel's skin was warm and smooth under his fingers, and the redhead murmured something in his sleep and batted Roxas's hand away. Roxas let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and stood. The papers Axel had gathered together crackled under his shoes as he headed for the door, but Roxas ignored them, easing the door closed behind him and moving toward the living room.

Demyx was sitting cross-legged on the floor, guitar resting in his lap as he strummed a gentle melody, eyes closed and a soft smile on his lips. He'd shoved the coffee table to the side to accommodate the sheets of paper spread in front of him. Roxas felt a faint sort of vertigo at the perfect normalcy of the scene as he moved across the room and grabbed his coat and gloves.

"Hey, Roxas. I didn't know you were over."

Roxas glanced over his shoulder at the musician – Demyx had paused in his playing and was regarding him with a tentative smile. It slipped off his face as he took in Roxas's expression. "You okay?" Roxas managed a wan smile.

"Yeah. Look, tell Axel I had to go, but I'll call him later, okay?" A small line creased Demyx's forehead as he bit at his lip, but he nodded and swept his eyes back to his music.

"You guys okay?" Roxas turned back toward the door, throat suddenly uncomfortably tight.

"I don't know." Without waiting for an answer, he pulled the door closed behind him.

He walked back to his apartment with his eyes fixed firmly on his shoes, not even trying to sort through the tangle of thoughts tumbling through his mind. Some small corner of his brain knew this was exactly what he _shouldn't_ be doing, but Roxas couldn't bring himself to care.

* * *

"Hey Namine?" 

The sound of Namine's brushstrokes ceased before she poked her head around the edge of her easel. For once, she hadn't asked Roxas to pose for her – he was lying across her bed, staring at the ceiling and replaying his conversation with Axel over and over in his mind. Namine had left him to himself for the better part of an hour as she perched on her stool and worked industriously at her canvas. She blinked at him, wiping absently at her cheek with the back of her hand. "What is it, Roxas?" Roxas's eyes swept to another section of spackled ceiling, fingers drumming absently against his stomach.

"I don't think we're crazy." His voice was level, calm. Namine lowered her eyes to her lap, brush twisting in her fingers as she waited for him to continue. "I left him before, and he was afraid I'd do it again. That – that's real, right? That _happened_. I hit him over it – split his lip." He turned his head to face her, and though his voice was calm and disaffected, his face was twisted with some emotion he wasn't sure he wanted to understand. "It's crazy – the whole damn thing, it _is_ – but…but we're not." He laughed weakly and rubbed at his temples. "Does that even make sense?"

Namine hesitated, biting at her lip before she sighed and met his eyes again. "Yes."

"So now what?"

Namine stared back silently, rubbing her free hand against her smock. Roxas turned his gaze back to the ceiling. "Yeah. Exactly."

Namine didn't say anything.

* * *

The next week was a blur to him. Each day bled into the next, and Roxas clung grimly to the routine school afforded him, throwing himself into his schoolwork and barricading himself in his room each night with the excuse that he was doing homework. Cloud watched him with narrowed eyes, but he didn't try to pry, and Roxas appreciated his brother's reticence like never before. 

He didn't talk to Axel.

* * *

Roxas stared at the cell phone resting on his bed. His hands were curled into fists in his lap and the homework he should've been working on had fallen to the floor. He'd swept it aside when he'd pulled the phone from his backpack. 

It was Saturday.

Axel was usually off on Saturdays.

Roxas's fingers twitched, but he didn't reach for the phone. He'd had plenty of time to think.

Axel had been afraid Roxas would leave him again.

Circles.

They were going in circles.

He'd been afraid Roxas would leave – but Roxas hadn't. Was that enough?

With a sigh, Roxas reached for the phone.

* * *

Roxas sat with his eyes closed, rocking with the train as it flew through the tunnels and intensely aware of Axel sitting next to him. He didn't know where they were going – Axel had refused to tell him, claiming it was a surprise. He'd met Roxas at the door, his expression carefully blank. He hadn't tried to put his arms around him. Roxas couldn't decide if he'd been relieved or disappointed. He'd touched Roxas's shoulder briefly as he steered him away from the apartment, snagging his dark jacket on his way out the door, and Roxas had thought he could feel the heat from the redhead's skin even through his thick jacket. 

Axel's expression had remained close and guarded, and he'd descended the stairs to the subway and boarded the train without speaking a word to Roxas. Only after the train was already moving had he turned and looked at Roxas, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "So you think we're stuck, huh?" Roxas had only sunk down in his seat, scowling as he remembered their conversation on the phone. Axel had shaken his head, a crooked smile spreading across his lips. "You're wrong." Roxas had only stared at him until the redhead turned away with a sigh. Neither of them had spoken again.

Roxas's eyes sprang open when Axel tapped his knee. The redhead nodded when Roxas glanced at him.

"This is our stop."

He didn't wait for an answer, his trench coat swirling around his legs as he stood and moved toward the train's doors. Roxas pulled himself to his feet and followed. He squinted against the light when they reached street level again, jogging to bring himself level with Axel. "Where are we going?"

Axel glanced down at him, a small smile curling his lips. "I told you, Rox, it's a surprise." Roxas fell silent, shoving his hands into his pockets with a scowl. Axel's smile grew as he ruffled the blond's hair, laughing at his expression. "I'm immune to your pouting, Roxas." Roxas glared at him as he ran a hand through his hair, but Axel only grinned before turning his face away again.

They walked in silence for several blocks. Roxas let his mind wander, not really taking any notice of their surroundings. He drew himself up short when Axel passed underneath a filigreed steel archway set between the wrought-iron bars of a high fence. Roxas realized they'd been walking alongside it for the entire length of the block. He hesitated under the archway, eyes darting across the smooth expanse of lawn. His mouth was suddenly dry.

"Axel."

The redhead glanced over his shoulder at him, pausing when he saw that Roxas wasn't following him. "C'mon, Roxas." Roxas stared at him, tongue clinging uncomfortably to the roof of his mouth.

"Axel, this is a graveyard." The corner of Axel's lips twisted up in a grin, but there was no hint of humor in his eyes.

"Yeah."

Roxas shifted from one foot to the other, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. Axel stared at him silently, waiting. Roxas swept his gaze across the manicured grass before meeting Axel's eyes again; he took a tentative step forward, then another, his breath escaping in a thin whistle as he moved to where Axel stood. Something in Axel's expression eased as Roxas came to stand in front of him, shoulders held stiff and straight. The redhead wrapped an arm around his shoulders without a word, leading him deeper among the headstones and digging for a cigarette with his free hand.

They paused above one of the smooth, impersonal stones set flush against the ground, and Axel settled the cigarette between his lips as he fished his lighter from his pocket. "Roxas," he mumbled, lighting his cigarette as he nodded at the headstone, "meet my mom."

Roxas stared at the stone blankly, mind shocked to stillness. Axel exhaled a thin plume of smoke and brushed an errant piece of hair out of his face. "She would've liked you," he muttered, giving Roxas's shoulders a brief squeeze. Roxas swallowed in a throat suddenly gone dry and floundered for words.

"A-Axel, you – God, you never said anything," he choked out. Axel shrugged.

"I know."

Roxas stared at the headstone silently, trying to gather his scattered thoughts. "When…?"

"About a year and a half ago," Axel supplied, taking a deep drag on his cigarette.

"God Axel, I'm sorry." Axel shrugged again, briefly tightening his arm around Roxas's shoulders. Silence settled between them as Axel finished his cigarette – he dropped the butt into the dirt and ground it beneath his boot, already digging for another one.

"Wanna hear a story, Rox?" Roxas didn't answer, only leaned into Axel's side and wrapped an arm around his waist. Axel grinned down at him before he lit his cigarette. "My dad walked out on us when I was nine," he started, eyes trained on his mom's headstone. "Just left for the store one day and never came back. We never heard from him again.

"My mom was really broken up about it – she'd always been kind of a nervous person, and my dad was – he was like her rock, you know? But she had me to take care of." Axel paused, bringing his cigarette to his lips and inhaling deeply. "She pulled herself together and went back to work, and we were fine.

"Then I started dreaming, right around the time my dad left. I tried to tell her about them at first, but she always got upset. I couldn't remember what they were about, and she thought I was repressing stuff about my dad walking out. I quit trying to tell her about them when she started talking about taking me a therapist." He laughed hollowly.

"You missed him," Roxas said quietly. Axel shrugged.

"I was nine."

They stood silently for a moment before Axel took a deep breath. "Things were okay for a while. They weren't great, but they were okay, you know?" He fell silent again, the end of his cigarette flaring as he took another drag. "I didn't see it right away," he muttered. "I was…I was a kid." Roxas tightened his arm around the redhead's waist, and Axel glanced down at him with a tight grin.

"She was always a nervous person," he murmured, turning his eyes back to the ground. "Even before my dad left, she'd fix herself little drinks. Said it helped her nerves." Roxas closed his eyes and fisted his hand in Axel's jacket. "It was gradual – too slow for me to get right away. And then –" He broke off with a sigh, blowing his breath out noisily. "Well, what does everyone say? It's not a problem. She was upset about my dad walking out; she was working to support me; she thought I might be on the edge of having an emotional breakdown. If anyone _needed_ a drink, it was her." He dropped his cigarette to the ground and dug out another one.

"It took me 'til I was eleven to see how far gone she was. I always got back from school before she was finished with work, and I just got to thinking about her spending every night slumped over the table…" The flame from his lighter wavered just a little as he lit his cigarette. "I knew where she hid all her liquor – I got every last fucking bottle and poured it all down the sink." He laughed dryly, staring at the smoke drifting from the end of his cigarette. "Thought that would be the end of it." He hesitated before he expelled his breath harshly and tilted his head back to stare at the sky. "It wasn't.

"She was like a trapped animal. She tore the place apart. When she figured out what I'd done, she slapped me hard enough to spin me into the coffee table." His arm twitched against Roxas's shoulders, as if in remembered pain. "I came down on my arm wrong – snapped it."

"Jesus, Axel," Roxas interrupted, his voice trembling. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" Axel sighed, and it sounded unbearably old and weary in Roxas's ears.

"She was my mom."

He flicked the ash from the end of his cigarette and studied the headstone at their feet for a moment. "She wasn't usually like that, Roxas – she wasn't usually that bad. Mostly she got teary-eyed, sentimental. She wasn't usually –" He paused, gnawing absently at his lip before he sighed. "Mean. She wasn't usually mean.

"She'd manage to get back on the wagon sometimes, but it never lasted long. I think the last time she was really sober – I mean stone, cold sober – was around my fifteenth birthday. Then she slid back under, and she never came out. When I got older, I got a job to get out of the house. She was usually asleep by the time I got home. And then Dem would leave his window open for me in case she was – in case I needed a place to crash for the night." He laughed dryly. "And things weren't fine, but they were regular, you know? At least there was that." Roxas's arm tightened convulsively around Axel's waist.

"Axel –"

Axel gave him a brief squeeze and then slipped out of his hold, kneeling and stubbing his cigarette out against the dirt. He pulled a tissue from his pocket and began gathering the used butts into it, twisting the edges of the tissue into a pouch and sticking it in his pocket absentmindedly. His fingers grazed the plaque affixed to his mom's headstone before he stood, blowing out a breath and dragging a hand through his hair.

"This is why it's different, Roxas," he sighed, turning and regarding Roxas tiredly. "Because it was different from the beginning." He glanced down at the headstone one last time. "She was my mom – she wasn't always the best mom, and sometimes I hated her, but she was my mom."

He met Roxas's eyes with a crooked smile. "I had dreams about you before I even knew you existed, but I also broke my arm when I was ten falling off the monkey bars at school."

"You were afraid I'd leave," Roxas whispered, hands clenched into fists at his sides. Axel laughed and rubbed a hand against his lip.

"Yeah, and I got socked for it," he reminded him dryly, eyes softening when Roxas's lips trembled upwards in a tentative smile. "The point is, you didn't leave, Rox. You stayed." He sighed and stepped forward, tapping Roxas's chest. "It's different this time."

"How do you _know_?" Roxas demanded, but there was no strength in his voice. Axel grinned crookedly.

"Because this time you _care_, Roxas."

Roxas stared at him silently for a moment before he stepped forward and threw his arms around the redhead's neck. Axel's lips were a little too dry, and when he opened his mouth the rough edges of his healing lower lip scraped against Roxas's; Roxas could taste the cigarettes Axel had smoked while telling him about his mother, sickly strong – he tightened his arms around the redhead's neck and pulled him closer anyway, because it was rough and real and _Axel_, who was alive and warm and _there_.

And it was enough.


	19. And One More Time

(A/N): Writer's block is evil. And you guys are going to kill me for where I left off. Still, hope this answers a couple questions. One chapter to go.

Disclaimer: Same old, same old.

And One More Time

The train ride back was silent. Axel sat slouched back in his seat, his hands buried deep in his pockets but his right leg pressed gently against Roxas's left; Roxas thought he could feel the heat from the redhead's skin despite the layers of clothing between them. He shot Axel a quiet smile before he leaned back and let his eyes slide closed, mind blissfully blank. He didn't move again until he felt Axel stir next to him; then the redhead was tapping his knee, eyes lit with a grin when Roxas blinked his own eyes open.

"This is our stop."

Roxas nodded and pushed himself up, following Axel out of the train and up the subway steps without a word. Axel lit a cigarette before draping an arm over Roxas's shoulders and pulling the younger boy into his side. "You okay?"

Roxas nodded. "Yeah." He glanced up at the redhead with a slightly accusatory expression. "You didn't have to spring that on me like that, you know." Axel winced a little and scratched at his temple.

"Yeah. Sorry."

Roxas only sighed and burrowed a little further into Axel's side. "I am sorry, Axel."

A tired smirk flashed across Axel's face, but he only tightened his arm around Roxas's shoulder. "Yeah."

Neither of them said anything more until they arrived at Axel's apartment. Roxas slipped out from beneath the redhead's arm and turned to face him. "So now what?"

Axel shrugged, pulling a hand through his hair and glancing down the hall, a small grin creeping across his face. "Dunno," he muttered. He rolled his eyes when Roxas sighed and ran his hands through his hair. Ignoring Roxas's indignant yelp, he drew the blond into an abrupt hug, laughing a little when Roxas smacked his nose against the redhead's shoulder. "You think too damn much, you know that?"

Roxas held himself stiffly for a moment before relaxing into the embrace. "Moron," he muttered, wrapping his arms around the redhead's waist. Axel snorted and threaded his fingers through Roxas's hair.

"Shut up, Roxas."

Before Roxas could even begin forming a reply, Axel sealed their lips together, grinning into the kiss when Roxas huffed at him before relenting and leaning further into his warmth.

* * *

Roxas stared absently out the darkened window, the dish he was supposed to be drying dripping onto the counter. A dishtowel hung limply from the curled fingers of his other hand, but Roxas took no notice of that, either. He was vaguely aware that he could hear Demyx and Axel in the living room, trying to blow one another to hell and back on whatever new game Demyx had brought home, but most of his attention remained fixed on the darkness beyond the window. 

"I can set them in the drainer to drip-dry."

Roxas started at the dry voice and glanced sheepishly at Zexion. The slate-haired man was holding another dripping plate out to him, one eyebrow arched and the corners of his lips turned down just slightly.

"Sorry," Roxas mumbled, hurriedly drying the dish he still held in his hands before reaching for the one Zexion was holding.

"You don't have to help, you know," Zexion pointed out, scrubbing one of the pans briskly. Roxas shrugged, a rueful smile slipping across his face as he stacked the dried dishes in the cupboard.

"I'm over here all the time – it's about time I started."

Zexion's lips quirked up before he ducked his head and returned his attention to the sink. "I suppose."

"I should be saying that to _you_," Roxas grinned, taking another plate from Zexion. "It's not your apartment – you shouldn't have to clean up." Zexion shrugged and shook his hair out of his face.

"I don't mind."

Roxas nodded and dried the plates Zexion gave him silently, eyes returning to the window. He started a little when Zexion spoke again.

"Demyx asked me to speak to you."

Roxas blinked, trying to regain his equilibrium in the face of the sudden statement. "What? Why?"

Zexion hesitated before tipping his head back and staring pensively at the ceiling. "He says you've been…strange lately – you and Axel both. He's concerned."

Roxas scowled and glanced away when Zexion turned to look at him, setting the last of the dishes in the cupboard. "We're fine." Zexion only stared at him. Roxas's scowl deepened as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Look, if he's so concerned, why doesn't he ask me himself?" The ghost of a smile flitted across Zexion's face as he brushed his hair out of his face.

"Because he's speaking to Axel in the living room."

Roxas stared at him for a moment before his face broke into a reluctant grin. "Poor Axel." Zexion's lips twitched again.

"Indeed," he said dryly.

Roxas ran his hands through his hair with a sigh, ducking his head and studying the tops of his shoes. "We really are fine, okay? Just – what do you want me to say?" Zexion shrugged.

"I don't want you to say anything. I was only asking for Demyx."

They stared at each for another moment before Zexion pulled the plug in the sink and wiped his hands on the dishtowel. "Well, I asked," he sighed. He glanced at the archway leading into the living room before returning his gaze toward Roxas. "I think Demyx would prefer to speak to Axel privately. Would you like some coffee?"

Roxas rolled his eyes and moved toward the coffeepot, waving vaguely toward the table, which had been tucked into the corner of the kitchen. "Sit down," he grumbled. He poured a cup of coffee for each of them, then moved to sit across from Zexion. The slate-haired man took his cup with a nod of thanks, cradling it between his hands. There was a brief silence as Roxas tapped one heel idly against his chair leg and rested his chin in his hand.

"So," Zexion said suddenly, glancing up and catching Roxas's eye before the blond could look away. "I've asked for Demyx. I'd like to ask for myself now." Roxas arched an eyebrow and frowned at the slate-haired man.

"Excuse me?"

Zexion sat forward, some of his hair sliding into his face with the movement. "I'm curious," he murmured, tilting his head and studying Roxas with an analytical air. "Perhaps it's not my business, but even I've noticed the two of you acting strangely recently."

Roxas's frown deepened. "You're right, it's not your business," he grumbled. A wry smile flashed across Zexion's face, but he didn't say anything. Roxas lowered his gaze to his cup, still clicking his heel against the chair leg. Finally, he sighed and met Zexion's eyes again. "Do you dream?"

Zexion hesitated for a second, his eyes searching Roxas's face intently. "Everybody does," he said carefully. Roxas smirked and glanced toward the living room.

"Yeah, but people don't ambush them over it," he muttered. Zexion surprised him by laughing – it was low and soft, barely there, but Roxas couldn't help smiling at the sound.

"True," Zexion admitted, grinning ruefully. He tipped his cup up, staring at the liquid sloshing inside. "So you've had them, as well." Roxas felt his shoulders relaxing as he nodded.

"Yeah."

There was another short silence punctuated by the sounds of the video game filtering from the living room; Roxas wasn't sure, but he thought he could make out the hum of low conversation under the screen of the explosions and gunfire. "Demyx, too?" Roxas asked suddenly. Zexion only nodded, still staring into his cup.

"Since he was ten."

Roxas blew out a breath and slumped over his cup, staring blankly at the table. "So what do you think they are?" he asked at last, glancing up at Zexion. Zexion shrugged, taking a small sip of his coffee.

"When did you begin dreaming?"

Roxas blinked at him. "What?"

"When did you begin dreaming?" Zexion repeated patiently. Roxas shrugged.

"Sometime after I turned ten," he muttered. Zexion nodded and leaned forward, his eyes boring into Roxas's own.

"What else happened when you were ten?" he asked mildly. Roxas stared at him for a moment before he hunched his shoulders and glanced away.

"My mom died."

Instead of expressing sympathy, Zexion nodded again, leaning back in his seat and taking another sip of coffee. "Demyx's parents got divorced right before his dreams began. My grandfather died."

"Axel's dad walked out on him," Roxas interrupted, eyes wide. Zexion made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat and nodded again, cradling his cup in his hands. He took a deep breath before speaking again.

"This is all conjecture," he stated, raising his eyes to meet Roxas's. "Theory. I don't know the truth any more than you do." Roxas nodded, keeping his eyes trained on Zexion's face. Zexion lowered his gaze back to his cup, turning it absently in his hands.

"Whatever they are," he began, hair tumbling forward into his face, "it seems safe to say they're tied closely to emotion. They only took form after the first major emotional trauma in each of our childhoods. They only began to make sense after meeting…" He paused, brushing his hair out of his face absently before he continued softly. "After meeting someone who prompted a strong emotional reaction in each of us." He glanced up and caught Roxas's eyes with his own. "They were more intense when you felt strongly about something, weren't they?" Roxas nodded dumbly, fingers tightening around his cup. Zexion nodded and dropped his eyes back to his coffee.

"Why?" Roxas asked quietly. Zexion was silent for a moment before he glanced toward the archway.

"Perhaps because emotion was what was missing before."

Roxas's stomach dropped. He and Axel had tiptoed around the issue, but to hear it discussed in such a calm, rational manner was a little disconcerting. Zexion turned his eyes back to the blond. "Of all your dreams, what is the one thing you remember the most strongly?" Roxas had to glance away and take a deep breath to try and steady himself at the disconcerting intensity in Zexion's eyes. "Roxas?"

"Being empty," he muttered, voice harsh. "Being aware of it every second of every day and being willing to do _anything_ to make it go away." To his surprise, Zexion's face broke into a strained smile.

"Yes," he said quietly, tapping a finger against his coffee cup. "We were all willing to do whatever it took. That was how it began." Roxas frowned at him in confusion, but Zexion didn't elaborate, only stared down into his coffee. "I suspect," he said at length, "that they have little to no bearing on our actual _lives_, you understand. They're like…breathing; they simply _are_."

"_Why_?" Roxas growled, smacking his palm against the table in frustration. "If they don't _mean_ anything, if they don't _change_ anything, why don't they just go_ away_?" Zexion glanced at him in surprise.

"Your dreams haven't receded at all?" Roxas scowled and hunched over his coffee, glaring into his cup.

"I thought they would," he muttered. "But they just, they – they didn't." He blew his breath out in an aggravated sigh and rested his head in his hands. Zexion studied him carefully, tipping his head to the side as his eyes scrutinized Roxas's face.

"You were always different," he murmured. Roxas glanced up at him, frowning.

"What?"

"That may be it," Zexion continued, seeming not to have heard him. "We all lived with our memories of before, but you – you never had any."

"What are you talking about?" Roxas asked sourly, propping his head back in his hands. Zexion took a sip of his coffee, his eyes trained on Roxas's face, before he shrugged.

"Your dreams may not recede," he said softly. "But Roxas –" He leaned forward, waiting until Roxas glanced up at him to continue. "Roxas, they don't mean anything. They've served their purpose." Roxas frowned at him.

"What purpose?"

Zexion smiled, and Roxas couldn't help but stare – it was the most open expression he'd ever seen on the slate-haired man's face. "We're finding each other, aren't we?"

Roxas's face split into a slow smile as he kept his eyes locked with Zexion's, only breaking eye contact when Axel loped into the kitchen. He paused when he took in the two of them sitting at the table. "What are you guys doing?"

Zexion shrugged and pushed himself out of his seat, moving to the sink to rinse out his cup. "Just talking." Axel glanced at Roxas, one eyebrow raised in silent question, but Roxas's smile only widened as he brought his coffee to his lips and took a long drink.

* * *

Axel threw an arm over Roxas's shoulder and gave him a brief squeeze as they watched Zexion and Demyx disappear down the sidewalk. "So did Zexion jump you with a talk, too?" he asked, a sharp grin flashing across his features when Roxas glanced up at him, surprised. Roxas shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets. 

"Yeah."

"And?"

"And nothing. We talked."

Axel snorted, but Roxas didn't miss the subtle apprehension in his expression. "You satisfied we're okay yet?"

Roxas couldn't help grinning when Demyx spun on his heel and waved vigorously just before he and Zexion disappeared from view; he leaned a little further into Axel and looped an arm absently around the redhead's waist.

"Yeah." He glanced up at Axel with a smirk. "We're insane and _seriously_ fucked up, but we're okay." Axel blinked at him before he burst out laughing, ruffling the blond's hair with his free hand.

"All right," he chuckled, pulling Roxas into a rough hug. Roxas could feel his breath stirring his hair as the redhead rested his cheek on top of Roxas's head. "All right. That'll work."

* * *

Roxas was waiting on the front steps when Namine arrived at school the next morning. The petite blonde paused, her face breaking into a gentle smile when Roxas grinned at her. "You're here early," she commented, coming to sit beside him. 

Roxas nodded. "Yeah."

Namine studied his expression closely, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Are you okay, Roxas?" Roxas's grin widened, and Namine's expression morphed into a vague sort of confusion when Roxas wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah," he chuckled, resting his forehead against hers. "Yeah, I think I am."

* * *

Roxas peered up into the rain pouring down on them before glancing up at Axel. "This is why you should check the weather before you leave the apartment," he commented, grinning at the look Axel flashed him. 

"Don't start," the redhead warned, tightening his arm around the blond's shoulders. Roxas only smirked and buried his hands in his pockets. Axel glanced down at him when he remained silent. "You okay?"

Roxas shrugged. "Just thinking."

"Mm."

They walked in silence another half a block before Axel spoke again. "About what?"

"What?"

"What are you thinking about?" Axel asked, grinning when Roxas glanced up at him with an incredulous expression.

"Doesn't matter," Roxas muttered. Axel sighed and ran his fingers up into Roxas's wet hair, gently massaging his scalp.

"Rox, I just bought you dinner."

"I paid for my half," Roxas protested, poking Axel forcefully in the side.

"I covered the tip. Shut up," Axel grinned, squeezing the back of Roxas's neck. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, can't argue with _that_ logic," he muttered. Axel waved his hand impatiently, raindrops arcing off of his skin on both sides in the wake of his movements.

"Not the point," he said. "What are you thinking about?" Roxas shrugged.

"Something Zexion said."

Axel sighed and glanced down at the blond. "Still?"

Roxas scowled at the redhead's expression. "Not like that, okay?" Axel frowned at him.

"Like what, then?"

Roxas hesitated, biting absently at his lip as he stared up the street. They paused at a light, and Axel pulled Roxas around in front of him so he could look him in the eye. "Roxas?"

"He said we're finding each other again," Roxas sighed, tilting his head back and letting his eyes slide almost closed against the rain.

"So?"

Roxas tried to wipe the water out of his face, and he caught a glimpse of the man with the wide-brimmed hat striding purposely down the sidewalk, paying no attention to where he was going, over Axel's shoulder a split second before the guy slammed into him. Axel stumbled forward, and his momentum carried over into Roxas; Roxas staggered back into the street – and everything seemed to slow down.

"_You're really going?"_

Axel's eyes widened as he struggled to get his feet back under him, gaze flashing up the block. Roxas turned with what felt like unbearable slowness and numbly took in the sight of the car bearing down on him.

"_Would you try to stop me?"_

It was patently unfair, Roxas reflected, that after everything he was going to be run down by a car with _Gummi_ emblazoned across the grille. He felt his lips twist in a hysterical grin and tried to suppress it, tried to urge his legs to move.

His body wouldn't listen to him.

"_I __**will**__ find you again_."

The car's brakes shrieked as they locked and the vehicle began to slide on the wet road, listing to the right. Roxas silently urged it to keep sliding, hoping by some miracle it would slide right past him and leave him unharmed.

"_Let's meet again in the next life."_

The driver wrestled the car out of its slide, and it shot forward with surprising speed. Roxas glanced over at Axel – eyes wild, features twisted in panic – and felt a small, selfish relief that at least he wasn't the one who had to watch this time.

"_Yeah. I'll be waiting."_

"Roxas!"


	20. Hanging by a Moment

(A/N): It's been a journey, guys. I can't thank you enough for sticking with it. I seriously love you all - you've made this entire process worth every stupid second. I hope you enjoy this, the last chapter.

Disclaimer: Right. Twenty chapters later, I still do not own any of this.

Hanging by a Moment

Time slowed to a crawl. Roxas finally managed to break out of his paralysis – he took a step back, raising his arms in front of his face in a hopeless effort to protect himself from the vehicle bearing down on him. The car closed the distance between them with frightening rapidity, and Roxas squeezed his eyes shut, inanely hoping it wouldn't hurt.

And suddenly Axel was there, arms wrapping around Roxas's shoulders and pulling the blond into his chest. Roxas froze, mind blank with shock, and Axel tightened his arms around him and dragged him around so that his own body stood between Roxas and the coming car. Panic drummed through Roxas's body and he shoved blindly at Axel's chest, trying to get the redhead to release him, but Axel refused to be shaken off. Roxas wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all, but before he could open his mouth, the car struck them.

The bone-jarring impact forced them up and back, on top of the car's hood. They teetered there for a few precarious moments, and Roxas could only squeeze his eyes shut again and fist his hands in Axel's jacket.

The car's brakes shrieked as the driver slammed down on them again, and the car began listing to the right as he lost control of the vehicle. Axel and Roxas slid off the side of the hood and fell back toward the sidewalk. They struck the pavement and rolled once, twice; Axel's arms fell away from him and Roxas rolled free, coming to rest in a tangled heap on the cracked concrete.

For long moments all he could do was lay there with his cheek pressed against the wet pavement, tasting the blood in his mouth and hazily worrying about internal bleeding. He couldn't really feel his body, but he wasn't sure he really wanted to. The world seemed to contract and expand around him, and he let his eyes fall closed, only peripherally aware of the rain beating down on him and the buzz of worried conversation above him.

Everything came crashing back down on him when someone laid a tentative hand against his shoulder and squeezed gently.

"Young man?"

Roxas's lips skinned back from his teeth in a silent scream as pain shot from the top of his skull down the length of his spine. Suddenly everything snapped into jagged relief – the pain beating a steady tattoo against his skull; the cold rain seeping into his clothing, making each small abrasion sting; the worried mutterings above him…

And Axel's continued silence.

Roxas ran a bloody tongue over equally bloody lips and tried to take a deep breath. Fire flared through his lungs, and he curled into a ball on the pavement, clutching his hands to his head. Hands descended on him from above, trying to keep him still.

"You shouldn't move."

Roxas managed to crack an eye open far enough to peer up at the faceless voice. A man with startling golden eyes and a neatly trimmed goatee was kneeling above him, expression shadowed. A wide-brimmed hat rested on the pavement next to him. "You," Roxas mumbled numbly.

The man flinched and drew his hands back. "You shouldn't move until the ambulance gets here," he said quietly. Roxas's features twisted in a snarl as he tried to push himself up.

"Shut up."

"Please, you shouldn't –"

"It was your fault!" Roxas shouted, wrapping an arm around his aching ribs. The stranger winced and glanced away from Roxas. Roxas followed his gaze, his heart quailing in his chest when his eyes fell on Axel, lying still and silent on the sidewalk a few yards away from them.

"I'm sorry," the man murmured, so softly Roxas almost missed it. "I didn't see you – I'm so very, very sorry."

Roxas ignored him, his heart hammering painfully against his ribs as he tried to stand. His legs refused to support him. Grinding his teeth together, Roxas kept one arm wrapped securely across his chest and used his other arm to crawl the short distance to where the redhead lay.

Axel was lying on his back, arms flung wide and head lolling to the right. His eyes were closed. Roxas paused next to him, his pulse beating a punishing rhythm in his ears. He tried to speak; couldn't. Clearing his throat, he spat out a bloody wad of phlegm and tried again.

"Axel."

The redhead didn't respond to his voice. Roxas reached out and laid a hand against Axel's cheek, silently urging him to open his eyes. "Axel." He let his fingers trail to the side of Axel's throat, trying to remember where you were supposed to be able to feel the pulse. "Axel!" Giving up on trying to find the jugular, he gripped the redhead's shoulder, shaking him slightly. "Axel, dammit!"

Axel groaned in the back of his throat before his eyes fluttered open. "Roxas?" Roxas's fingers tightened spasmodically against the redhead's shoulder, and Axel winced. "That really – that really fucking hurts," he muttered with a grimace.

Roxas's mouth dropped open as a shaky smirk spread across Axel's lips. Ignoring the redhead's shout of pain, Roxas shoved at his shoulder before he drew back. "You…you fucking asshole," he breathed, sitting heavily on the ground.

"Sticks and stones, Rox," Axel chided in a weak voice. Roxas groaned and leaned forward, wrapping both arms across his chest.

"Moron," he whispered, voice trembling. Axel's lips twisted up in a grin as he cast a glance down the length of his body.

"Can't argue with that," he breathed, resting his head back on the pavement. Roxas opened his mouth only to close it again; tightening his arms around his chest, he hunched forward, trying to ignore the rain seeping into what felt like every article of his clothing. After a few moments of silence, Axel let his eyes slide closed.

"Why, Axel?"

Axel cracked an eye open and peered up at him, expression blank. Roxas ducked his head and cut his eyes to the side. "You could've gotten killed," he muttered, struggling to keep his voice even. Axel stared at him for a moment before he tried to laugh, but it quickly devolved into a violent fit of coughing.

"You're killing me, kid," he wheezed, raising one hand and tangling it in Roxas's hair. He tugged the blond's head down closer to him, ignoring Roxas's thin hisses of protest. He waited until Roxas met and held his gaze before he spoke again. "It's not the same, Roxas, you hear me? It's over. I can't _do_ this shit again."

Roxas blinked at him, a watery smile spreading across his features as Axel's face split into a strained grin. The redhead gave him a gentle shake before he unwound his fingers from Roxas's hair. Roxas reached up and grabbed Axel's hand, tangling their fingers together as he slowly lowered it back to the ground. Axel's expression eased before he let his eyes fall closed again.

Sirens rose in the distance, and Roxas tilted his face up into the rain and waited, tightening his fingers around Axel's.

* * *

Roxas was taken to the hospital in a separate ambulance from Axel. He was kept overnight for observation and walked out of the hospital under his own power twenty-four hours later. He walked away from the accident with a mild concussion and a plethora of other minor sprains and abrasions. 

Axel's left leg had been reduced to so many splinters of bone and required several pins to piece it back together. He underwent surgery an hour after being brought in. Roxas visited him every day, smuggling him food and soda until the redhead was wheeled out a week later, sporting a long leg cast and three cracked ribs.

Demyx met them at the entrance with a rented car.

None of them looked back as they pulled away.

* * *

_**Four months later**_

Roxas tugged self-consciously at the collar of his graduation gown, clutching his diploma to his chest and attempting a smile that came out looking more like a grimace.

"Oh, _c'mon_, Roxas," Sora huffed, frowning at him over the top of his camera. "It's your graduation – act happy." Roxas scowled at his cousin, but Sora only grinned and snapped the picture anyway. "There's one for the scrapbook," he muttered, straightening and rolling his eyes at Roxas.

"I'm dying in this thing," Roxas grumbled, picking at the shoulders of the gown. The day was unseasonably warm and humid, and the concept of an outdoor graduation had lost its appeal barely twenty minutes into the ceremony. Sora sighed and slipped the camera into his pocket, scratching idly at his hair as he came to stand next to Roxas.

"So how's it feel?"

"Hot," Roxas groused, waving his rolled diploma at his face in a vain attempt to cool himself off.

"Not _that_," Sora complained, smiling in spite of himself as he poked at his cousin's temple. Roxas's face broke into a grudging grin as he batted his hand away.

"I dunno," he sighed. "Hasn't sunk in yet, I guess." Sora made a small sound in the back of his throat and rocked back on his heels, watching all the activity around them. There was a short silence, both boys wrapped in their own thoughts. Finally, Roxas cleared his throat. "Did Riku graduate yet?"

Sora nodded distractedly, reaching up and tugging on a strand of his hair. "Last week. The day before I flew out." He ducked his head and scuffed a toe against the ground. "It'll be weird without him at school next year," he mumbled.

"Where's he going?"

"Trinity University."

"But that's still in Destiny Islands," Roxas protested. "He'll be right there, won't he?" Sora shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, I guess," he muttered.

"And you've still got Kairi," Roxas pointed out, smirking as he smacked Sora's arm with his diploma. A soft smile stole over Sora's face before he tilted his head up and stared at the sky.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I've still got Kairi."

"It's just another year," Roxas pressed. Sora blinked before he glanced over at his cousin, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Are you trying to cheer me up, Rox?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

Roxas rolled his eyes and glanced away, frowning. "I'm just saying Riku graduating isn't the end of the world," he muttered.

Sora stared at him for another moment before he smiled and glanced away, rubbing sheepishly at the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess it isn't," he chuckled. There was another short silence before Sora turned back to face him, bending down to peer up at his face. Roxas scowled and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What?"

Sora blinked before he grinned and straightened, running his hands through his hair. "Nothing."

"Roxas!"

They both looked up as Namine jogged up to them, one hand clapping her graduation cap to her head. Sora's grin gentled into a smile before he clapped Roxas on the shoulder and turned away. "I'm gonna find Cloud, okay, Roxas?" he called over his shoulder. "We'll see you later."

Roxas frowned after his cousin's retreating back until Namine laid a hand against his arm. She smiled up at him as she pressed a cloth-wrapped parcel into his hands. "Happy graduation, Roxas."

Roxas stared at the parcel, his throat tight. "Namine – we said no gifts," he muttered. Namine shrugged, her eyes bright as he laced her fingers together, twisting them nervously.

"I know."

Roxas held the package for another moment before he undid the string, carefully pulling the cloth away from the object underneath. His eyes widened.

It was a small, lightweight canvas, one he could easily hold in his hand – Namine had painted the image so exactingly it almost resembled a photograph. Roxas stared at himself and Axel, sitting on the edge of some sort of high tower, overlooking a town drenched in perpetual sunset. They each held a bar of sea-salt ice cream.

He glanced up at Namine – she was biting her lip, studying his expression closely. "Do you like it?" she asked, a nervous smile trembling on her lips. Roxas stared at her for another second before he wrapped her in a tight hug, carefully holding the painting out of harm's way.

"Yeah," he breathed, burying his nose in her hair and smiling when she wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders. "Yeah, I do."

He felt her smile against his neck before she pulled back, landing a quick peck against his cheek before she linked her fingers with his. "Olette wants us to come over to celebrate," she said softly. "Are you coming?"

Roxas smiled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Yeah."

* * *

Axel opened the door at Roxas's knock, grinning when he found the blond standing in the hallway. "Your party over?" he asked, draping an arm over Roxas's shoulders. Roxas shrugged and let the redhead drag him further into the apartment. 

"Yeah." He wrapped an arm around Axel's waist when he noticed the redhead was limping slightly. "How's your leg?"

Axel waved a hand dismissively, tugging Roxas down to sit next to him on the couch. "Still attached," he grinned. "Doctor says in another couple months it'll be just like new." Roxas nodded, his finger trailing over Axel's jeans, unconsciously tracing the circular scars that remained on the redhead's leg. "So," Axel sighed, running a hand through his hair and raising an eyebrow at Roxas, "now what?"

Roxas shrugged and ducked his head. "Dunno. College, I guess. Cloud's pretty insistent on that point."

Axel hummed in the back of his throat, threading his fingers through Roxas's hair. "Okay," he said slowly, a crooked smile spreading across his face when Roxas glanced up at him. "But I was talking about right now." Roxas couldn't help grinning as he rolled his eyes.

"I thought your leg hurt."

Axel snorted, sitting up and moving to straddle Roxas's lap. "It doesn't hurt that damn much, Rox." Roxas huffed as Axel sealed their lips together; Axel only grinned and slid his fingers up into Roxas's hair, pulling back far enough to quirk an eyebrow at the blond. "You staying tonight?"

Roxas shook his head in exasperation and pulled Axel back down for another kiss.


End file.
